Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

She did really well today even back on her regular dose. Maybe she's finally settling in and feeling more comfortable here. Now, if she'd just stop following me around the house asking me if she can help, lol. I've been telling her to take it easy. She's got a very sore arm from pulling on dad - so I told her if she didn't rest that arm I was going to put her in a sling.

Most of our roads are open again... just a couple places where there is still water...in fact there's still water in some homes from the release of water from a reservoir...but things are getting better every day. Now - if they'd just get the houses repaired!!

 

[tortoise]

Awww, I feel for your mom. Put that arm in a sling and set her to work doing something.

Reading your story with your parents has me seriously considering harassing my parents to start working with a personal trainer or physical therapist. They've never been active people, and clearly things start going downhill fast. I've been on the downhill fast path because my health has left me nearly bedridden in the recent past. it's hard to regain strength after much of it is gone!

 

[baymule]

I have a load of blue jeans in the dryer now......I'll have to get a pair out to wear tomorrow..... When we were building fence this summer, I just dug out what I needed from the dryer each day.

My sister and BIL bought a travel trailer to live in while their house gets remodeled. She is on the phone with all the powers that be, holding her life in the balance, wrangling with all the paperwork, red tape, incompetence and flat out idiots. People without her bull dog tenacity will just be SOL and looking at a effed up home for a looooong time. It is a lot of work to put it all back together.

FEM, my mother never took prescriptions. When I finally had to put her in a home, they loaded her up. I believe in making a person comfortable, but not trying to "save" their life with gobs of pills.

 

[milkmansdaughter]

Thanks all, I think we'll be fine. Irma seems to be losing steam quickly now that it act hit land. We're expecting some wind and rain but should be fine. Early this morning they thought it might go straight up the gulf.

FEM, everyone wants to feel like they have a purpose, and like they're making a difference. Maybe you can give your mom some jobs like folding clothes. Let her dust. Or sweep. Or give her a spray bottle (it can be clear water if you want) and a roll of paper towels and let her "clean" cupboards or windows. Let her know how much you appreciate her help and that you enjoy having her there. It will help her and those are probably things that you don't really have time for anyway. In the middle of the long exhausting days and the long nights, the extra laundry, and the changing routines, and all the new worries and doctors appointments is the realization that even through the hurricane, you still have them with you, alive, and fairly well. All too soon, you'll be looking back on this time. It's exhausting, but can be one of the most rewarding times also. Don't forget to ask lots of questions. Their memory won't get better. Let them talk about their childhood. Once they're gone, you lose that chance to find out more about them... And about yourself when you were younger.
It'd be good if you can ask your parents to help you with simple things even if it's faster and easier to do it yourself. Are there any little things you can ask your dad to give his opinion on? Can he open a jar for you once in a while? It'll make them feel better and is actually good for your parents to be busy. And those routine kind of jobs tend to be easy for people to do even when they have memory issues.

Regarding the meds: could she have been overdosing? It's common for people to forget if they took their meds and not take them or take them more often than needed, even if they are in a pill box. Without a job or routine, it's very easy to lose track of days. And I agree, it's hard for doctors to know what's going on with patients sometimes. If no one comes in to say how someone's behavior has changed, there's no way for them to know a change needs to be made. When we talked to my mom's dr, she was very much on board for reducing/changing meds. Also my mom is awful to take to the dr because she doesn't want to "bother" the dr and won't tell the dr what's really going on or only says things that sound good. She'll flat out lie to the dr about what she eats or if she exercises or about whether she's having problems and then lies to us about what the dr tells her. Also because of the way healthcare is right now, especially with Medicare patients, the drs often change. Mom has had like 5 different doctors now in less than 2 1/2 years. I've found this to be the case with many if any clients. Now we make sure she never goes to the dr alone. A second pair if ears really helps. I'm pretty sure I'll be worse... I'm already warning my kids. I can't even remember to take a vitamin every day, much less a whole regimen of pills...
Hugs to you and to your brother as you deal with the houses and business, your parent's health, plus all if your regular routines, and DH's eyesight. You've got a lot on your plate right now.

 

[Mini Horses]

One more thing -- this is new situation and you feel temporary but, never know. So I can tell you with certainty ---

YOU NEED to plan now for some "away time". No, work does not count. No, time in barn & pasture does not count (although it MAY be some of he best!)

The demand on your time & emotions build before you know it and you NEED to have some away time. Perhaps your DD or DS could come stay a weekend now & then, at least every quarter, to give you a chance to leave ALL OF IT. Even if you just trade houses for Sat morn until Sun night. The change of pace & total location will give you a chance to regenerate. Plus, it will give the others time to understand why YOU have changed.

Yes, let mom dust!! Fold clothes (my mom loved this one). I found that the books with the word search puzzles were great for first couple years, then mom could no longer comprehend. Just busy work, nothing complicated.

 

[sumi]

You got some wonderful advice from milkmandaughter and now Mini Horses. All I can add is a huge

 

[NH Homesteader]

X2 to that!

Most antipsychotic and antidepressant medications accumulate in the system, so if you miss a day it shouldn't make a drastic difference. There are some that do, but not most. I've worked with kids on pretty much every psychiatric med that exists. They can do some weird stuff to people.

Agreed on giving your mom something to do. Maybe even dad too. Makes them feel not like a burden but like they're helping too. My step-grandfather had serious physical limitations so he got jobs like peeling potatoes. But boy did he take his potato peeling seriously!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Most antipsychotic and antidepressant medications accumulate in the system, so if you miss a day it shouldn't make a drastic difference.

Good to know!

And "YES" great advice from those of you who have been there, done that! Thanks!

I wish I could give them jobs...Dad can't stand un-aided. His hands tremble and he can barely hold a glass or a fork. And - he doesn't really want to do anything, lol! What he enjoys doing is telling stories. So - we listen. He can't hear our responses, but he's getting better at lip reading and sign language. At times we just write things down for him so he knows we're paying attention.

Mom trembles too. She can't brush her own hair very well. She tried sweeping the back porch Saturday and ended up hurting her arm even more to the point of nearly being in tears. She does fold kitchen towels, sets the table (with paper plates - real plates would be too heavy for her) and wipes it off after dinner.

The things she asks to help with are....unloading feed, feeding the hogs, and mowing the lawn. These are things she's NEVER done and would have never ever thought of doing ever in life, lol. This is a woman who has never pumped her own gas or ever emptied a trash can, lol. Can you say DIVA?!!!

Mostly I'm not asking, or letting, her do much of anything because she needs that arm to heal if/when they ever move out. She had a shoulder replacement some years back - but she can't remember which arm it was. I need to look for scars. If it's that same shoulder, (and I think it is because she's right handed and it's her right arm that hurts), we need to be extra careful with it.

Mostly she follows us around because she's just a wee bit nosy, lol! She has a hard time not being the center of attention and wants to know every word that every person says. My mother has always loved having secrets and thinks the rest of the world is that way too. But, it's ok - she's always been that way! It does make me smile to see that she's still true to form!

Talked to my brother briefly. FEMA has still not been to the parents house....grrrr! This is going to be such a long process. He did talk about taking mom and dad back to his house when he and sis-in-law are a little more settled in their own house. I dunno though - he and dad fight like little kids and that's not ok. People! I guess that's why I like goats and pigs!

I spoke with my elderly aunt today. She and her two adult children, who still live with her, flooded also. They decided to buy a camper trailer to park in their driveway for the renovations. Good idea, but...

Problem #1: They don't have a truck to pull it with.
Problem #2: Can't get it into the neighborhood because of all the housing debris lining the roadways.

They've found someone who will tow it for them, but they're still waiting for the heavy trash pick-up to clear the streets.

I've kinda shelved the idea of breeding any goats this year. BUT, I have one tiny little pygmy buck that keeps walking through the panels on the fence. If he can reach anybody - more power to him, lol! Go Chester!!

 

[NH Homesteader]

I'm sorry but the name Chester really creeps me out, lol! Go him though! Probably not breeding would be a good plan. Because you have nothing else going on... Right?

Aw your mom, yeah sure you can unload the grain. Why not?

 

[frustratedearthmother]

He got named Chester after a character on some old Western series. The character, named Chester of course, walked with a limp.

When this little guy came into the world I had to pull him...and pull him hard. He had a real hard time getting around and limped badly for awhile. Sooooo, DH named him Chester and because I have a hard time coming up with names...I let it stick!