Bobbys visit here was very pleasent, and he brought over a few boxes of things that belonged to my Mom. Later this evening I will look through them when I have some private time to myself.
He liked my smokehouse a lot, and mentioned he was going to build a small one for him. I had cooked some of my bacon up for breakfast this morning and saved some for him to taste. When he walked in the house the smell of bacon was still in the air. He said " mmmmm.... now that is some good bacon, what did you smoke it with and how"
Next we went to the pond, shroom patch which he thought was neat, nut orchard, rain barrel, garden, and fruit orchard.
He stopped and taught me how to prune the lower branches of my tomatoe plants, he stated that the amount of energy used to grow those would be better used for the top and main stem of the plant. He also said the the plant would produce better tomatoes.
When he looked at my grapes, he doesn't think the soil is right for them, told me to side dress them 3 feet away with some potassium. That will help the rooting system and plant this year.
We retuned back to the side deck, drank some tea and chatted about our lives and general stuff. I asked about going Salmon fishing with me this fall, he really would enjoy going and spending the weekend together.
Generally speaking, he is one of those simple kind souls type of people. You know the type of people don't have any bad will towards people? I don't have any memories of him being violent towards us kids, him and Mom got into a few times, but she could hold her own. My mom left my real dad due to his violent attitude and he had beaten her a few times, once when I was about 5 y/o and I still remember parts of it.
I think when she came home to PA, kids under her arms, she was looking for a new start. I and my sister lived with my Grandpa for 4 months at that time, while mom was looking for work. She'd call a couple times a week and come home to visit with us every other week. Thats when she met Bobby and we became a family.
Not around his current wife, but as we walked around he spoke of Mom with pleasant memories and mentioned how he missed her. He said that she had a huge positive impact on his life and he was happy just to have spent 11 years with her. Just after he said that, I thanked him for helping to raise me and being such a good role model, a real man to respect and look up to (compared in contrast to my real father). He mentioned that him and mom were very demanding parents and expected to much from us kids. (we worked most of the time during the week on the farm, up early at 0500 to feed and water, home to clean pens, milk the goats, and evening feeding) I reminded him just then of how I have turned out and raising my own son.
With respect, looking at my whole life, I have done pretty good, and I have a good heart, though I do have short comings from time to time, less as I get older so I am noticing. I think its heart felt wisdom and having my little piece of earth I call a farm where I can plant and harvest and feel a sense of pride.
Those ghosts of war will always be with me, but with time, and love of my current life now, they seem to fade further away every month. I do have those moments where I judge myself for the bad things I did during that time in my life. I signed up to do the job, and I did my job as directed. I think this is the only way to look at it, I can't really deal with it because I can't change what has been done. The only thing I can do now is to be a good man, husband and father. Raise my children with the same love my mom and bobby did for us.
Right now I feel like I just had a soul makeover today.
but either way they will help other people with ideas and bad ideas.
