Dearest FreeMotion, can I please....

Quail_Antwerp

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OK, these are the skills I've learned this year...

1) Use of hammer

2) Learned how to put pills down a calf's throat (virtually the same for every animal, but I won't do cats!)

3) Learned to use cross cut saw

4) Learned how to use manual post hole digger, and dug posts for new poultry pen.

5) Learned how to clean a horse's (or in my case pony's) hooves with a hoof pick.

6) Learned how to trim that same pony's hooves.

7) Learned to use a weedeater

8) Learned how to make jam! with a water bath canner.

9) Learned how to take an alternator off my Jeep, and put the new alternator on!!!!!!

Skills I already had:

1) chickening

2) can ride a horse (if it's already broke!)

3) mow

4) can read a measuring tape

5) good with housekeeping

6) CPR certified

7) I know how to assist an animal with delivery

8) Some medical training (ie. I can check blood pressure, temps, pulse, respiratory thanks to medical assistant classes)

9) Can grow a garden, but not the greenest thumb I know

10) I can fish, just don't make me clean 'em

11) I can cook over an open fire

12) I can wash clothes in a large kettle over the same open fire (after dinner)

13) I know how to sew by hand

14) can do machine quilting

15) I know how to barter

16) I know some of which wild plants are edible

17) I'm loud and can be heard from quite a distance, comes in handy if someone has lost the direction back to camp... ;)

18) Thanks to DH, I can recognize and name several different types of trees

ETA: #18
 

Blackbird

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Well, I'll have you all know, I am the first person Free invited to stay in her guest bedroom. In case your all still confused, I had a name change, this is 'Amos'.
But honestly, I vote we turn the guest bedroom into a storage/drying room. We should keep the bed for Ernie, or if someone else gets injured later on.

I might have to bring my mother if thats the case. Sometimes I think she can do it all - and she can make wine. She put up 19 bottles last year from our own grapes.

Are we listing all the things we know how to do? If so I could add a couple more.
 

Quail_Antwerp

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We better make sure we have a lot of rope or duct tape, too, because Ernie is going to be up trying to DO stuff.....
 

FarmerDenise

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Wifezilla, I learned paper making it in art class too. Then I ended up working for a really cool childrens mail order company and got to test out there products. So I got a paper making kit.
I think between the two of us, we could produce some pretty shifty Nifty ( ;) ) TP, don't you think? ;)
 

Quail_Antwerp

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Blackbird said:
Aly, I must ask - why not cats?
Because cats are the only animal I truly believe are psycotic (no offense to cat lovers) and for further explanation:

How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to
leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's
mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large
piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down
throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor
stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.
Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't know if this is considered a skill, but I can bathe and brush a dog..Just ask my yorkie and shih tzu...they hate me for the baths and grooming and bows I make them wear :p
 

Blackbird

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Ummm.. yeah. I think entertainment is covered. Just give Aly a pill and a cat!

Maybe it was the vigorous rubbing. I just gently rub on their throat and they automatically swallow. :idunno
 

SKR8PN

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The last cat we had, developed a case of lead poisoning.
 
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