Have any of you ever been asked to take control of someone's finances?

[rhoda_bruce]

I have and its not always easy. Its rather complicated. I really think people should learn the difference between wants and needs and also about a little self-control.

 

[Beekissed]

Amen and amen! I have family members who live beyond their means no matter how much they earn...and they earn a whole LOT. They are double mortgaged, ocean deep in debt and can't seem to stop wanting, wanting, wanting, spending, spending, spending. They make more in one year than I have ever made in 10 years of working and they can't seem to "make it". And the sad thing? They think THEY are the smart ones of the family...

It's almost like they have an addiction and need to go to a treatment center for materialistic detox.

Is this person an elderly person/family member?

 

[so lucky]

I have taken care of my parents' finances for several years. They have never been careless or wasteful with their money, tho. Mostly a matter of being too confused to keep it straightened out.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Bee: Well she is now, but the first 2 times I tended her issues, she wasn't. She lives with huge regrets over a life of waste. She spends and then doesn't have anything to show for it. If I spend X amount of dollars, some of it might be utilities, that I have no say over and some of it will be food, that will keep me alive, but beyond that, if I actually purchase something, you can see, feel and use it. Its real and its mine. Not with her. She spends her money on fun. Make your own fun. She looks on my life like drudgery.
Well her last 'fun' episode has resulted in me being the only one allowed to go into her accounts and me being her POA. Maybe now she will have something. She had in the past. Maybe I can at least get her outta the red and with some kinda little plus. There has to be some kinda root cause.......unless no one ever bothered to show her how to live check to check.

 

[Beekissed]

Or how to NOT live check to check...and therein lies the problem for most folks. Living to the limit of the check seems to be the norm....gotta little left over? Spend it, cause I get paid on Friday!

Sounds like you have your work cut out for you....might be a kicking and screaming battle before it's all said and done. Hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

You are right. She does scream and argue when she wants something she doesn't get. But then she is sorry. I have done good for her in the past, when something similar was being done, although not with all these added precautions. But I could have done better. I just didn't all the time want to fight.
Well, I'm so sorry, but somebody has got to pay for all the good times now and its about to happen and fast. Her income is more than her needed expenses, so she is about to see some serious payments being made and I bet she won't starve. Her income tax is going to be filed Thursday. Hope I can do some good with that.
She never even made it check to check though. Mosta the time, she was out of money b4 the next one and needed advances from her husband's employers or to borrow from relatives. Thats just not me.

 

[donrae]

Would she benefit from something like Financial Peace University? I can't stress how much it's helped our finances, but then again I was strongly motivated. Dave Ramsey is a great speaker and really hits home on some topics.

 

[Denim Deb]

My hubby was always one that lived pay check to pay check and ran up credit card bills. I honestly don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to him. He is now doing better, and is paying off bills, but it will take us years. But, he will still spend too much at Christmas and for birthdays. I no longer tell him everything I want because I know chances are, I'd get it all, and we can't afford it. Instead, I tell him what I need. Of course, that doesn't stop him from getting me other things. W/him though, I think it's a guilt complex.

 

[stubbornhillfarm]

Would she benefit from something like Financial Peace University? I can't stress how much it's helped our finances, but then again I was strongly motivated. Dave Ramsey is a great speaker and really hits home on some topics.

Agreed! The principals of Financial Peace University was a blessing that was shared with us through another couple. We have gone from making a lot of money and not being able to pay our bills, to making a lot less - having the same bills, prices being higher and actually being able to pay our bills on time, have a savings and emergency fund.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

I'll try to remember the name, if I decide to toss in the towel, but I can't see I need it and I'm not giving her any cash or spending capabilities, because she will only buy what she shouldn't have. I got this..... Its going to be fine, but its the hinting around and telling me all the things she will be 'needing' and getting in the future....that all means money, that needs to come out of her acct. Some of its not bad. Last night she wanted flowers to put at a gravesite and was wishing she could buy a christening outfit for a new baby in the family. I didn't say anything, about that there should be no reason why she shouldn't have money to buy the outfit and put flowers every week, if she had lived her life different, but now she has to wait until payday and come to me for it.
I'm going to win out over her, because I don't mind tears and getting ratted out as much as I used to. Time is not on her side and I have a job to do and I have no intention of failing. But I do feel the pressure when she is 'fishing.' I can tell when she is starting to play with me.