Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[baymule]

Now all he needs is a leopard printed speedo to go with his flashy new collar. LOL

Take all the help you can get with your mom.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Aww he's so handsome, even with his slightly girly, kinda ugly collar. Lol!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Aww he's so handsome, even with his slightly girly, kinda ugly collar. Lol!

It really is....ummm....uhhhhh....unique? LOL I think he's shamed because he hasn't even tried to get out since yesterday. Actually though, I think it's because he's dragging the remnants of a cable I tried to confine him with. A cable that he chewed through. Maybe that's all we needed was to have him drag a chain/cable? Too late now - I spent a chunk of change on this new electric set-up that should be delivered tomorrow.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Guess he got over the shame of the ugly collar and was out...greeting me at the front door this morning. He just has this misguided idea that he needs to be able to guard not only this place but the neighbors on both sides. He never really goes anywhere but these three places. The three places together cover 10 acres....guess he thinks that's his space. But - fence charger should be here today. No idea when I'll be able to actually get it operational. I can't leave the house for more than 5 minutes at a time...

I'm going to go ahead and let them send out hospice. If for nothing more than some new ideas on how to make things easier for mom. She had the worst day ever yesterday. Tried to go pee in the trashcan under the kitchen cabinet. Tried to pull her pants down before sitting on the sofa. I keep the alarm set on her door so that I hear when they come out of their room...but if the door doesn't get shut back it won't alarm. I obviously slept through an alarm somewhere around 4 - 4:30 this morning. I can guestimate the time because I was up at 3:30 with dad and when I got up at 5:30 there was new evidence that she had rummaged through the kitchen drawers and left kitchen implements on the counter top. She had taken the tasseled curtain tie-back off the curtain and twisted it and twisted it until it is misshapen and ruined. I found a hoodie that I had left hanging by the front door on the dining room table with the only knife that I missed putting away left on top of it. Thankfully, it wasn't a pointy knife...it was more like a butter knife...or I might have had a shredded jacket this morning.

Late last night dad started yelling that he couldn't sleep in the bed. DH and I went out and found him tossing all the blankets on the floor. The bed was full of potato chips... I told him he couldn't bring food into the bed and he blew up at me..."I did NOT bring food in the bed" ...he was PISSED. So was I. What is particularly frustrating is that all communication with him was done with me writing and him yelling, lol. I wrote that the potato chip crumbs were in the bed - on his side - and I showed him some. Well, his tune changed totally...he was sorry, he'll never do it again. DH and I brushed the crumbs out and re-made the bed. Went out this morning dad only had a sheet, mom had one blanket and the other one was on the floor - along with her diaper.

I hate this disease! So unfair.

Not going to be able to do any Christmas family stuff so I'm gonna try to find a few things online to send to the grandkids and then hopefully have a belated celebration in a few months.

I need to get out and move some of the quail around. I've got two different age groups of quail and a group of baby chicks in the brooder (which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE). The oldest bunch of quail are probably ready to be moved outside. But, I need to start lowering the heat on them to get them adjusted to a lower temp.

Been thinking of a way I can keep the pigs from trying to steal the goats feed. It usually isn't a problem when I can feed all the animals at one time, because the pigs will munch on their feed and the goats will munch on theirs and will be finished before the pigs. Now - with not being able to get out and get everything done at one time, its more of a challenge. Right now I'm not loving being a pig owner.

 

[NH Homesteader]

So sorry about your mom. It is so unfair. And I'm equally sorry you're not going to be able to see the grandkids for Christmas. It will be fun to celebrate late with them at least.

Yay for quail, boo for pigs! Lol they can be a PIA when it comes to food!

I really hope they get someone out to help you soon while you wait for space at a facility. You need a break, it's just too much. X a million

 

[Mini Horses]

Are you on a waiting list at the facilities? While it is very expensive, you may want to arrange for some in home assistance at a commercial provider, since the one in your neighborhood isn't available (?it seems?) Even a couple days a week will help you. Hospice helps with bringing meds, etc. but nothing as far as any care beyond personal balthing, toileting and such. At least that was MY findings.

Problem with these waiting lists is that persons there rarely leave beyond going out for end of life OR being moved to another facility -- the lesser of the two.

Your mom seems to have progressed quite rapidly of late. Any chance meds are the issue OR meds could help???? I know you said you had discussed some changes with her doctor. While we don't like to medicate, I found in these cases it was the only option for both of us. It helped with her disposition and outbursts, some of the unexpected/unexplainable activity, plus sleeping. At a rehab facility (after a fall & knee damage) they had to put a bed alarm on the mattress to alert to getting up and an ankle alert for her trying to leave the facility. It locked any exit door as she approached, set of an alarm. Yep -- lotta fun during my years as caregiver.

I think of you often!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

@NH Homesteader - It really is too much for one person. DH helps whenever he can. He's had his own problems for the last couple of nights he's had severe hypoglycemia and it just takes so much out of him. Of course, it adds to the lack of sleep issue for me. Waking up to his insulin pump alarming is no fun for either of us.

@Mini Horses - We are on the waiting list at the facility. It IS expensive. It will be a minimum of 6K per month for both of them together. Their monthly income is about half that. That's one of the reasons I'm trying so hard to get their house sold. (That's another story altogether and not a good one.) They also have a 401K that we can access, but I'm trying hard to hold on to that money for them as it's earning quite a bit of interest and will have to pick up the slack when their house money runs out. The more money that's in that account the more it grows.

Their caregiver is getting a much needed rest while I'm off for Christmas break. She's watching her grandkids now but might be available some in the afternoons. I need to go pick up some new meds for dad and a bag of quail feed so I may see if she can come down for an hour or so.

The biggest reason the NP offered hospice is because of the rate that mom is declining. It's alarming and just almost beyond my scope of comprehension. She went from being a big help in dad's caregiving and totally self-sufficient 3.5 months ago to not being able to form a full sentence or verbalize her needs in that amount of time. According to the charts she's progressed through about 3 years of symptoms in those 3 month. She also said yesterday, again, that she's ready to die. I don't know how dad will cope if she goes first...

I know you, and others, have been through this and I know we will come out on the other side - but this in-between crap really sucks!

Realtor just texted me - I sure hope he has good news because he is getting on my last nerve. There have been major changes in the offer on the house and some people must think it's okay to yank my chain right now and they are wholly and completely wrong. I'm looking for a fight, lol!

 

[NH Homesteader]

Wow... She has really gone down hill quickly. And your husband having sugar issues too... You should get paid to be home, you're pretty much a full time nurse these days. Your vacation isn't much of a vacation is it.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

DH asked me the other night (when he was so sick) how it felt to be the caregiver for 3 people with issues.... It sucks, lol. But, he's a help more than a hindrance. Yesterday I had reached my last nerve...tried my best to be patient and loving, but just couldn't muster it anymore when mom popped out of the bed for the 20th time and dad was griping about the potato chip crumbs. I literally had to turn my back, walk out of their room, grab a bottle of wine and go upstairs. DH stepped in and took up the slack while I took an hour or so to unwind and decompress a bit.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Caregiver for 3 people and what.... 100 animals? (chickens add up fast!) you're lucky to have him, health issues or not. My husband couldn't do ill parents. Don't know if I could either, honestly.