How Did You Get to Today?

[noobiechickenlady]

Welcome!!! I'm new here as well, you'll love it here! I've learned a ton already.
I'm just really starting out on my dream of being as self-sufficient as possible with an at home job and a small farming homestead.

Every week, DH and I look over our goals, talk about how far we have come, what we've accomplished and what still needs some work. Sometimes, goals come off due to circumstances changing or other, better opportunities coming about or what have you. Like our goal of having several goats for meat, milk & cheese, that changed when we tasted some farm fresh goat's milk. Neither of us really like it and the kids wouldn't even taste it. We got to watch the whole procedure and they were very sanitary and chilled the milk very quickly and it still tasted... goaty. Now we're looking at Dexters. Lo and below, there are 6 (SIX!!!) Dexter breeders within an hour drive of us. So maybe meat goats and a milk cow?

I work as a Graphic Designer for a medium corp (maybe 250 employees total) so my job isn't really "who" I am, but it is the career I fell into and fell in love with. I never knew who I wanted to be "when i grew up" until I started training for this job. Then I fell in love with the job. But now, its just a means to an end, the financing of our more authentic lifestyle. It is something I could do from home, although we don't yet have a working computer or internet at home. But if the opportunity presents itself, I'll be able to set my own hours and work only when I really want to. I commute a hour a day and stay gone for 10 hours total, which gets very hard, especially on DH, who is a stay at home dad. We've tried having him in the workplace, but the house/kids/property got too much for us to handle after being gone all day. Same with trucking, he used to long-haul. Hated it. Loved to drive, hated being away and I simply couldn't handle it before we even got chickens and a garden. He's a square peg in a round hole world, so now he's MY square peg. He's schooling the kids now that its summer and taking care of the garden, housework and the like, with my part time assistance. And I rest easy knowing my kids are with a parent who loves & looks after them instead of being a paycheck to someone. Plus I've always got clean clothes! They might be on the couch (he is classic dude after all) but they're clean!

There's another goal that's changed. I used to want to be a stay at home mom and let him work, then I wanted a "career", now I want a LIFE

Anyways, if you can, make yourself a dream/goal board, list or picture your goals and focus on it. Take the steps that offer themselves up logically, never stop learning, never jump into something headfirst without reading, talking, learning as much as you can about the subject. If you keep your goals in mind, keep thinking about them and take small steps as they come, you'll be on your B&B before you realize it. Even if you are white headed by then

I'm with big brown horse, turn your lawn into a garden. There are tons of ornamental plants that you can eat and will likely enjoy. Maybe you could get a single rabbit or a breeding pair to start off with. Or a couple of chickens. Start small so it will be less likely you will get a huge kick in the pants from being overwhelmed.

I have to constantly restrain DH's enthusism. He's goal oriented, while I'm detail oriented so he thinks "Hey, lets get some goats!" I say, "Okay, where are we going to house them, what do you know about raising them, do you know how to milk a goat, how much are we gonna spend on feed, what about that busted bit of fence, they'll be in the neighbors yards?" lol Babysteps, baby!

 

[miss_thenorth]

Our journey started with the birth of my first. When the time came for me to start back at work, I had serious anxiety of leaving my precious bundle with a babysitter all day while I barely made above minimum wage. so we decided that we would make cuts and i would stay home. Hubby's salary was not that great back then, so I started on a frugality search. I was raised in a dutch, christian home, so some aspects of frugality came natural to me.

I started out taking control of our finances, started cooking from scratch. And it all blossomed from there. I got to thinking about how it was so much more healthy for us, and then started looking at the nutritional side of homecooking.

My mom came from a farming background, so all things farm always had my interest too. When we moved up north, the beauty of the land was inspiring to me, and I started thinking about how easily we could just try our best to live off the land. We bought a property on a river, 80 acres of forest, with a beaver pond, hunting off the cottage doorstep,we wild foraged, went for long walks in the woods and loved it soo much, we started making plans to build a permanent home there. With no utilities going to the property, we looked into solar and wind power to provide our needs for electricity. We would build with as many natural resources we had access to. We would heat with the abundance of wood--already chopped down for us by the beaver.

All that came to a sudden halt when hubby got offered the job of his dreams, so we packed up and moved back down south. We lived in the city for about 4 years, but we were suffocating, at least I was, so we ended up buying a place in the country. Downside is hubby commutes two hours to work a day, but he only works three weeks and has two off.

We didn't pack up our plans of living more self sufficient. We now, or should I say I now raise hens for eggs, chickens for meat, rabbits for meat, and quail for meat. I have a huge vegetable garden (that I hope thrives this year--it was rained out and flooded last year). We plan on expanding to house more animals, such as pigs, and against my hubby's wishes, i will get goats. We have two horses, two dogs, one house cat and two barn cats.

We are planning a solar wall on an addition to the barn that we will be starting in two weeks, I plan to heat my pool with solar. A wood stove will be added tot he basement to help with heating costs. right now our biggest bill is hydro, so eventually we would like to get a wind tubine (we have LOTS of wind here), to help offset the hcydro cost.

I am a stay at home mom (who worked briefly during the winter). I take care of the animals, the house and garden and I am a great hubby-helper for all the big projects we take on. Hubby is very handy-- a do it yourself kinda guy, and very motivated. Our only downfall is he likes to spend money on his hobbies. More and more though, his hobbies are taking place at home, so the money is starting to stay here.

Hubby is a power engineer for a combined cycle power plant. he loves his job, he has great pay, and great benefits.

My kids love living out here, and they love the way we live--they are very thankful that they have a blessed life.

So, we didn't really have goals to start out with, but they came slowly, and we achieved them. I didn't have a dream when I was in my twenties. things might have been quite different if I did have one. Our goals now, are baby steps. We don't have a five year plan, really, we just know where we would like to be.

For our retirement, we have certain plans or goals, or dreams if you want to call them that. We would like to go back up north, build an off grid home and live off the land, so to speak. --Keep raising animals, growing alot of own food. Hunt, forage. Be less dependent on the grocery stores, consumerism. Enjoy the beauty of the land.

Our life has really just been evolving, and we love every minute of it. We are also thankful for everything we have.

Sittng here, thinking on this, there is alot I colud have done in my city home, but with the Joneses living right next door, and down the street, it would have been so much more difficult. I'd have to be really strongminded to be able to do this in the city, and not mind being called a weirdo, which I wouldn't have too much problem with, but hubby did have a keeping up with the Joneses mentality when we lived there. He is getting much better, after two years in the country. It was definitely a good decision on our part, (except for the fact that we now have a huge mortgage). All will get better for us, and I'm sure for you too. You have found some likeminded souls here, so no need to be lonely anymore. It IS comforting to know there are others out there who are different, but the same too.

 

[lonelilly]

I'm with big brown horse, turn your lawn into a garden. There are tons of ornamental plants that you can eat and will likely enjoy. Maybe you could get a single rabbit or a breeding pair to start off with. Or a couple of chickens. Start small so it will be less likely you will get a huge kick in the pants from being overwhelmed.

Lol! We need a starter farm. Something to learn on (I'm thinking we could rent some place close to town--we work from home). We live in a fourplex so major gardening isn't very possible, we have no yard. My neighbor below me just tore up his yard and put in a garden. He's got chickens back there too (3's the limit here per yard). We've got a small patch of 3' x 4' dirt next to his yard and I've filled it with tomatoes. (I was also able to sneak in a zucchini and squash in another small spot!) I've got some indoor plants and want to do a container herb garden. That's about as much as we can do for now.

Sitting here, thinking on this, there is alot I could have done in my city home, but with the Joneses living right next door, and down the street, it would have been so much more difficult. I'd have to be really strongminded to be able to do this in the city, and not mind being called a weirdo...

You know, I think cities are starting to change. I'm spoiled b/c of Portland, where a lot of people have gardens in their front and backyards and community gardens are in every neighborhood, but the tide is changing. Thrifty's the new black, ya know?

 

[big brown horse]

Wow!! miss_thenorth!! We are all at different levels of ss.

Lonelilly, you are very young and have a long time to reach your goals. Now you are among good peeps to make you feel at home in a world that does not necessarily share your same goals.

When I was in my 20's I dreamed of living the life I have now. Now I know I can even achieve even more with time.

Now that I live near the sea, I am going to add fishing and crabbing and oyster-ing and clamming too to my list. I never thought I would be so lucky to live near the sea!

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Things are somewhat different here than most. I grew up on a small farm here in the appalachian mountains and I am still here. I never dreamed of anything else, this is my life. There has never been much money to go around and we have always "made do". With that though,myself, I have never had that need for things. I was born into a simple life and will die in a simple life. My siblings left here and went searching for something better,they come home now on occasion, beaten,stressed and tired from the big life they made somewhere else. They come home to relax,but they have to return to their homes. I never wanted nothing more but to be home and to raise my children here as I was. The family farm is in disrepair, but DH and I are slowly getting it back together. He works a seasonal job, 6 months on and 6 months off. I am a stay at home mom to two wonderful,bright children. No one goes without anything and financially we are good. We spent our first 12 years of marriage in a mobile home (did not like that) but now we are living in our new house we built. It is small to most people standards, around 1000 sq. ft. It was very affordable due to us saving and doing it ourselves. We have chickens and a very large garden and last summer we raised pigs. Next year I am looking into having goats. I have family that is in your situation that long to leave their lives behind and go somewhere peaceful, somewhere they can take care of themselves. I feel for them as I feel for you. Its not easy to get here and it isnt always easy once you arrive, but you will do it if that is what you truly want. The best of luck to you.

 

[ORChick]

"Dreams are one thing, but reality is often another. Dream now and then make your reality your own."

Inchworm, this reminds me of a quote that was carved into the mantle of one of the fireplaces in the house my grandfather built; it is from Virgil, and is carved in Latin, but the English is: They make their own dreams for themselves.

My DH and I are retired; we did this at about age 50 through frugality and luck. We both were raised frugal (he in post-war Germany, where I don't think there was much of a choice about that ). I have always wanted/had a garden; I sew, and cook, and prefer to do things myself rather than pay others to do it. DH is not so inclined this way, especially now that he is older, and was very sick a year or so ago, but I just go on with what I do. We live in the country now - 8 acres, but most of it is useless, on a steep hill and covered in poison oak and trees - after 25 years in suburbia. But I have my garden, and now I have chickens. I can't say I ever had any concrete thoughts on where I wanted to be at any future point in my life; I just knew that I wanted animals around me, and a veggie/herb garden (and kids too, but that never happened - which is no doubt one reason we were able to retire early). My DH was raised in a large city, and liked it. I feel that I have accomplished quite a bit just getting him out in the country, and liking it. As others have mentioned, you are still young. It is normal to be impatient when you are young, but it sounds to me like both you and your DH are on the same page about what you want to do, so continue to work towards that goal, and it *will* happen. Good luck.

 

[breconbcs]

Rather than dream, the last 18 yrs have taught me to aim for goals, not dreams. Goals can be changed or altered when need be, dreams only crash and burn if you don't reach them and can take you down with them mentally/emotionally.

At 18 I had what I thought was my future ahead of me - I was riding in the top hunter/jumper levels, riding the best horses, training under some of the best riders in Canada and saw my future clear, the Olympics and my own facility. Then at 19 I found myself pregnant with my oldest and raising a child on my own with no support from family unless I sold the horses and got a "real" career which I did cause at that time I saw no other way. Shortly after ds was born I met dh and went back to school, then of course got married, had 2 more kids, lost my job and lost our house (taught us a hard lesson of buy on one income only) and was just going through the motions of living, of being the good wife and mother I was expected to be.

I've had I don't know how many jobs, dh calls me an employment butterfly - I flutter from one job to another. I get bored easily, and can't stand doing the same thing day in day out, and when it's costing money to work (more than what your making) why bother. When we have to bounce a car or mortgage payment to put gas in the car so I can go to work it's time to rethink things.
We've come through some really bad times that have changed our way of thinking. None of the jobs have ever been me. DH loves what he does, just hates the politics of the company as it's changed over the years - he's been at the same job for 19 yrs now, in the industry for 22.

Are we where we wanted to be even 5 yrs ago when we bought here - no - but we are closer. The goal still hasn't changed but has had to be altered and extended at times (mostly do to lack of funds). The long term goal, move onto 5-10 acres or more. Due to the financial problems we've had in the past we bought a house we could afford on one income, not what we wanted but it's a starting point. We are and we aren't in the country. We have close to 1/2 an acre of property, not big and has alot of trees, most are over 100' tall and give us wonderful privacy when in leaf like they are now. We live in a cottage area, though there are starting to be more year round residents moving in. And we are 15 minutes from town.

Cause of the trees there isn't alot of sun. Get more since the neighbour built his house a couple years ago and the lot behind him was cut down and a house put up, but still not enough to make a good size garden (not alone we're on sand!). The lot behind us is still all trees an we have been given use of it for the dogs and kids to play in. We've slowly worked at getting some grass to grow, getting the flowerbeds working - they look pretty good this year so now I can start to focus on filling in the spaces. We've cut down some trees for fear of them hitting the house or the neighbours which has given us more sun on the driveway side of the house.
As I've slowly learned (thanks to this board) about how to do small things I can do without any help (laundry soap, fabric softener, learning to cook more from scratch rather than buy premade/packaged), and learned how to do small things on small spaces, dh has slowly been seeing the small differences it makes. The bylaws are our biggest issue. We live in a screwed up township who takes it's lead from the cottages (money) rather than from the residents. But we work with what we can.

So now we are working on short term goals for while we are here in this house - put in a raised garden at the side of the deck/driveway, get grass to grow on the front lawn - bylaws don't allow us to put in gardens or anything on the weeping bed. And if dh has his way, fighting the bylaws on allowing us to have a windturbine (he found a loop hole with the energy board). As the bylaws and government come down on us harder, dh sees that what I am chatting to him about and wanting to do is the way we need to go. My sister doesn't understand but she supports anyway, dh's family thinks I'm nuts and it's not worth the effort to even try anything. If dh has his way we will build a ss house into a hill when we get to that part of our goals. That will probably be after the kids have gone.
During this journey I've also found a couple things I'm good at - I can cook from scratch and not posion anyone, I don't kill green things when I put my all into them, they do grow and come back (I've always killed seeds I've started, but not this year!), and soap making is not only a good creative outlet for me but also a great de-stress/relaxer for me and people actually want what I'm making. lol Which is leading to a "new job", I'm selling the soap and bath pamperings I make at the Farmer's Market this year and hopefully it will pay for itself and for the supplies so I can keep going and I'm going to get my aromatherapy certification once we have enough money set aside.

Give it time lonelilly, set the goals - littles and bigger ones and when need be extend/alter them and keep plugging away at it and you'll get to where you want to be.
We are 38, our oldest is leaving for University (on the otherside of the country) this fall (something we never thought would happen), and we are now being able to see our direction clearly. But it took setting small goals and reaching those to get us to this point and if we continue it will get us to where we want to be - maybe even before retirement hits.

 

[tamlynn]

This is an excellent thread. I love reading all these stories.

One piece of advice I have: Never wait to be happy. So many times we waste our time thinking "if only I had x I would be happy." Well, sometimes x never happens and then what have you got?

So many things have happened to dh and I, both as the result of choices and as the result of circumstances, that I never dreamed of. But like inchworm said, our core values have not changed. I grew up in a tiny town in rural UT, dh grew up in rural IL. We met in college and married in our 20's. I am an artist and dh is a mechanical engineer. We planned to have children. It didn't happen the way we thought it would. We bought property in UT to build on and had to sell less than a year later when dh got a job in AZ. Then he got a job in NJ, then he got a job in CA. If you had told me when I was a kid in a town of 400 that I would be living in Los Angeles I would have said you were crazy. I never set out to adopt or to homeschool or to live on a lot the size of my parent's front lawn, but I find joy every day in the opportunites I have. Every place we have lived, we have planted fruit trees. This summer, 13 years later, is the first time we have lived in a place long enough to enjoy the fruit! I don't know how long we will be here, but I enjoy it while I can.

I feel extremely blessed, or priveledged even, that I can take my kids to my parent's farm for the summer. I feel excited the rest of the year that I live near the beach and that I can take my kids to the Getty museum or to the LA Philharmonic. There are pros and cons to every living situation. Don't forget the pros! I hate my cost of living, but I love the beach. In NJ I hated the ticks, but loved my house. In AZ I loved our yard but the nearest businesses were over 1/2 hour away. Not good when you have to rush your baby to the ER in the middle of the night.

My dh told me that his parents hated living in IL. They hated it for 30 years and could not wait for fil to retire so they could move. Well, by the time he could retire, mil had advanced MS -multiple sclerosis. They did move, and started plans to build their dream house, but mil passed away before it was started.

Decide to be happy now. Certainly have goals and work towards them, but don't wait to be happy.

 

[big brown horse]

Tamlynn, I agree on waiting to be happy. We spent everything we had (before the stock market crashed) to get outselves here. We were going to wait until we reitred, but we couldn't do "it" anymore...the grind was killing us.

Now we are land rich and cash poor...and LOVING it!! We will beef up our savings again. We are on a strict budget until times get a bit better. But we wouldn't change a thing. We still ask ourselves, why did we wait soo long?

Lonelilly,
All I ever wanted my whole life was a little farm. Now all I want is a little self sufficient farm. Were almost there...and you will be too, it took me 20 years to get to this point.

You are closer to your goals than I was at your age.

 

[FarmerChick]

I never had a "true dream" to shoot for actually.

I always wanted horses....so when my parents retired down to NC from PA I went cause land was cheaper. Single so I could easily move also.

Got my 5 acres and house bought in cash cause I saved long and hard for that money working corporate jobs.

Got here and slowed down.

Then married Dh at age 35. He was my hay supplier for my horses..LOL-LOL

THEN it got busy. He was a farmer type with a day job -=-working 4 days 12 hrs. We inched into chickens, goats for meat, then products from the farm, make molasses, farm about 100 acres for hay, veggie crops to sell, hogs for sausage, etc. etc.

One thing remember...your list of dreams are alot of work. I took on way too much. I wish I just geared toward a few things instead of all I have to do and make and handle. Being SS is hard..LOL...my SS goes into my farm income business kinda so it just means "business" and not just being SS to save money and enjoy a simpler life.

So definitely define your dreams, and they change as age happens. Being near 50 what I would do with this farm at age 20 is not the same now..LOL----I want to cut back the farm terribly. I don't want to go into my 50s and 60s being a pretzel from all the backbreaking work. I need to preserve myself now for older age coming..haha

best of luck to you.

I happened into this life when I married. For me owning horses and marrying into a farm type business is how I got here to this point....but then being more conscience of our footprint on the earth also made me decide to cut back on buying junk, polluting when we shouldn't, etc. etc.....so going back to SS type basics makes me feel like I made some good changes for the planet and save money and live a little easier I guess.

hang in there,,,,shoot for it and it will come to you!