Do you have SS friends? Or do your friends think you are weird?

[Beekissed]

I hear you, Quail! That is part of my deal also...the sheer necessity of living simply~ to get by financially. But then, we could be living off the government, or on credit, like some folks and we don't. Maybe we have some pride, and a fear of dependency?

It just makes sense to me also, Pat. Its just common sense to not foster dependency on luxuries when they can be so transient in one's life. Money comes and it goes, disaster strikes and one's savings can be depleted through no fault of our own. How we weather it is the deciding factor, I suppose.

Do we get back up, dust off our knees and re-evaluate our priorities or do we go deeper in debt trying to maintain a lifestyle that has proven itself to be unstable, at best. I'm often surprised at how many people feel like a huge savings and investments insulate them against life's troubles. One serious illness can wipe it all out. Gone. Are they then farther ahead than the fellow who just went through the same illness with Medicaid or Medicare for insurance?

I'm not saying its not a good idea to have some money in savings but it can't be your only backup plan. A good background of making something of nothing and providing for your family when you are down to nothing is just as important, I think. Making sure your family knows how to survive when money is no longer the bargaining chip. The way the economy is going right now is a good warning that the dollar is not as mighty as it once was. In a world where money is reduced to a piece of paper and the goal is to feed one's family...I think the people who can grow and preserve food, keep their family warm and clothed, and know how to recycle will be kings.

 

[unclejoe]

I wonder what draws some people into this, sort of like a compulsion, isn't it? What is it about us that makes us want to take the road less traveled....actually a road that is going the opposite direction of the rest of the world. I like to ponder it and often wonder...why me? What is it that makes me love the idea of this? Is a call from God, or some deep down residual call to find one's roots and heritage; a nostalgic urge to keep hold on an era that was simple, true and real.

Just seems sensible to me <shrug>.

I mean, you look around you at so much of the stuff that people have these days, and the way the advertising industry wants us to think we should live, and you think "gee, people did PERFECTLY FINE without all that, twenty or fifty or a hundred years ago, and just look at how much it costs and how much it messes up your life. Really, why bother?"

We've become a throw away society. If it's not the newest gadget on the market, it's no good. The newest vehicle we have is a 1994. We get asked why we don't get rid of them and drive something "nice". As far as we're concerned, a car is just a way to get from point A to point B a little faster than riding one of the horses. If you keep them maintained they keep working for you. Besides, there aren't many hitching posts around any more
We do have a couple that feel the same way we do. They grow most of their own food, have a couple cows, and lots chickens. They make their own butter and cheese that I'm hoping to learn to do once we get our dairy goat in the spring. My dad is supportive but my mom "just doesn't get it". They grew up in the 40'a and 50's when the "gadgets" were really starting to roll out of the factory's. She can't understand why I stopped trying to "do better" and "regressed" back to living off the land instead of just going out and buying what I want. I'm having a hard time making her understand that I ENJOY the way I live now. It's so much more gratifying to go to the garden or to the cellar to get your next meal. I can no longer imagine relying on someone else to provide everything I need for my very survival.

 

[me&thegals]

I'm fortunate to have wonderful friends and family who mostly get it. My sister is learning how to can with me and garden at her place, plus she helps me with some of the foraging and my own big garden. Most of the rest of my family does not do too much SS, but they get farm shares or do some canning and definitely appreciate the benefits. They definitely do NOT have to have the latest toys, live on credit card debt or anything like that.

Most of my friends are not SS but really admire the lifestyle. One of my best friends is also a CSA farmer, chicken owner, canner, etc. I have other friends who make soap, keep goats and rabbits, and so on.

What I find amazing is how many people do something SS that they just don't talk about until the subject comes up. I had a casual friend for years and didn't realize until this year that her husband is a beekeeper.

So, most people think it's awesome how much we do here at our house. My family approves of us living below our means. My husband's family thinks we're a little nutty to work so hard but enjoy getting gifts of the things we've grown/canned.

I think that it's really human nature to be a bit cautious of people who are different. I personally find it fascinating, but many other people may find it a bit uncomfortable. I try really hard to never be preachy, to cheerfully tell people about how we do things if they're interested and keep my mouth shut if they're not It seems like quite a few people are really interested in learning how to do these things for themselves but have simply never considered the possibility or met anybody who could teach them how to do it!

Beekissed and Pat--I think you both nailed it. I DO feel a compulsion. I could not even conceive of a life where I didn't can, have a huge garden, forage. Plus, it IS just common sense. Why on earth would I pay someone else to do that which I can do well myself?

 

[Homesteadmom]

My dh used to think I was crazy but he is getting more on board now that he is seeing how our economy is turning. My mom thought our raising animals was not for her. But she loves my eggs!! And the garden helps them out too. But she is now seeing how right I have been about wanting to be self sufficent. My brother is on the same page too about SS. But I have friends that don't understand it. Our neighbors, she wants a garden but he does not. So we will see what happens there. Some think it's cool & others think I am crazy. But I love it so no one is changing my mind.

 

[roosmom]

I am pretty sure FIL and MIL and others snicker at me. My DH and I seem to think a lot alike on these types of things. He says we were born a century to late.
My MOTHER (we all know about my mom) is very happy I am canning again. She just wishes I would do it her way LOL.
My DH is my best friend, simple. HE is my best friend. I have tried the friendship thing with other women. They are too into their kids, or they have an already established group of friends. Or I am always the one initiating things. I guess I am a person that is always a friend, but never a best friend.
I have really enjoyed my time on here. Sometimes It feels lonely on here, but then one of you will post something to a thread of mine and its not so lonely, lol. I have been working on my thin skinnedness.
Then there is Toni, she is the same age as my daughter. We used to work together. She is also concerned about the way things are heading. She has did a little canning. I think she is doing a great job raising her kids. I like her.
Yes Beekissed my "friends" think I am wierd. to make a long story short lol

 

[poppycat]

I'm pretty sure EVERYONE thinks I'm weird. I have chickens, a garden, I can, and I have a huge compost pile that always invites commentary.

I think being somewhat SS is a good way to figure out who your true friends are. My friends know I'm that weird lady with chickens running around in her yard and they still like me. The people who turn up their nose and say eeeeew you have chickens, or eeeew compost, well odds are I wouldn't get along with them anyway.

 

[reinbeau]

Everyone knows I'm a weirdo, and I'm proud of it. I learned long ago to not care much what others think of me. I'm not offensive, I don't do anyone any harm with my lifestyle, I'm me and that's just fine

I teach Pilates, and you can't believe some of the comments from my clients. They either laugh at me or are totally incredulous that I have chickens, I love to garden, my idea of fun is four wheeling through the paper roads up in Northern Maine, a nice vacation is tent camping up along the Allagash. Poor pampered things think they're roughing it if they're in a three star instead of a five star resort!

In all seriousness, it always kind of amazes me how soft so many people are.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

In all seriousness, it always kind of amazes me how soft so many people are.

People around here think it is horrible that we live like we do with KIDS. I have one neighbor who totally P's me off because everytime we see them, the wife says "I have been praying for you to get running water. You need it."

Now, I am not opposed to prayer, don't think that, please. But it certainly wore thin on my nerves when she said this each and every time we saw them.

The one and ONLY time she said anything to my husband, he shut her down quick.

He was helping clean up their yard after they had made $27K logging their property and she came running out telling him she got some information for us about a guy who drills wells. "And it will only cost you $4,000. I thought that was such a great price and ya'll need a well so bad! Especially with the little kids. I keep praying for you to get one."

My husband replied that we didn't have $4K to spend getting a well, and that we didn't mind hauling our water in. She follows that up with, "Oh but couldn't you borrow the $ from her parents or something?"

My husband turned to her and replied, "If you are so darn worried about it why don't you pay for it out of the money you just made logging this place? Then you can say you got an answer to prayer!"

She hasn't mentioned it since!

 

[Beekissed]

Great comeback!

I've heard of people calling child services on folks who have kids and no running water! To show you how much times have changed:

When we moved back on our homestead in the 70's, they put a full page article in the local paper describing our lifestyle and ran a pic of our cabin. People found it interesting, not a cause for shame!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

We were turned into Child Services. Once. For the water issue. LOL Case worker didn't make onto our porch. He picked a really bad day to come to the house, too. I had just spent nearly a week in the hospital with my daughter after the public school had kept her IN school all day with a fever of 104 and full body rash.

So social worker shows up and I, not having slept much and naturally being quick tempered, flew off the handle. He stayed in the driveway right next to his car while I ranted and raved about how it wasn't right that he was investigating me over water when the school kept my sick kid all day without calling me.

He asked if he could come in to talk to me, and I replied ONLY if you have a warrant.
Then he asked if he could see my kids. I said NOPE.

I must have been screaming at him pretty loud too because my husband came running out to see what was going on. SW looked at him and asked who he was, hubby replied, Her husband! Who are you?!

I then told the guy that we participate in our local Help Me Grow program with the toddlers and that if there was an issue HMG would be required by law to report it. I told him to call my service coordinator with Help Me Grow if he had any questions.

Case was closed a month later, because there was nothing they legally could do to us about the water. Especially since my kids are clean!

Sorry for the long post. I just HATE childrens services!! They should be called Children DISservices, because around here they seem to pick on the ones who are truly doing right by their kids and ignore the real abuse cases!