Help? I don't want to hurt my husbands feelings....

[miss_thenorth]

Ok, just me again... but if it is something practical, then I would be fine with it, but if is something frivolous, then I would speak up. My feelings are worth something too. I'm just saying what I would do. At our house, we don't get all hyped up with gifts, and this is how I would treat my dh, and he would treat me the same way. I don't know how your hubby would react. but me--I have to be straightforward. I can't lie and act all surprised when I know how much it cost, etc. And by can't--I mean I won't, and literally can't. My emotions are worn on my sleeve and theres nothing I can do about it.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

I'm with you miss_thenorth. The thing about letting things pass and not saying anything is that the situation will repeat until you are so frustrated that you say something worse than you would if you had just spoken up to begin with. JMO.

 

[PamsPride]

Oh, and new sewing machine would be so nice!! I use mine a lot! Then I would just try to talk him into moving!!!

 

[dacjohns]

I'm with FarmerChick.

We have easily bruised feelings.

 

[2dream]

Gee....your husbands buy you gifts?

We don't exchange gifts. Well occasionally I will buy him a gift but not a biggie and occasionally he will buy me a gift. Our gifts are at random times of the year. Never Birthdays or Christmas. Usually just little happies. Like when I was completely out of zip ties and bungie cords. He purchased and wrapped two really big packages of zip ties and 20 bungie cords. Came in like he had the Hope Diamond. And when I opened the package I thought I had hit the mother lode.

Personally, whatever my hubby walks in the door with is exactly what I want because he took his time to go get it for me.

Open your package, enjoy the fact that your Husband loved you enough to go purchase you something he wanted you to have and that he thought you wanted. To me the Love and time are so much more important than the actual gift.

Open, hug, and enjoy the season.

 

[Beekissed]

My folks have been married for 56 years. My mother has not received a gift of any kind from my dad her whole life! None. I am a single mother and I may get a small gift from my mother on birthdays and Christmas. Never got any from any husband, that's for sure!

I say this.....if you have a husband that wants to buy you ANYTHING at all, I would fall down on my knees and kiss his feet!

AND....if you have enough money in your bank account to have him use 1/3 of $5000 on a gift just for you.....and your checks don't bounce afterward....then I would say you are on the far side of lucky and I would drop to my knees and thank God for all my blessings!

But then...that's just what I would do!

 

[TanksHill]

OK now I m feeling really guilty. But I did say he used a Visa, which yes means we did not have the money in the first place.

I think there is a lot more to the bones of this story relating to my DH health issues. The more I think about it and read your comments the worse I feel.

Gee, isn't Christmas grand.

 

[Beekissed]

Awwww, Tanks Hill!!! We didn't mean to make you feel bad...just let you know just how blessed you are in so many ways to have a man that loves you that much!!! Most men are very misguided in their gift-giving talents but at least you have the love of a good man. That should make all the world of difference to you!

I bet if you thought about it.....fence or husband...you would choose the sweet man over the fence any day and worry about the fence later! Heck, I'd give you my fence and all my chickens for a man like that!

 

[miss_thenorth]

Well, Tanks, If you are anything like me when you post about a problem--it is always good to get feedback, but you are going to do what your going to do anyway.

I wish you the best of luck on however you decide to handle this situation. It is not an easy one. So just search deep inside of you and go with your gut. If you d feel that you must confront him, do it as kindly as possible.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

 

[FarmerChick]

oh tankshill --certainly don't feel bad....you get tons of points of view on how to handle problems that arise.....but in the end you know what you will do!!! sometimes we are so occupied with this and that, then something simple comes along and it gets right on us and hits a nerve.

LOL--seriously, ya just gotta laugh about it truly!!!!!

I think for me, I just forget that a gift is a gift. I truly have no say in a gift from the heart from my hubby. I hope he can hit me on what I want, but if not, then I just accept the gift and move forward...LOL...like BK says, take anything you can get..HA HA HA

And don't go making youself feel sad for no reason during this holiday time. You smile up big time! Life is good and we are making it better for ourselves every chance we get! Yippee!