FarmerDenise's journal - full on harvest time = busy, busy, busy

[FarmerDenise]

I just bottled up my wine experiment. It turned out to be a lovely vinegar! I got 7 bottles.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

He told me, that because he is the man, I should be making him dinner and coffeeand do his bidding. And since this is his house, it is his rules.

EXCUSE ME?! Did his Mama drop him on his oversized head or what?!

First, NO WOMAN is ever to be a man's doormat....never never never never never EVER.

Second, maybe if he was treating you the way you deserve, you'd have the desire to make him dinner and bring him coffee.

As for doing his bidding, slavery was abolished! When two people come together in whatever union they have agreed to it doesn't mean one or the other stopped having a brain! you're still able to think and make decisions for yourself...You need not his permission, nor should he expect you to obey his "bidding". It's one thing to ask nicely of your SO to assist and/or do something, but that person still retains the right to REFUSE.

My DH would never in a million years even think of trying what your SO is doing

His reasoning? "I eat what she cooks!"

Seriously, my DH and I discuss things, make decisions together on things, but he rarely ever tells me to do something or makes demands of me (and on the few occassions he slips up, he finds out real fast the correct manner in which he should be approaching the situation!)

And no, I don't wear the pants here, we both do. We've a partnership, and we both give 100% into our relationship so that it works and so that we can stay together.

Your SO needs some relationship training!

eta: sorry for ranting! I hope I've not offended you!

 

[Beekissed]

Well, the last time I told the truth about a situation on BYC, I was scolded and told by Big Brother that I should have suggested counseling. I'm sorry, but I'm just not into the whole politically correct thing. I usually call it as I see it.....and I'm usually right on the money.

I do think SO needs to see a doc~sounds like he's had some mental status changes. But I also think his basic personality cannot be fixed with meds, from what I've read here. He sounds like the typical emotional, verbal abuser to me, FD.

I'm glad you are taking steps to get out on your own. Of course, he will be sweet for awhile and you will think he is going to do better....they always use this tactic and a woman's heart WANTS to believe them. We want to believe that, if we just love them enough, it will make enough love for both of us.

That never works. Sadly. :/

I will be praying that you are strong in your search for respect and love...especially from yourself. You are a GOOD woman. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise, huh?

 

[FarmerDenise]

Thanks for all your support.

 

[Beekissed]

Hoping you get the job..... Please, please, please.....

 

[Dace]

Good luck on the job!!

15 years is a lot of history, I hope that you guys can find a way to get him a medical eval. it woudl be a shame for a relationship that long to go down the toilet because of medical issues.

Med issues aside, if this is his basic personality then I support you exploring getting out on your own....no one should live under someone else's thumb!

 

[FarmerDenise]

On the farm front, I didn't get much done yesterday. None of the chickens layed any eggs. though several made noises as if they did :/
I did trim a bunch of dried basil (something that is easy to do while watching tv) and have a big jar of dried basil ready to use for gifts and cooking.
Now I better go and get back to do some farm work. I hope to can some pears and make some canned apple pie filling. I think keljonma posted the recipe.

 

[Beekissed]

Well, the last time I told the truth about a situation on BYC, I was scolded and told by Big Brother that I should have suggested counseling. I'm sorry, but I'm just not into the whole politically correct thing. I usually call it as I see it.....and I'm usually right on the money.

I do think SO needs to see a doc~sounds like he's had some mental status changes. But I also think his basic personality cannot be fixed with meds, from what I've read here. He sounds like the typical emotional, verbal abuser to me, FD.

I'm glad you are taking steps to get out on your own. Of course, he will be sweet for awhile and you will think he is going to do better....they always use this tactic and a woman's heart WANTS to believe them. We want to believe that, if we just love them enough, it will make enough love for both of us.

That never works. Sadly. :/

I will be praying that you are strong in your search for respect and love...especially from yourself. You are a GOOD woman. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise, huh?

I'm sorry, FD, if I came on a little strong on this post. I'm feeling pretty raw lately about how my mother is having to deal with my father, who sounds a lot like your SO. But he is NOT your SO, so I had no right to project onto your loved one. I'm very sorry and hope you will forgive me.

I have a habit of letting my heart write checks my mouth shouldn't cash.....

 

[FarmerDenise]

Bee, I did not take offense. I think what you said was appropriate and probably just what I would have told someone.

 

[dragonlaurel]

I was just catching up on journals and saw your recent situation.
I wish you luck and a clear head in this. You have a big heart. Remember to take time to care for you too. You deserve to be treated well. If you don't feel safe at any point - Do anything you have to to protect yourself. You matter.