Etiquette

[framing fowl]

Down in Birmingham, AL DH & I would joke about thanking people for the thank-you... People would thank you for thanking them and we never really were sure how many thank-you's were right? Did you thank them for the thank you for thanking you or did it stop after 4 exchanges? We were never really sure! But I did get into the habit of saying yes ma'am and no ma'am while down there and it has stuck. Most people around here will hold a door for you which I love.

 

[Farmfresh]

It's the "Ps and Qs" I mostly see lacking.

I listen to phone calls from others at work and the callers and customer service folk all lack in it. When I say please and thank you, the customer almost always responds in kind.

When I'm at a restaurant, people don't always thank the waitress.

People rarely thank their spouse, I've noticed among acquaintances.

Whether you think it is polite or annoying to have a door held isn't the point at all. It's the basic manners that are entirely missing.

Farmfresh, I think you are definitely right. It's the only veneer of civilization I really have down, so I notice it more LOL. "But that's a rule I know! You must do it. It's a rule" hahahaha

Farmerchick... where you live DOES matter. I've heard south is better for basic manners. When I was on the phones in New Jersey, they'd often ask me not to be so polite on the calls. The customers I mean. Saying please and thank you creeped them out. I figure that's part of what's wrong with them.

In order to thank some one you have to be thankful. You have to realize that another person did something kind for you that they did not HAVE to do. Often rude people are so self centered they think they DESERVE those things and that the people doing the kind act are beneath them. Those do gooders should just be happy to serve them.

Most of the kids I am currently working with are autistic, but others in the past were not. Yes good manners is a veneer. It is often worn like a new suit. Yet it is a trait of civilization.

Manners grease the interactions between people, like grease in an engine. Without the proper grease gears crash and freeze up usually destroying the entire engine in the process. If enough people are without good manners civilization will come crashing down.

 

[abifae]

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[Boogity]

<snip> I think much of the deterioration of manners and politeness is because people of my generation failed to teach their children. At least one of the reasons for this failure is selfishness. We wanted more than our parents had so both parents worked. No one was home to teach the children so they learned from their friends. Our children picked up on the desire to have more. Children quit playing with other kids because of TV, video games, etc. They no longer had to be polite. They picked up the idea of I'm special and the world owes me. <snip>

I agree 100%. Lazy parents contribute to this problem, too.

 

[FarmerChick]

that is wild people in Jersey got creeped out

I grew up there....20 years in Jersey and that is where I learned my manners LOL----but been gone 30 years now---who knows what happened to Jersey


one thing I noticed, we do alot of things WAY slower in the South, maybe that helps with manners. Some areas are so fast paced, or violent, or crowded etc. that they don't take the time to be human. Forgetting basic manners and not giving time to others. I am glad I am out of the rat race...sometimes it does make rats

people don't need people as much any more. you can get everyone you desire on the corner of any street practically or online and never leave your home. In older times you had to socialize with people in a manner that would be survivable...like saying thanks when someone gave you an important item that you never ever could acquire I guess.


but I do think every generation thinks the next is more uncivilized

 

[Wifezilla]

with people being raised thinking they are owed something... I have a HUGE pet peeve against entitlement. That's what happens when you coddle. I think a society based on rewarding poor judgement has nowhere to go but to topple.

I agree about the sense of entitlement. Sure every generation thinks the next one coming is a bunch of hooligans, but the entitlement thing is something different.

Many 20-somethings I have known since they were babies grew up to be obnoxious jerks!! They bleed their parents dry, treat their parents house like it has a revolving door, never pay rent, expect mom or dad to pay their cell phone bills, expect mom to bring them lunch at work, constantly borrow money and never pay it back....



The parents bail them out every time they do something stupid and never let them fail and LEARN like they are supposed to. It starts early....doing the kids homework, denying their kid ever does anything wrong even with tons of evidence that is WAS their kid that spray painted the school or broke in to the neighbor's car....

I know people in danger of losing their homes, not because they don't have a job, but because they kept giving money to their stupid kids instead of taking care of themselves.

 

[2dream]

I live in the South and find it depends on where you are as to what you get. 5 cities run together here. And I do mean run together to the point in one place on one side of the street one cities cops will respond but on the oposite side of the street another cities cops have to respond. No lie, if you run up on the medium, the cops will argue over who "has" to work the accident. But back to the topic. In some areas you will find mostly polite, mannerly people. In others you will find rude, indifferent people and yet in others you will find the meanest, nastiest, slit your throat for looking them in the eye people. But in all the areas you will find some of everything. So I try not to worry about everyone else and concentrate on myself. If I am polite and mannerly most will respond in kind. For those who don't I figure a) there may be a good reason, b) they are just rude and nasty by nature.

My smile and good manners are either a cheerful pick me up to whoever is having a bad day or a reminder of their simple lapse into temporary rudness. And for rude and nasty by nature, who knows, either I am the first kind person they have seen in weeks, months, years or even forever, or they think I am a weak fool. So I kind of feel sorry for them when I think of the kind of life they must have had to be that type of person.

In either case, I WIN

 

[abifae]

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[SKR8PN]

For me, a lack of using manners that have been properly taught, stems from a lack of respect, for both the inner self and the fellow man.
If you have never been taught respect, then no amount of instruction in manners will help, and visa-versa.

 

[Farmfresh]

For me, a lack of using manners that have been properly taught, stems from a lack of respect, for both the inner self and the fellow man.
If you have never been taught respect, then no amount of instruction in manners will help, and visa-versa.