The anti depressents are the worst for the sex drive. The cymbalta is most likely the culprit. I have a GF who said it was like it just shriveled up while she was on it. Dried out and got uncomfortable. No pleasure. I would honestly get off of it if you can, it's probably causing the sleepiness. You may be taking way too much too.
There are a lot of natural things to help with depression. Diet is a huge factor. If you can safely wean from the cymbalta, please do. My ex had a hard time getting off. Lots of sparks and pains. But he went from being a total cheater to nothing. LOL. we were divorced when he was prescribed it. He said he couldnt be with a woman if he wanted to and he didnt want to. Which for him was saying a lot.
Also you might try giving your husband oral, pleasing him and showing him that you want to want him. Moaning a bit more than what your feeling. For him and his sense of accomplishment. It's like being a cheerleader, you may not be in the game but your rooting him on for a great performance. He's probably feeling a bit unwanted even though its not him that's affecting the loss of desire. I am not a believer in faking, ever, but positive reinforcement is always a good thing. I know my husband makes love to me at times he is wanting more from me than he is wanting for himself. When you love someone you want to please them and sex is a big part of it.
I really hope you find a doc who listens and tries to help. I have the worst luck with docs, lawyers, etc. I had a doc once tell me that I was having period cramps instead of gall bladder pain. I went to an ER in a bigger town, they took my bladder out. Hmmm.
Another doc who said I had to have my appendix out, hmmm, a cystic ovary was the real culprit. But docs words were "oh well you really dont need an appendix anyway." I told the doc I had polycystic ovaries prior to the surgery. He just wanted to do the surgery. He had me convinced it was an appendicitis. Jerk. I refuse to pay that surgery bill.
If your testosterone is low it should be supplemented.
Your doctor is brutal and ill informed.
Find your self another doctor please please please.
Go to your local healthfood store and look at local rags for advertisments on doctors who practice alterntaive medicine and who do hormonal work. If there are no newpapers start asking people who work there... This is the way I found every doctor who was ever worth two cents... and I have done it many times having moved around the country alot. Get several names then call the clinic and ask to talk to some one who can describe the type of work the doctor does... ask for the doctor if you must.
Travel to a big city if you must.
If you stop the cymbalta look into taking 5HTP or SAMe
You will need something and this you can do yourself.
Also add one to two tablespoon of coconut oil daily, raw.
Did you not say you had endometriosis? I am not sure if I am remembering correctly. Iodine has shown to help that and it has helped with many cases of depression also.
No woman can be happy unless she has enough testosterone. Your body just doesn't work right and sex will always be a drag.. to the point of revulsion.
You might have to change your focus and really start doing research on your own... spending time reading alternative physican literature, joining other forums and talking with others.
Your quality of life and marriage is in jeopardy.
You must find a way to find help before everything collapses.
If you keep doing the things you were doing you will get the same results.
Sex counseling will be of little value as this is a biological problem but support from women friends is essential.
I suspect you need bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (not birth control) with testosterone also.. in a troche, not a cream as dosage is more accurate, made in a compounding pharmacy based on your saliva levels of hormones, not blood levels which flux to frequently.
I was prescribed Topomax. DRY, DRY, DRY, with TOTAL lack of interest in anything, as you describe. I stopped taking it, it went away.
I was prescribed Xanax. The effects were like Topomax Lite. But on top of that, I slept 22 hours a day, and would have preferred 24 hours a day. I stopped taking Xanax, it went away.
Yours sounds like a combination of the two, which is horrible!
Due to our environment, how we eat, etc...most people are low on Progesterone, and high in estrogen. Your body will use and needs Progesterone to make Testosterone.
After the birth of my second, I had the same thing, --I thought I was depressed, b/c, along with no libido, I was blah all the time. Went to the doctor and he tested my levels. I was low on testosterone too. I started taking andriol, and things picked up.
I was not on BC pills, and hadn't been for over 4 years.
Flash forward to today. It might be coincidence, it might not be, but since stopping gluten products, the only pill I take is my thyroid pill. I stopped, b/c i had no need for anymore--my pariet for gerd, celebrex for RA, (still take on occasion for flareups, but not needed every day), nor my andriol.
I have not had my levels checked since making the change, but I'm sure they are (not perfectly up there) close to in range.
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Seriously, if you need the testosterone- get it and take it!!!! It seriously helped for me. My husband was extremely patient with me, but how you are feeling is how I felt. The andriol helped. It's not fair to you to feel pressured or to feel obligated to have sex, but at the same time, you are his wife and he deserves/needs to be intimate. I have been there done that. I soo understand what you are going through. Please take the testosterone--you wont' believe how much better you will feel all the way around.
That being said. --And take this for what it's worth. But seriously. since I have stopped gluten products, I have stopped taking ALL of my meds. All of them. I have absolutely no symptoms of anything anymore. No gastric reflux, no arthritis flare ups. I dont' need my B12 injections, and I don't need my andriol (testosterone). It did take a while for the libido to get back up, but it is back up there. And I stopped taking my levothyroxine (hypothyroid). I don't need any of these anymore!!!!!! so, I'm not saying that gloing gluten free will fix your issues, but if you can't get the results you need from the doctor, it is an option you might consider. I now will have some wheat products, but it is always fermented, (as in sourdough).
You both deserve to have this dealt with. And believe me when I say, I know exactly how you are feeling.