From the Outside Looking in

[curly_kate]

Wow, what a deep thread! It's interesting how many of us have that common feeling of being "outsiders." I'm pretty new to this site (and the whole message board posting thing in general), and it seems like some of you 'oldies' are pretty close-knit, but I've never felt like my posts were ignored or derided.

One of the things I like about this site is learning about people who are very different than me. It makes me think more about what I believe, and broadens my perspective. But there have been some posts that have gotten to be too much for me, so I just bow out & quit reading them. No harm, no foul. I like the fact that everyone is free to voice their opinion, and people almost always keep it respectful (although I can detect some gritted teeth every once in a while!)

 

[user251]

Ive only been here a little while, I came here because the BYC site was getting so catty and full of . When i first came over it was a breath of fresh air. This site not so long ago was about self sufficiency but during this election time as expected it has gotten politically opinionated and im guilty as well. So I have recently began to ask myself before posting, what does this have to do with being self sufficient? this has stopped me from replying to some posts. I also think that some people seem to wear their feelings on their sleeves and if anyone says something that disagrees with someone elses ideas and beliefs they go defensive. Chill out take a deep breath and realize that's what makes America a democracy. I don't know if i belong here as i have such strong opinions and struggle to hold my tongue sometimes but y'all have to remember im a southern Baptist and a country redneck a lethal dose of consertiveism P.S. (RANT while im here) these dang journals are driving me crazy to much reading for a dyslexic fella to go through.

 

[enjoy the ride]

I'm very conflicted over those journals too- if I don't look at them, I feel out of the loop. But looking at them costs so much time that does not give me more info- and I do resent the way new ideas have sort of dropped off as the journals iincrease.
I just decided it is not for me to sqwauk about how others chose to use their time- they should do it if it suits them. I'm hoping that they will fade a bit as time goes on.
I just hope it doesn't lead to a buddy system that excludes those not of a chatty inclination.

For an example- I really loved those ant costumes that Pat put in her post but normally would not have looked in her journal. I think it would have been better to have a costume thread so that others could see these clever ideas straight out.

 

[the simple life]

I think part of the problem here is that there is very little self sufficiency posting going on.
There are alot of personal posts being made that have nothing at all to do with being self sufficient.
It has turned into more of a friendship, coffee talk type of forum, or a place for someone to chat about their personal lives etc. I don't know, can't put my finger on it.
I mean its one thing to share bits and pieces of personal stuff that is important to someone, but sometimes its a bit much.
If you go back to the first month or so of this forum and read the threads it was great, it was focused and informative.
Go back and look at the topics posted now, what the threads have been about the last month or so.
I can see how she would feel like an outsider if she doesn't want to get involved with everyone's personal business.
If you look at alot of the threads posted today, how much of them have anything to do what the premise of this forum is?
If someone comes on here today and wants to get involved but everything is about politics, someone else's experience with their family or friends , personal issues etc.
where does that leave them to be involved?
I found that I have not been checking this site much myself . I don't mean to be offensive, its just that I couldn't find any good pertinent info that I wanted.
I only have so much time in the day to be on here and I don't have the time to read everyone's journals.
I have been looking forward to info that I thought would be posted about people preparing for winter, winter recipes, storing food for the winter etc.
There has been nothing like that. Its pages of personal stuff.
I shoot over here and scan the new threads and maybe one or two is about self sufficiency.
Not to be mean or anything, I just can't find anything about self sufficency so I don't bother coming here as much. I like everyone here and its nothing personal, just that I want to be more self sufficient and need info to help me do that so I found I was losing interest.
If a new person comes on here and checks out some of these threads and all these journals its going to appear clique.Its been a natural progression for us, but picture what it would feel like to just join this forum.
This is where someone is going to feel left out.
The reason why this site was developed was for people who are interested in self sufficency to come here and learn from each other, so for the most part that is why people joined, its the kind of people this site is going to attract.
Then people that are self sufficient minded join and I would assume feel like an outsider because 95 percent of the threads and conversations are about other things.
Maybe they can't get involved in the kind of stuff that is being brought up and being made to feel like an outsider.

I am always dumbfounded when I check out this site and someone is posting about politics or what is going on with this or that in the news.
Why start a thread like that? Its divisive and irrelvant to the sufficency topics.
That has nothing to do with the premise of this group and is sure to cause problems.

I have been trying to look at this from the poster's point of view,
She said:
just feel like if someone doesn't step up and point out that there are others who are interested in self-suffiency and may possibly like to be more involved in this forum, but may stand back, and not get involved because they feel initially put off. People we could all learn a lot from, then it's a loss to this growing community.

and I think what she is saying is what I have been trying to explain in my post, people are put off by the personal conversations that go on here because they don't know the members and its hard to jump in, especially if its some kind of heated political debate or something like that.
I do believe there are not enough topics that relate to self sufficiency that would be open to all, like if someone just joined today and wanted to get in on a thread.
There should be more generic type topics they can get in on that have nothing to do with politics, religion or someone's personal problems or their journals.
I think its great that there are so many friendships formed on here and people should be able to share bits and pieces of their lives, maybe we just need to be more balanced in our posts so people do not feel shut out.

 

[the simple life]

I just did a quick look at the list of open threads.
There are 30
8 of them are people's journals
8 of them have something to do with SS or are recipes
14 of them are personal threads or musings.
I feel like the member titles that people are tossing around need to be well thought out.
I think they will upset some people.
Everyone here is trying to become more self sufficient and some people who join may not want to be labeled with some title at the bottom of the totem pole.
What if they can only do so much in terms of self suffiency due to some kind of limitations but are happy with what they have been trying to accomplish and then they get stuck with some title that may be insulting to them.
They might think they are doing great and be proud of themselves then they join here and get labled with something like greenhorn or whatever else is being tossed about.
We may think its funny and its just a stepping stone that will change, but maybe thats where they will always be.
I don't want this to be some kind of competition either.
I just think that should be kept in the back of everyone's mind when titles are being discussed.
We do not want to alienate anyone.

 

[dacjohns]

I want to say something but I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts to gel. Open topics versus active topics. I don't thing we have any closed or locked threads here so I assume that open means active.

About the time I was attempting to write this there were more nonmembers than members on the forum. What does that mean? I'm not sure except that the visitors may get bogged down while trying to find topics pertaining to self sufficiency because of all the more recent social threads.

I like some of the social threads, learning about other people, but I don't really like the political threads. I like threads to stay on topic. There was a thread a few weeks ago that had a title that interested me but after a couple of days the topic completely changed. Every time I opened the thread the posts were about something unrelated.

We all got excited about the journals and I have had some pretty good conversations on them but they almost took over the forum.

So what is all this end of the day rambling about? I agree with most of the posts, especially the original post. Let's not get carried away with other than self sufficiency. New members are looking for knowledge and probably have something to share with us but we have to attract them with other than what we did today.

If I stepped on any toes I apologize in advance.

 

[the simple life]

That is pretty much what I was trying to but couldn't really get my thoughts together. I think this is a very valid point here and really does need to be addressed.

 

[shareneh]

I know exactly how Farm_Mom feels. At first I loved this forum. I couldn't wait to read what everyone else was doing. I didn't contribute a whole lot because usually my questions were answered on the thread. I felt like I really fit in.

Then one day everyone was agreeing with someone who didn't agree with me. I didn't know this at first but as I was reading I came to feel like I was being personally pushed out of the group on that thread.

I didn't know what to do, I liked this forum, I wanted to learn more and contribute what I could. I started just looking to see what was being said before I would log on. I still wanted to be part of the forum but I didn't want anyone to see me there because I was embarassed of what they thought of me.

Now, I mostly just post if it's about self sufficient stuff I know about. I don't feel like part of the group and I don't expect to be accepted any time soon. I do appreciate all the hints, tips and general knowledge I can gather from the forum.

I have never looked at anyone's journal on here either because I don't feel like I am included to that extent.

Don't get me wrong, I like everyone, and again, I appreciate all of the contributors. I just feel that Farm_Mom has a point and I have been feeling that for a while myself.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

So is everyone wanting us to keep out the personal stuff and ONLY post if it pertains to being self sufficient?

My DH and I aren't near as self sufficient as we would like to be, and not everything we do in a day is working towards the SS goal. Some of what we do is just so we can get through the day. Should we not share those kind of things here?

 

[FarmerChick]

yes you should be able to share those things Quail

Heck I farm and want to share other things instead of just SS stuff

that is why I keep most in my journal but I throw threads out there about other stuff also

There is NO wrong way or RIGHT way to handle a forum---if it is related to our life then it is fair game to me..LOL