George Carlin one liners

[TanksHill]

very funny thread!!!!

 

[SKR8PN]

"Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. "

 

[me&thegals]

that's not a one liner ,and it's not funny.

May not be a one liner.......but it IS funny.....and the truth!

To you it may be. But, it is offensive to all those on here that believe in God. I don't find it funny, nor true.

I believe in God and I still think it's funny. Course, that might be cuz my God doesn't need money...

 

[2dream]

I love and miss Georges humor.

 

[Mackay]

"If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."

 

[Mackay]

" The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."

 

[Mackay]

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

 

[Mackay]

"The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. "

 

[Damummis]

" Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them?"

Oooo, I like this one.

Can I make that a bumper sticker?

 

[SKR8PN]

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

Now you know why I enjoy playing Santa every Christmas season.