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FarmerJamie
Mr. Sensitive
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@Finnie you nailed it.You are right to not yell or bark orders. For me that only causes me to go into defensive mode, to protect myself and my stuff. (And my hopes and my dreams? Because my “stuff” is there because I hope and dream to use it one day?)
The fact that she mentions that things are “worth something” could be stemming from having/having had a tight budget. Knowing that some needs are hard to acquire both because of the financial aspect and also the time needed to shop. So keeping a supply of “everything you might ever need” is a source of security. And getting rid of perfectly good stuff is a waste.
I have been on both sides of this. I don’t like my DH to disparage my things and try to make me throw it all out. But, when I had to travel to Florida to help my mom move back to Michigan, there was so much dumb stuff that I just wanted to make her throw away. Two of my daughters and I made that trip, and I saw just how difficult it is for descendants to have to sort through an old person’s house. I resolved then and there to voluntarily pare down my possessions while I’m still alive to make it easier on anybody who has to help me when I’m old or dead. But that’s not something you can make someone else decide.
And, it has to be balanced with the fact that I’m not ancient yet and I do still need/want a fair amount of possessions and equipment.
I know it’s hard to be patient, but I would say things are a lot easier for my husband when he takes the gentle approach to getting me to help clean out areas, rather than when he used to just get a bee in his bonnet to clean something and get mad cuz my junk piles were in his way. And that would put a panic feeling in my heart and then I would get super mad because he was “always against me”. (Which wasn’t true, but when you get that feeling, every past argument comes rushing back and blocks your perspective.)
She grew up with very little money. Was fed, clothed, housed, but not much extra, so a little bit hoarder tendency. We're not rich, but comfortable. Danger is, instead of purchasing minimum, we get "extra". We struggle with that.
I am trying to consolidate stuff into similar groupings (like Christmas decorations, tools, bedding, etc) will make final sorting easier later.
I have my stuff to continue to go through, very much so.
I don't like having garage/yard sales any more. Too much opportunity for someone to case the place or even work in a team to distract and rob you.