FarmerJamie - A new beginning

[baymule]

Everyone, please understand I dearly love my wife and would not trade her for the world. Just venting here and looking for any coping tools.

I'll tell you this, my husband loved me unconditionally. No matter what, he adored me. From the first time he laid eyes on me, he was a goner. I sure didn't do anything to deserve all the adoration he heaped up on me, he just loved me and was all in. It mystified me how he could ignore my shortcomings and imperfections.

Likewise, I adored him. He took over the formal living room at our old house. He had so much crap in it, sometimes there was a trail to the objects he revered the most. LOL It didn't help that it was right at the front door and was an eyesore. But I guess I just did the same thing he did, we both kept our eyes on the prize and didn't let our not so great habits discolor our relationship.

He took over the back bedroom here, but I could close the door. The end table next to my recliner is usually stacked up with unread mail, last week's newspaper, and even I have to admit it gets pretty bad. I'd much rather go outside to play.

If you outlive your wife, those not so great habits will haunt you and you will do anything to have her back, leaving her unfinished messes behind her, everywhere she goes.

I have a tendency to get a lot of things started, then jump from one to another. Staying on track, working on ONE thing until it is completed, is boring to me. My husband sometimes complained when my direction was scattered to the 4 winds, but I asked him, "Are you bored?" His answer was no. LOL LOL "So what's the problem?" And we laughed.

So here is your coping skill; ignore it. When it gets to the level that something has to be done, do it or ask for her help in getting it restored back to some resemblance of order. Look at her piles of clutter with fondness, that is a part of her as much as anything else is. You love her, the whole person, and those piles of clutter just comes with her.

 

[FarmerJamie]

@baymule , thank you. I had been reading some old Facebook posts from 3 years ago when she had her heart attacks.

Thanks for the well meaning kick in the backside.

Puts it all in perspective

 

[flowerbug]

...
I have a tendency to get a lot of things started, then jump from one to another. Staying on track, working on ONE thing until it is completed, is boring to me.

i don't use the B-word around here. was trained from an early age to never use that word. what it meant was that you wanted more chores to do to keep busy. instead i always found ways to keep myself occupied. the many projects at once is same for me and out of sight is out of mind so they'll be out and around where i can see them. many at a time (also in my head too ). i've had some projects sitting out for years before i completed them. trails through, well it's not quite that bad in here but Mom rarely comes in my room further than a few steps. it's a bit narrow to get around the futon and to the other side and there's a cord you have to step over ... and... yes, yes, close the door please before getting it into your head that you want to clean or move anything. i'll give anyone the biggest stink eye possble (like LOTR sized stink eye) if they even hint at wanting to move anything in here.

My husband sometimes complained when my direction was scattered to the 4 winds, but I asked him, "Are you bored?" His answer was no. LOL LOL "So what's the problem?" And we laughed.

 

[CrealCritter]

We have 6 car window ice scrapers...and one car.

I managed to get the kitchen table 50% cleared off Monday. Completely covered again. Adult ADHD plays into this for the wife. Sets something down mid task and forgets about it completely.

Everyone, please understand I dearly love my wife and would not trade her for the world. Just venting here and looking for any coping tools.

I feel a song coming on, yep... I do.

 

[Mini Horses]

Every room in the house is destroyed, except one. Sofa, chairs, kitchen table, countertops-all covered. Driving me nuts.

have a tendency to get a lot of things started, then jump from one to another. Staying on track, working on ONE thing until it is completed, is

i've had some projects sitting out for years before i completed them.

All of this. ALL. Now, you would think it would NOT be so as the job I have is to perform perfect store resets!!! I need to set my house up as a few job days!

I've looked at the problem, made some improvements....but, when I get home from a day at work, chores are waiting. Those done, I'm pretty well ready for a sit down. It takes a few days at home to accomplish much. Two weeks off would be perfect and don't see that for another month. Would make a huge dent into what's needed....been sorting, boxing and piling. Im working on clear outs. Need to haul off to trash and donate places. Today some to trash will happen...to empty truck bed, to pick up feed.

One thing just leads to another. I'm going to work one room at a time.

 

[flowerbug]

...
One thing just leads to another. I'm going to work one room at a time.

that is how gardening projects often go around here. you start one and it leads to a dozen more.

in my room i'll spot clean small areas and i've gotten rid of a lot of stuff that used to take up space. like i can now dust under the extra futon/couch with only one small box being in the way and i can see the backs of some shelves in my closets and i have two whole shelves on the bookcases cleared out. progress has happened... just not very fast...

 

[FarmerJamie]

This about sums up the home hunting. House is really spectacular, and then the lot....

 

[flowerbug]

This about sums up the home hunting. House is really spectacular, and then the lot....

that's a prime example of when a lot should be called a little.

 

[tortoise]

How do you feel about raising ducks?

 

[baymule]

That road in the background appears to be higher than the house. Escape route?