George Carlin one liners

[SKR8PN]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

that's not a one liner ,and it's not funny.

May not be a one liner.......but it IS funny.....and the truth!

 

[Mackay]

* I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

 

[Blue Skys]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

that's not a one liner ,and it's not funny.

May not be a one liner.......but it IS funny.....and the truth!

I thinks it's funny

 

[Wildsky]

they're all friggin funny!

 

[Mackay]

" Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them?"

 

[Mackay]

"You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Shes 97 now and we have no idea where she is."

 

[Denim Deb]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

that's not a one liner ,and it's not funny.

May not be a one liner.......but it IS funny.....and the truth!

To you it may be. But, it is offensive to all those on here that believe in God. I don't find it funny, nor true.

 

[kcsunshine]

Lighten up folks - I bet even God laughed at George Carlin. I loved the man and was devastated when he died. His routines were so funny. As much as I hate any animal being hurt I loved the one about frog legs. And even as funny as they were, there is a basic truth to everything he said. One of those DUH moments when you heard them.

 

[SKR8PN]

To you it may be. But, it is offensive to all those on here that believe in God. I don't find it funny, nor true.

This thread is about one man's outlook on the world, and his comedy, which this world sorely misses since his passing. Now I for one, just so happen to be offended by religion in general, yet, I don't go into your church and complain about the days sermon, or the way your pastor delivered it.
To continue the spirit of this thread, here's another of Georges one liners...

"I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."


Just some food for thought.

 

[noobiechickenlady]

I miss George.
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

And another:
Ya know, I bet he's down there... smiling up at us!