Etiquette

[FarmerChick]

In my neck of the woods, manners are not lacking.

guys always hold doors for gals, I never had one not do this regardless of where I am.

in the South we can't say thank you enough....lol...to the point it becomes annoying actually

I think manners are family based in general. If you grow up with parents saying "these are basic manners" then most times the kids will follow--not always--but most times they will.

there are 3 of us kids...2 bros and me....we all have good manners.
so Mom made out on that deal....and my hubby has exceptional manners and does my 5 year old does right now.

So from where I stand....I don't see the manners lacking around my area, most of the younger generation is as well mannered as the older generations maybe it is location, location, location hu)

 

[patandchickens]

Opening doors for women is an interesting example (given by abi in the original post, and in FC above).

It is traditional in European society over the past few hundred years, certainly.

OTOH there are a bunch of people who consider it *bad* manners (not to hold the door for others per se, but to hold the door only for women, I mean).

Whether you find it essential and polite, or a bad idea and rude, just depends on your personal assumptions and preferred traditions. Neither is right, neither is wrong, a perfectly good rationale (and traditional track record) can be given for BOTH. Yet both sides tend to be convinced that their way is the ONLY polite way.

A good example of why I agree entirely with Dunkopf that the point is to behave as well as you know how *yourself*, not worry about what *others* are doing. Which may be done thoughtlessly or may OTOH be done with the very best of intentions.

Pat

 

[FarmerChick]

LOL my hubby holds doors open for men also

it is just a polite thing to do for people....and polite is the South lol

but I agree....polite is just polite to whatever degree people take upon themselves.



one commercial comes to mind.......don't remember the product being plugged-----but one person stops another at a street crossing when a car is coming and they are on the phone----then another person sees that happen, then picks up lost wallet for another person and gives it back to them......then another person sees that happening and then gives a seat to an older woman on a bus----and another person saw that happening and then helps a woman lug heavy bags off the bus

and so on and so on

so observing good behavior is catchy I think the more politeness one sees, the more it is passed on


(I always liked that commercial lol)

 

[dacjohns]

I didn't grow up in a yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am no ma'am environment but I was taught that a gentleman walking with a lady walks between the lady and the street. We were taught to be polite, to say please and thank you, to open doors for women.

We had supper together.

I think much of the deterioration of manners and politeness is because people of my generation failed to teach their children. At least one of the reasons for this failure is selfishness. We wanted more than our parents had so both parents worked. No one was home to teach the children so they learned from their friends. Our children picked up on the desire to have more. Children quit playing with other kids because of TV, video games, etc. They no longer had to be polite. They picked up the idea of I'm special and the world owes me.

Just writing as it comes to me so it is a little disjointed.

 

[Emerald]

I would hope that I have good manners and usually I do, and I hold the door for whomever is behind me.
But I did have an incident while young with some very well to do folks and my I was just hang jawed over what was said by these very "rich" folks and my Grandma told one thing that has really stuck--
Having money is not the same as having manners.

 

[big brown horse]

I was raised to hold the door open for anyone else if I got to it first. Luckily a (real) man would then take the job away from me, then I would say "thank you sir".

Always say "thank you" and "yes please".

Always say "good bye" on the phone. (My ex just hangs up on people especially if it is me. It puts me in the foulest of moods.)

And say "pardon me" if I had no choice but to walk in front of anyone else.

Serve others first.

Never eat the last of anything, no matter what.


And by golly(!) shake hands with a firm handshake while looking the other person in the eye while you smiled.

 

[Beekissed]

That was something that struck me as odd when we first moved here. All these ladies would approach me and say they had met my boys or their girls had classes with my boys and every single one of these people mentioned how polite my boys were.

They are not abnormally polite guys but I guess even their level of politeness was not the norm around here....or anywhere, I guess. I've had that same reaction to their behaviour wherever we've lived.

It's always nice to hear but it makes me wonder just how impolite the rest of the kids are that mine should stand out in that manner.

It is very sad to live in a society in which manners are becoming uncommon. Sort of like the term common sense. Good sense isn't so very common anymore so I figure we should just call it "sense".

I like good manners!

 

[Rebbetzin]

My pet peeve is people not sending thank you notes for gifts.

I think it is a basic breakdown of society. In many areas of life we see less quality in products and services.

Though today I received, or rather our dog Spartacus received, some dog treats from www.jakesdoghouse.com My sister in law sent them to Spartacus.

They arrived not one cookie broken. The cookies were decorated and packaged with great care. We were impressed with the quality! You don't often see that anymore!

 

[Farmfresh]

I belong to the non contact team on this subject.

When you see your kids (well the back of them while they are gaming any way) only a couple of hours a day before falling into bed and eat the majority of your meals in the car after you leave a drive threw window then something just goes away.

I work with kids every day. When they come to us they are literally like wild animals. The loudest toughest one wins. It takes a caring adult willing to give them "face time" to teach a person to be civilized.

They go from eating with fingers only to using silverware, they say "please" and "thank you", "yes mam" (or sir) and "no thank you" when we are finished. This year we have also been working on things like "hold the door for the person behind you" and "waiting for your friends".

All of these things are learned by exposure, example, high expectations, positive reinforcement and PRACTICE. If you have rude parents you never learn the graces, but you usually learn a LOT of cuss words. :/

Right now our kiddos are from K - 2nd grade, but age really does not matter because I have taught high schoolers the EXACT same things because they had the exact same behaviors.

While I am venting about this I also want to mention mashed potatoes.

Most people love mashed potatoes and gravy. That is considered a basic and a comfort food, right? Well these young kids won't even taste them. They look at mashed potatoes and gravy - good mashed potatoes and gravy - like you were feeding them mud. I could not figure it out. Finally it occurred to me, they have never been served mashed potatoes and gravy at home. All of their potatoes come fried and in a box of some kind from a drive threw. And we wonder why they don't have manners?

 

[abifae]

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