FarmerJamie - A new beginning

FarmerJamie

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You are right to not yell or bark orders. For me that only causes me to go into defensive mode, to protect myself and my stuff. (And my hopes and my dreams? Because my “stuff” is there because I hope and dream to use it one day?)

The fact that she mentions that things are “worth something” could be stemming from having/having had a tight budget. Knowing that some needs are hard to acquire both because of the financial aspect and also the time needed to shop. So keeping a supply of “everything you might ever need” is a source of security. And getting rid of perfectly good stuff is a waste.

I have been on both sides of this. I don’t like my DH to disparage my things and try to make me throw it all out. But, when I had to travel to Florida to help my mom move back to Michigan, there was so much dumb stuff that I just wanted to make her throw away. Two of my daughters and I made that trip, and I saw just how difficult it is for descendants to have to sort through an old person’s house. I resolved then and there to voluntarily pare down my possessions while I’m still alive to make it easier on anybody who has to help me when I’m old or dead. But that’s not something you can make someone else decide.

And, it has to be balanced with the fact that I’m not ancient yet and I do still need/want a fair amount of possessions and equipment.

I know it’s hard to be patient, but I would say things are a lot easier for my husband when he takes the gentle approach to getting me to help clean out areas, rather than when he used to just get a bee in his bonnet to clean something and get mad cuz my junk piles were in his way. And that would put a panic feeling in my heart and then I would get super mad because he was “always against me”. (Which wasn’t true, but when you get that feeling, every past argument comes rushing back and blocks your perspective.)
@Finnie you nailed it.

She grew up with very little money. Was fed, clothed, housed, but not much extra, so a little bit hoarder tendency. We're not rich, but comfortable. Danger is, instead of purchasing minimum, we get "extra". We struggle with that.

I am trying to consolidate stuff into similar groupings (like Christmas decorations, tools, bedding, etc) will make final sorting easier later.

I have my stuff to continue to go through, very much so.

I don't like having garage/yard sales any more. Too much opportunity for someone to case the place or even work in a team to distract and rob you.
 

tortoise

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Umm, she had a whole room in the previous place and one now. Filled with stuff not used in over over three years.
oh I feel this one. Stuff not used in years. I wasn't able to use it. Giving up the stuff would have been like giving up hope that I would be healthy or just functional someday.
 

Finnie

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oh I feel this one. Stuff not used in years. I wasn't able to use it. Giving up the stuff would have been like giving up hope that I would be healthy or just functional someday.
This.

Has anybody else noticed that the older you get, the faster a year goes by? Can you believe it’s been four (FOUR!) years since the Covid lockdown?

There are certain things I do at specific times of the year. If it’s a spring thing, and I’m too busy that spring, well, I guess I’ll shoot for next year. So there goes a year of not touching that box.

But yeah, I have a lot of things I hope I can get to before I get too old to be capable.
 

FarmerJamie

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This.

Has anybody else noticed that the older you get, the faster a year goes by? Can you believe it’s been four (FOUR!) years since the Covid lockdown?

There are certain things I do at specific times of the year. If it’s a spring thing, and I’m too busy that spring, well, I guess I’ll shoot for next year. So there goes a year of not touching that box.

But yeah, I have a lot of things I hope I can get to before I get too old to be capable.
As a much younger adult, it was explained to me by an older coworker. It's like an hourglass. The sand falls at a constant rate, it's the distribution of the sand that changes our perspective
 

flowerbug

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i'm certainly territorial and don't want anyone moving my stuff around - that surely gets my back up.

i wonder if the chair just just a bit dirty and perhas mildewed? a bleach wipe may help, but some materials don't do great with bleach.

if something may be useful i have a hard time getting rid of it, especially if it would cost me to replace it if i found out later i could use it afterall. it may look like junk, but sometimes that junk is very handy (looking at some guitar strings that could be used for something...).
 
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Simpleterrier

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Right know if I don't touch it in 6 months it is gone. We will be moving and I'm not moving junk.
Every week or two there is a load for goodwill. I opened my tool drawers the other day and 90% of it went in five gallon buckets for my nephews. We have gotten rid of given away and sold lots of stuff. Guess what I don't miss any of it or evy look for it. Really how many screw drivers do u need? Same with kitchen stuff we have no up cabinets we have 3 floating shelves if it starts to look trashy then stuff starts going to good will.
I know this don't help your situation. But I let my wife make her own calls on what to keep and get rid of and she's been getting rid of more than me
 
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