From the Outside Looking in

[DrakeMaiden]

The way you juxtapose the political campaign stuff (for lack of a nice word ) with the outspoken attitudes and opinions of some . . . leads me to the conclusion that what is offending you is the "wedge issue" stuff.

I agree and think it is really somewhat childish, but that is how politicians work the American psyche. They want our opinions to isolate us from each other. They want to keep us separate and hating each other and feeling morally superior. That is how they limit our potential to come together and work together for the greater good.

Are you going to let that mentality win?

Opinions are like . . . um, butt cracks. Right? Just 'cus you have one doesn't mean I want to see it. But if you put it out there, I'm just going to be polite and pretend I can't see it. (That's just how I deal with it, doesn't mean it is how everyone will deal with it).

 

[Dace]

I usually feel like I am sort of drifting around the edge of a group where I don't really belong.

You and me both. I wonder if maybe everyone feels like this to an extent?

That describes me

I float along the edges picking up whatever knowledge I can. I do not reply to a lot of posts because I am not as far down the SS path as many here are so I have little to offer. BUT I do enjoy the company here!

 

[FarmerChick]

what is far down the SS path? It is going to mean something different to everyone.

being a farmer, I relate well to farmer type people with alot of land and alot of animals...it is what I do.

I can talk big tractors and baling my own hay and such....others don't own that type of thing. I can talk processing hogs, others don't do this sort of thing......I can't talk about sewing, hardly about crafts, about teenager type situations, about skinning a deer cause I never did it, about building anything solar cause I never did it, about divorce cause I never did it, about alot of topics but that doesn't make me feel like an outsider at all.

others who have less land and might do raised garden beds and smaller gardens and such can relate to each other. Some threads are about raised beds, I don't do them....doesn't mean I don't want to read about it cause I learn.

I can't sew on a button. I can't do crafts well. I didn't respond to a few threads cause I don't do those things.


everyone must remember one thing.....no one is an outsider and it isn't a competition to see who can can more chicken, freeze more meat, stack more wood, etc. etc.

everyone has their level of SS---and it should be their level and no one elses..but even if 1 acre of land and wanting more SS in your life, then reading about how others do it for themselves is a great thing to learn. I have learned great tips with someone owing only an acre..LOL. Less land and less "farm" type situation doesn't mean your value with SS is less ever.

It is never one size fits all. It can not be!

just rambling again...fun to chat about this stuff.....I feel bad that people might be feeling bad!

 

[patandchickens]

I usually feel like I am sort of drifting around the edge of a group where I don't really belong.

You and me both. I wonder if maybe everyone feels like this to an extent?

That is a really good point. I would bet money (well, on this group it would probably be more meaningful to bet canning lids or 5 gallon buckets vacuum-packed with dried beans ) that you are right, poppycat. The extent will differ among people I'm sure, and everyone will have their own personal ways in which they don't feel like they quite belong, but overall, I think you have it nailed.

Life's fun anyhow. Despite not quite always belonging. Sometimes *because* of it, in fact

Pat

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Actually, you hit the nail on the head Pat, life is more fun when you don't belong! JMO.

 

[Dace]

what is far down the SS path? It is going to mean something different to everyone.

everyone has their level of SS---and it should be their level and no one elses..but even if 1 acre of land and wanting more SS in your life, then reading about how others do it for themselves is a great thing to learn. I have learned great tips with someone owing only an acre..LOL. Less land and less "farm" type situation doesn't mean your value with SS is less ever.

It is never one size fits all. It can not be!

Karen, you make very good points. I guess that even though I am new to a lot of these ideas, this is why I am so comfortable here because even though I feel as if I am on the outer fringes (due to personal experience) I always felt welcome and that we all share a kindred spirit to do things our own way.
Thank you for the good reminder that we all choose our own path and how far down that path we want to travel ...all efforts are respected

 

[FarmerChick]

all efforts are respected


***You said it all right there Dace!

 

[miss_thenorth]

I'm sorry you feel this way too. In all honesty, though, ppl take what they want from forums some ppl interact an awful lot, others not so much. So for the ppl who interact alot, it feels like family to them. Sometimes some ppl have no one else with which to interact with -on a certain level- so if they find something here, it feels like family-aka kindred spirits.

I haven't started a journal, and in all honesty I don't read alot of them b/c I have alot of other stuff that requires my time. Sometimes that might make me feel like an outsider, but that's ok with me.

I shouldn't have to read other people's views on abortion, particularly when they're phrased in such a way as to say all other views are wrong and or ridiculous

You're right, you shouldn't have to, and no one is forcing you to. There are a number of threads which I stopped reading, simply b/c it wasn't in my or anyone elses best interest for me to read or post. And as far as the american politics, I can't offer any input being Canadian, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. I also enjoy reading debates on religion, as long as they are kept RESPECTFUL as opposed to bashing one's belief system, be it Christian or other.

I guess what I am trying to say--is you can't please everyone, take from this site what you can, leave the rest.

Ppl come here to talk about their lives, and sometimes controversial things are happening in ppls lives that aften get discussed.

Threads sometimes have a habit of going off topic, but for the most part--unless it goes WAY off, I enjoy the freedom of being able to stray a bit.

these are my opinions and views, I'm just expressing them like you did. I for one love the diversity and the likemindedness of this group. Diversity-b/c everyone is different, --backgrounds, upbringing, religious views, economic status, geographical locations, city or country, working or not, etc etc etc. Likemindedness b/c we all have the same simple lifestyle desires.

I just feel like if someone doesn't step up and point out that there are others who are interested in self-suffiency and may possibly like to be more involved in this forum, but may stand back, and not get involved because they feel initially put off. People we could all learn a lot from, then it's a loss to this growing community.

I can't honestly think of anything that has gone on here that might put someone off.

My point is, this place is new. There's a chance to make this place as open and as friendly as possible. I really hope that you do. I think it's too late for me. I'm just too burnt out.

This statement also has me scratching my head. How have we NOT made it open and friendly for everyone?

I must be missing something.

Again, I am sorry you feel this way, and I hope you feel like contributing so that you don't feel like your an outsider. Other than that I don't know what else to say...

 

[k0xxx]

As long as the posts are thoughtful and respectful, just acknowledge that there are many different people here and thus, many different opinions.

Sure, we may stray off topic, we may express our political, social and religious opinions at times, but that's just what they are, opinions. It shouldn't make you feel bad or slighted because an opinion is different than yours, as long as that opinion is stated in a way that is not meant to be hurtful. I'm, sure that any posts that are intentionally hurtful would be dealt with by the moderators in short order.

I don't feel that this group is my family. I do however, think of this group as friends that happen to be interested in a common subject, self sufficiency.

To be honest, I enjoy the fact that a group that is so diverse and of so many different opinions, can state their opinions and still get along so well. I am never offended when someone believes differently that I do, if I were, I would be offended every day of my life.

 

[enjoy the ride]

This thread reminds me of a high school pool party- Somebody jumps in with all their clothes on - you stand there watching, thinking "how stupid" and then someone else decides it looks like fun, then another and another. So there you are- looking at people having fun doing something you think is silly- but it's lonely where you are standing so superior to it all.
So eventually you decide -yes or no. If yes, you might have some fun you didn't expect or you might regret ruining your good dress. But no means being left out and feeling vaguely dissatisified- you might feel superior to the fools having fun in the water but that is hard ever really something that will make you happy.
So into the pool I go-

Some people are jerks, many are too easily offended- some think that junior high never ends and it's all about putting people down so you feel better, some are plain dumb or painfully awkward- and most people are some of all that various times. That is the way it is- social interaction is full of rubs and bumps with other people til the herd order is somewhat resolved. And in a place that has new people coming in all the time, those bumps and rubs keep going.......
And sometimes, much less frequently, you get what you really want and need. I remember when my Mom died, and the people at work sent cards and the office social group bought something or another for me- I felt better. I know that some of these condolances where not sincere and that some of these people sincerely did not like me- it didn't matter- I needed all the contact I could get at that time and I kept those cards for some time.
But that is what we are as humans and, I think, especially people who post on forums. It helps to rememberit's not all about me.

Oh and by the way- thank you to the person who posted about using a spray bottle with dish soap diluted in water- I'm doing that and it has made a real difference in my life- dishwashing is a lot easier.