Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[baymule]

That not only sounds wonderful, it is compassionate. It is so hard to switch facilities when a loved one no longer knows what is going on, but they sure know they aren't where they were. Saying prayers that a room opens up for both of your parents.

 

[NH Homesteader]

People also deteriorate more quickly when they're moved. Probably part of the reason she's progressed so quickly. Couldn't be helped in your case, thanks a lot hurricane!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Mom was delivered home from the Hospice facility this afternoon. Poor dad, he was so excited that she was coming home and so disappointed about her condition when she got here.

The AL facility close to home has been trying to get both mom/dad in but just can't. Sooooo, being the professionals that they are, and really concerned for people, they steered me in another direction. And, I can tell you that sometimes everything just falls into place. I went to visit the suggested facility, fell in love with the place and the owner, and met some of the residents who were clean and happy and attending a b'day party for one of the new residents. They had a dj who volunteers his time and it was such a festive occasion.

The bad news was they had a bed for a man, not a woman. I went ahead and reserved the bed for dad. There was a bed for a female right across the hall that had already been reserved by another family for their female loved one. Sadly, their doctor wanted her to go to a nursing home...so...WE GOT HER ROOM!

Tomorrow is moving day! I'm not ashamed to say that I shed a couple tears when the director/owner called to tell me that we could get them in. I'm crazy busy tonight trying to get things together. I had to go shopping because they didn't even have enough clothes to make this move. They are set now!

Dad is excited. He knows mom needs more help than we can give her here. And, even though I originally wanted them in the same room - I think this is the best - at least for dad. He will finally get some sleep too. Bless his heart - he just doesn't know how to help her - but wants so desperately to.

We're all so tired. It's a good thing that this journey has almost reached its final destination.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Yay!! Happy for you all! Hope moving goes well tomorrow.

 

[sumi]

This is wonderful news and must be such a relief for you, bittersweet as it is

 

[Mini Horses]

I am so very, very happy for all of you. It is what is needed, it is time. There is NO guilt.

Been there....my mom was in such a continuing care situation facility. She was actually in the far end when admitted. But lovely place, activities planned, GREAT care, meals in dining room, etc. Truly after the first month of feeling you need to do daily visits, you will begin to relax. They will be upset some at first but, both being there will give them the ability to be with another fam member each day. It's all good.

It will take a while for YOU to adjust but, try to . Bay said it all, you feel guilt that you should not. Mindset!! You have done what is needed and best -- you did NOT let them down or abandon them -- go hug a goat, all the dogs, and DH. Drink wine & eat chocolate.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Thinking of you today, I hope moving day went well!

 

[baymule]

Prayers have been answered.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

It was a long hard day - but it's finally over! We're home alone! First thing we did was turn off that stinkin' door alarm and I never want to hear it again, lol.

The downside was that dad totally forgot that he had said it was alright for them to NOT be in the same room at first. He was NOT a happy camper. Mom...she just doesn't get it anyway.

We stayed for several hours, saw them through dinner and then made our escape. I think I'll turn my phone off tonight!

OH crap... shoulda turned it off. They just called and said that dad went hunting for mom and managed to fall....first night there. So, they also suggested that I wait a few days before coming back to let them settle in. GRRRRRRRR! This is like leaving your kid with a baby sitter for the very first time....

But, even though I know he might have a rough transition - it is still the best thing. It just is.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Yes, it is the best thing for them. Even if he's mad for a bit, they're safe. And you have an excuse to take a few days away to feel like yourself again.