family lukewarm to SS

[THEFAN]

I am in the same boat. I have been fighting a up hill battle with my family for yrs. For the last 2 yrs I have worked on the de-programming method. Cut off modern crap or slowly dwindle it out of the family life. 6 yrs ago I did TV . we still have a Tv but only for movies and yes video games. Now that I have sold almost all the dvds. and videogames in the yard sale there's not much to play on them. The money went to better things too. New deck and animals for my little girl to take care of. The microwave was a hard one but is dueable. We don't have a dishwasher so the dishes are a family chore. I can go on and on with what tactica I use and my reasoning to justify changes we all must make in today's world. Better prepare for less now so when they are forced appon you they don't hurt so much or matter not.

 

[freemotion]

Being self-sufficient is not a hobby for many people, it is a lifestyle choice. The parents get to decide what the lifestyle will be for everyone living under their roof. They get to choose their own lifestyle when they take full responsibility for themselves....full responsibility. Until then, they should contribute.

Now, that doesn't mean being unreasonable. For example, I loved the animals the most of the three kids in my family. I ultimately traded chores with my city-wannabe sister so I had her barn chores and she had some of my indoor chores. That was absolutely fine with my parents....as long as we all contributed to the good of the family. Even my sister, who moved right to the heart of the city as soon as she could and stayed there ever since, has done a lot of little ss projects with her two city boy kids. They LOVE coming to Auntie's house!

Some things were not a choice, though. Like stacking wood or weeding a row of the garden....chores no one enjoyed. And as teens, whenever we had work outside the house (other than $10 here and there) we had to give 25% of it towards household expenses. Boy, did I hate that and think it was unfair! Now I laugh at myself.....imagine, handing over $25 for full room and board and thinking it was unfair!

 

[THEFAN]

Being self-sufficient is not a hobby for many people, it is a lifestyle choice. The parents get to decide what the lifestyle will be for everyone living under their roof. They get to choose their own lifestyle when they take full responsibility for themselves....full responsibility. Until then, they should contribute.

Now, that doesn't mean being unreasonable. For example, I loved the animals the most of the three kids in my family. I ultimately traded chores with my city-wannabe sister so I had her barn chores and she had some of my indoor chores. That was absolutely fine with my parents....as long as we all contributed to the good of the family. Even my sister, who moved right to the heart of the city as soon as she could and stayed there ever since, has done a lot of little ss projects with her two city boy kids. They LOVE coming to Auntie's house!

Some things were not a choice, though. Like stacking wood or weeding a row of the garden....chores no one enjoyed. And as teens, whenever we had work outside the house (other than $10 here and there) we had to give 25% of it towards household expenses. Boy, did I hate that and think it was unfair! Now I laugh at myself.....imagine, handing over $25 for full room and board and thinking it was unfair!

HERE HERE!! Parents get to decide LOVE IT!! That's right!!

 

[FarmerChick]

funny how households do things so different

my parents would never have us kids give our money to household expenses.

just such different ways of raising families are out there

it always amazes me what I read sometimes because all thru our family line no one would do this yet I know we do things that others would think strange or whatever LOL

it is cool to read it all tho.

 

[k0xxx]

I was lucky in that I got my wife interested when we were still young (we were married at 18). With all of the hurricanes down on the coast, it was easy to get her to see the need to prepare. Perhaps by using whichever potential natural disaster can be expected in your area, you can get them on board with preparing for that. Once you start preparing for a disaster, it's easy to segue (segway ) into other areas such as the looming financial crisis. If you ever get them to see the realities of a dollar crisis or hyperinflation, then the SS thing may just seem natural to them.

Don't try to rush them into it. You almost have to make them think that it's their idea. I started talking with my brother back in 2007 about the markets, the debt, and how it might play havoc with 401Ks and such. After a while, he started paying more attention, and the next thing that you know, he's buying metals. After several years of seeing how the dollar is tanking, and the metals are soaring, he starts asking me about gardening, chickens, and such. He gets it. Of course with older children, you may just have to go the "while you're under my roof" route. But if you can ease them into it... YMMV

 

[k15n1]

My DH is "supportive" of my SS undertakings as long as it doesn't involve him having to do any work or spend any money. In other words, he will eat the vegetables I grow, and the butter and home made bread I make. Putting up fencing for goats, getting a generator, digging a cellar--forget about it! I will be paying for the chicken coop he reluctantly built for me, for years, I am sure.
Petty personal stuff aside, I agree with previous posters who suggested that you just do what you gotta do. Now that you are into the SS lifestyle, it would be impossible to turn your back on it. Maybe your DW will one day become enlightened and come up with some ideas of her own.

I've always had a hard time lobbying for appropriation bills, too. But I've learned to make a good business case for what I want. And, frankly, I use my lunch money for a lot of my projects. When I have something working, I MAKE SURE IT LOOKS GOOD, and pitch it to The Wife.

But back to the main point, I mainly do SS stuff because it make me feel good inside. Even if no one else helps, I'd still do it.

(BTW, eating your vegetables is somewhat of a contribution. If they wouldn't eat them, you'd really be pissed.)

 

[OrganicKale]

funny how households do things so different

my parents would never have us kids give our money to household expenses.

just such different ways of raising families are out there

it always amazes me what I read sometimes because all thru our family line no one would do this yet I know we do things that others would think strange or whatever LOL

it is cool to read it all tho.

Well, I tend to agree with you. Even if I saw it as a lifestyle rather than a hobby, I don't expect anyone else to embrace it. I chose my life, my offspring chooses her own. I have never been one of those that expects my child to share the same religious beliefs, etc., either. She is her own person. She is not an extension of me. By the same token, I don't expect her to come to the office with me and sit in my cube and earn her keep. It just doesn't work that way with me.

Like you said, every family is different. It is interesting reading about all the differences.

 

[valmom]

It is neat reading these responses- as varied as why we all are here in the first place. We lived on a relative shoestring when the kids were growing up until I could finish my degree and get back to work. I bought my "farm" with my divorce settlement. My son didn't really like it, I suppose, since as soon as his father offered, he moved out to live with him and go to a private school. My daughter was sort of stuck with me since her father didn't really want her around- she was too much like him! (and, she wasn't the heir apparent- believe me, it bothered her a LOT). In her good moods, DD would help out with the horses and dogs which were the only animals we had then, but she learned to knit and crochet and cook, and what foods were healthy (even though she might eat other things that were not so), and really liked the thought of living greener. I like to think that has stuck with her, and when she's ready she will still have those values.

My SO- that's been a long road! It takes time and persistance and not actually moving them out of their comfort zone before they are ready. It took me 3 years to get rid of paper towels! It took 3 years to get chickens, and we only did then because a friend needed to re-home her adult chickens. It took 2 years to get bees, 4 years to get some fruit trees planted, 8 years to actuallly get her to make a "real" veggie garden (and she was bribed with a rototiller). My soap was an instant hit, though, as were my jams and maple syrup. Not so much the yogurt or kombucha- she thinks it will give her food poisoning, so I'm the only one who eats those. She still thinks I'm a little weird, but she accepts my trend towards doing things ourselves. The hurricaine up here last week made her admit that maybe stockpiling some foods we eat would be a good idea! I am going to buy (! because my tomatoes never grew this year) a couple of cases of her favorite tomatoes. Or several cases, because, you know, each type you have to get a whole case of- and we like about 3 or 4 different kinds

Keep at it for yourself- for healthy food, for a lighter footprint on the planet, and maybe you will be followed or maybe not. But it has to be mostly for you first.

 

[Wifezilla]

They get to choose their own lifestyle when they take full responsibility for themselves

Exactly! My youngest son, who we take care of even though he is an adult (22 - low functioning autism) doesn't have to like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, or unloading the dishwasher, but it is what he has to do to contribute to the household. No workie, no cable, video games or any of the other perks he enjoys.

 

[mrscoyote]

I feel like I am in an uphill battle some days too. Farm life is still new to us (retired military 27 yrs)and getting hubby or kids on board is not always easy. I am the impulsive one and DH is the one to research and think a topic to death before acting. So I just keep on with the baby steps and wait knowing it will come to be eventually.
Nancy