Ladies....help me out on this one UPDATE

[miss_thenorth]

Again, I had fibromyalgia symptoms too--all of my sh*t started with the birth of my son, and got worse with the birth of my dd.

For a man, sex is extremely important, and lack of it can be extremely hard on a marriage.

For a woman, one who is experiencing difficulties such as you are, being pressured to have sex makes what you are going through even worse.

So, IME, and opinion, you need to make a commitment to change things --as in your diet. Talk to Chad, ask him if he can please not mention, hint, make gestures or anything of the like--anything sex- related for one month. During this time, the pressure will be off you, and you can set your mind to healing. make sure he knows you want to have a great sex life with him. Make sure he knows you love him, and make sure he knows you need him to help you heal. And in this month, he needs to support you, b/c when all is said and done--you both want the same thing. It is not going to be easy for either of you , but he needs reassurance right now, and you need peace. You CAN get through this.

After one month, talk again to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully things will have changed for the better.

 

[Blackbird]

You just keep that kombucha and kefir that I sent you going. It will help. Like MTN has said she can handle SD bread but not others... Maybe once you go GF it will be the same for you.
Once I know what I'm doing a little bit better, I can send you another starter, or if you can find someone else to send you one before that too. I think I jumped the gun earlier, so it what probably already dead by the time you got it.

Chad needs a good but don't tell him I said so. Granted he is probably just stressed too, but why must everything be all about sex? Call me ignorant but that's not what the cornerstones of a marriage should be. I actually think no libido would be more of a gift!

In the meantime, I vote you put HIM on cymbalta..

 

[miss_thenorth]

I disagree about Chad needing a swat. Remember i went through this too, and all I saw was hurt and confusion on my dh's face, since men are Mr. fix it's, and they can't fix this one. It really affects a man's sense of security.

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

I don't know what my normal basal temp is. No one has ever asked me that. I know my blood pressure is usually on the low side. My dad's body temp is usually on the low side....like if his temp is 99 he has a fever.

I'm just so over it. It all started when I started having major pain in my neck and shoulders in 2000. The doctors told me I had fibromyalgia but then I go to the specialist and he says I have a mild case.
no meds work. I got on the cymbalta 2 yrs ago and that helped a lot but the last 6 months or so I have just really been tired. I fall asleep all over the place. I fell asleep in the car twice yesterday and Chad just looked at me like I was an alien lifeform for falling asleep in the car.

I guess a major diet shakeup is in order. I've been getting puffy around the middle lately and while at 5'9", 160 lbs is not bad, I would like to get back down to 145.

I have noticed that when I drink kombucha I don't crave food as much. I get really tired in the middle of the day and then can't get to sleep until like 11 or 12 at night, even if I don't take a nap with the kids.

Can I make my own brown rice flour?

Fibro is Adrenal Fatigue. Hands down and no argument. But don't tell any "normal" Dr that
My thoughts? Your adrenals have crashed due to being assaulted by gluten. This in turn causes all the hormonal issues.
Low adrenals will allow for "normal" tests, even though things are not functioning correctly.

I second taking 30 days off. Matts RRARF (Rehabilitative Rest and Agressive Re-Feeding) is the very best thing you can do for your body.
It can take 2-3 years to fully heal, but, that initial 30 days will give you your life back, and get body temps back to normal.
If you dad has a low temp and gluten issues, then you do to.

And yes, you can make your own rice flour. BUT!!! do not use the same grinder you grind your wheat, barley, spelt or kamut with.
If you do nto have a choice, then take the whole grinder apart, clean it fully, then grind a bunch of rice through, and use that for your kids food.
Then grind some for you.
I have quite a few good recipes that make going GF easy, and low cost.

 

[Blackbird]

Maybe I'm just biased?
I don't care if it's been a day, a month, or a year. If he is that insensitive and dense that he doesn't see how it affects her and how it makes her feel, yet continues doing that.. Then YES he needs a smack. I'm tired of the excuses people keep bringing up. Simply because he is a man. That makes it ok? Hogwash. Not all men are like that either. It's obviously not all flowers and sunshine for Lori either.

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

Maybe I'm just biased?
I don't care if it's been a day, a month, or a year. If he is that insensitive and dense that he doesn't see how it affects her and how it makes her feel, yet continues doing that.. Then YES he needs a smack. I'm tired of the excuses people keep bringing up. Simply because he is a man. That makes it ok? Hogwash. Not all men are like that either. It's obviously not all flowers and sunshine for Lori either.

BB, until you have been there, well.....

 

[Dace]

BB I love you but I do have to agree with MTN on this one.

Sex is a cornerstone of a healthy marriage and that intimate connection is vital. Chad may not need a smack, he just does not understand the challenges that women can go through....because he is a man.

Hugs, sweetie.....make those diet changes and do let Chad know that you are making changes that you are hoping will have a positive impact. He just needs to know that you care.

 

[Javamama]

Oh sweetie, gosh with these extra clues you've given, i too have to say gluten might be your main enemy. At least you have some great gluten free friends who can help you out here! And you CAN get better.

 

[miss_thenorth]

Maybe I'm just biased?
I don't care if it's been a day, a month, or a year. If he is that insensitive and dense that he doesn't see how it affects her and how it makes her feel, yet continues doing that.. Then YES he needs a smack. I'm tired of the excuses people keep bringing up. Simply because he is a man. That makes it ok? Hogwash. Not all men are like that either. It's obviously not all flowers and sunshine for Lori either.

First BB this is for you

and for some reason it posted before I was done. Now, I dno't know Chad, but if he is anything like my hubby, he is not being insensitive--he is trying to fix things. You're right--not all men are the same. But when you are married, sex is a big part, and as we all know for most women (trying not to be stereotypical here, but...) sex is a very emotional thing. But you know what, it is for men too, but only when they are not getting it. Insecurities can come to the surface so fast, which brings a whole lot of other things, which makes it get so complicated--it just kinds snowballs.

 

[BeccaOH]

dear Lori. Praying you get it all figured out.

I keep learning and relearning so much about how sugar and gluten and even some dairy products affect me in depression/mood/energy as we'll as digestion/skin issues/etc. I love my sweet treats and comfort foods too much. I can stay away from bread pretty well, but I get such a craving for things like cornbread. Go figure.

I wish I could get in the mindset to leave the junk alone. It is hard when those around you don't understand the full effects of food choices on you (and them).

My mother is diabetic and needs to stay away from basically the same things I do, but she can't seem to understand what to cook for herself if she can't boil/fry up potatoes, have a bowl of cereal, or make a sandwich. So instead of conquering our household food issues, I cave to her style.

Struggling along a similar path with ya.