Ladies....help me out on this one UPDATE

[Bubblingbrooks]

dear Lori. Praying you get it all figured out.

I keep learning and relearning so much about how sugar and gluten and even some dairy products affect me in depression/mood/energy as we'll as digestion/skin issues/etc. I love my sweet treats and comfort foods too much. I can stay away from bread pretty well, but I get such a craving for things like cornbread. Go figure.

I wish I could get in the mindset to leave the junk alone. It is hard when those around you don't understand the full effects of food choices on you (and them).

My mother is diabetic and needs to stay away from basically the same things I do, but she can't seem to understand what to cook for herself if she can't boil/fry up potatoes, have a bowl of cereal, or make a sandwich. So instead of conquering our household food issues, I cave to her style.

Struggling along a similar path with ya.

Oh honey! You can make creamy soft cornbread without gluten containing grains!
I am going to run over and start a new thread on natural gluten free, and diabetic friendly foods...

 

[Blackbird]

Like I said, I'm biased.

And yes I do understand that sex is often vital in a marriage, BUT a marriage should not end simply because there is none. Which is what he has been threatening. What kind of message does that give? That sex is the most important subject there. That's not fixing anything. THAT is insensitive. I don't have to be married to see that.
Obviously Lori loves him, that is obvious, if she didn't, she probably wouldn't stay with him.

But how does it go? In sickness and in health?

And I'm sure Lori's husband loves her, too, and is probably stressed, I just think that he needs to cool his jets - even more.

You didn't think I was telling Lori to slap him, did you?

 

[elijahboy]

i have never been married but have been in long term relationships. I will tell you when im fustrated there is no way in >>>> my man is getting any. I have absolutely no desire and dont want to be touched let alone want to think about it. When your fustrated with the day to day then sex becomes another "CHORE" on your list. When the kids are put to bed and all the chores are done then you want to be touchy and feely. If my man comes in the house takes a shower, sits down and eats, puts his plate in a clean sink then gropes me like a construction worker FORGET ABOUT IT. However if he does all the same but brings me a single rose and cleans that one plate while asking me how my day was then its on. granted i dont have a job outside of the house but i make sure all the household chores are done by the time he gets here so he has to do nothing. I warned him early on if i cook all week guess what im only cooking on the weekends if i feel like it. so he cooks breakfast and washes dishes and if he doesnt take us out to dinner then he cooks dinner sat and sun. Fustration plays a big role with me and it may with you. i had to have a sit down with mine and have a talk maybe thats what it might take with you.

 

[BeccaOH]

dear Lori. Praying you get it all figured out.

I keep learning and relearning so much about how sugar and gluten and even some dairy products affect me in depression/mood/energy as we'll as digestion/skin issues/etc. I love my sweet treats and comfort foods too much. I can stay away from bread pretty well, but I get such a craving for things like cornbread. Go figure.

I wish I could get in the mindset to leave the junk alone. It is hard when those around you don't understand the full effects of food choices on you (and them).

My mother is diabetic and needs to stay away from basically the same things I do, but she can't seem to understand what to cook for herself if she can't boil/fry up potatoes, have a bowl of cereal, or make a sandwich. So instead of conquering our household food issues, I cave to her style.

Struggling along a similar path with ya.

Oh honey! You can make creamy soft cornbread without gluten containing grains!
I am going to run over and start a new thread on natural gluten free, and diabetic friendly foods...

I can eat corn any old way, including polenta and mush and tortilla chips and more. LOL But shouldn't I also try to limit the sugary starch of corn (and only by organic)? I do crave starchy things. Pumpkin has been my fall thing.

Sorry to get off on my own cravings here. :/

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

dear Lori. Praying you get it all figured out.

I keep learning and relearning so much about how sugar and gluten and even some dairy products affect me in depression/mood/energy as we'll as digestion/skin issues/etc. I love my sweet treats and comfort foods too much. I can stay away from bread pretty well, but I get such a craving for things like cornbread. Go figure.

I wish I could get in the mindset to leave the junk alone. It is hard when those around you don't understand the full effects of food choices on you (and them).

My mother is diabetic and needs to stay away from basically the same things I do, but she can't seem to understand what to cook for herself if she can't boil/fry up potatoes, have a bowl of cereal, or make a sandwich. So instead of conquering our household food issues, I cave to her style.

Struggling along a similar path with ya.

Oh honey! You can make creamy soft cornbread without gluten containing grains!
I am going to run over and start a new thread on natural gluten free, and diabetic friendly foods...

I can eat corn any old way, including polenta and mush and tortilla chips and more. LOL But shouldn't I also try to limit the sugary starch of corn (and only by organic)? I do crave starchy things. Pumpkin has been my fall thing.

Sorry to get off on my own cravings here. :/

If you are craving starchy foods, then you need to add them into your diet.
Our American diet dictocrats require eliminating non allergin foods in order to keep weight off.
In actuallity, a good balance of starch, protein, fat and other carbs is far better.
Low carb is very hard on the adrenals, hence the reason weight is gained easily when carbs are added back in.
THe body on a limiting diet that has nothing to do with allergies, feels like its being starved.
As soon as the limitation is removed, the weight is packed back on, plus a little bit more for good measuer and to replace the lean muscle mass that was lost.
Yo yo dieting is better called check mark dieting.

I plan on getting a better seperate post on this up soon.

Here it is.
http://www.sufficientself.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=7240

 

[Icu4dzs]

The only health complaint i have right now is sinus problems. After being on many different meds for over 20 years, the list kept growing. Now I am med free,and feeling great.

Try using a neti pot with saline. That might just fix your only health problem. There are no side effects, no allergy problems and the science of it is good.

And yes, I did read this entire string. Apparently, some of you seem to better understand and be more sensitive to the husband than a few of your companions here. I didn't see anything from any man on how men feel. I did see a lot of women stating that they know how men feel...hence the source of conflict.

Most of the issue in this entire string was LoriH's problem and her request for help and support. In many cases that is what is happening. Many here have offered her some dietary advice based on their own results.

Lori is frustrated because all her tests were "within normal limits" which only means that they corresponded to the variations noted in a significant number of people. If she gets the same results as the others have with the diet, then you have helped her. It will be her responsibility to do "the work". Along with that is the entire issue of marriage and sex which I will not approach in a "sea of estrogen dominated beings" because I will be flamed from here to eternity.

In the heirarchy of human need, Air, Water, Sleep, Food and Sex are the top five. A failure of any one of these needs or the ability to satisfy them indicates serious malfunction of the human condition. It is NOT just an issue for men. It is a basic human need. It is built into the system of the human being with the express purpose of continuing the species. It is also true of all other species. Some here recognize the seriousness of Lori's concern and some have issued their own positions which tend to make one think that only men have a sex drive...this is not the case.

Much of what I read here indicated that there have been a significant number of folks on this forum who have experienced "sexual violence" of one sort or another. It would seem to be the case that this can be a major source of the problem as Lori has expressed. Some of you have offered her the suggestion of "counseling" and are concerned for the status of her marriage. Some have offered "alternatives" to the usual "missionary postion" activity...again, good recommendations for considering the needs of both parties. In the end however, this is between LoriH and Chad. I was once informed that "a piece of advice is like a rectum...everybody has one".

Some have given recommendations for the "dryness problem" which are all the result of their own attempts at a solution and which appear to work.

One of the most compelling things in this whole string is the fear and the disdain for the physician's who have told some women that this "is mental" and of course, they must all be nutcases to suggest such a preposterous thing, but in the great scheme of things one consideration seems to be missing.

In "regular medicine" when a man has a problem with ED, the first thing to do is find out if "everything works as advertised". This is done quite easily with the POSTAGE STAMP test. Fixing a string of stamps around the necessary area just prior to sleep will tell in the morning if things "work as advertised" in that the postage stamp string will be broken due to the overwhelming pressure of the change in physiology of a man during REM sleep when he becomes erect (without even knowing it).

If the stamps are broken in the morning, then there is not a "organic" or physical problem...it is a psychological issue. There are many of them. A "broken tool" for whatever reason will NOT work during sleep. PERIOD. HOWEVER, there is NO POSTAGE STAMP test for a woman. This is unfortunate because knowing that the machine works correctly will help to distinguish a physical problem from a psychological one.

Lori was very open about her feelings of anger *(among others) regarding the rape she endured. She appears to equate that event with the advances of her husband and is now very unhappy. That isn't a physical "broken machine issue". The pain of endometriosis is a "broken machine issue" and that can be part of the problem that can't be easily fixed. Apparently there were other issues of her health that entered here.

What seems to come out though is that a significant number of folks who post here have been taking anti-depressant medications and having less than satisfactory results as well as unsatisfactory results with oral contraceptive medications.

"There is NO SUCH THING as a FREE PILL." My wise uncle told me this. Every pill has risks and benefits. Hopefully the benefits will outweigh the risks. It is clear to me that the risks of many of these medications has outweighed the benefits by a significant proportion and many here are unhappy about that. What were the benefits of taking the pills in the first place? O yes, some call it "CHOICE". Then there is the issue of marriage. Why do we get married?

The same question is true for marriage. What were the "benefits" of marriage in the first place and how have they changed? We change as we get older. We are NOT going to stay young and healthy for ever. All the things we suffer are the sum total of our lives before those problems expressed themselves.

Fortunately, as many of you have pointed out, the best treatment for almost all diseases (a few exceptions do exist) is DIET, DIET, DIET and DIET.

Pills are NOT the answer to human disease unless they do keep you alive longer than you would otherwise live without them...(certain heart pills come to mind here.)

We have all be aculturated to believe that death is no longer inevitable but the failing of some doctor rather than the result of our own actions while in this life. I frankly don't think this is a healthy outlook, but trial lawyers have certainly become very rich pursuing that philosophy. More's the pity.

What I do find is that many of you are willing to offer support and help to a friend in need and that is truly what this should be about.
If in the future, TSHTF as many of us tend to believe, then we won't have to worry about all those pills and the reasons for them. We will die when our bodies break and that will be it. We can go to the spirit world and look back at our lives and hopefully be contented with how we "used our talents".

YMMV

 

[Mackay]

Fortunately for Lori she will not have to die when disease comes. She does have recourse..

and there is a test for woman that will indicate much of the why at to why there is no desire... its called a testosternone level.

If it is normal or above then you most likely should be looking for psychological issues... Lori has clearly indicated that it is not a phychological issue due to good performance in the past and her wish to be able to function normally..

This gal has hormone issues and she will do well to find a doctor who knows how to fix them... not too likely all the diet in the world will raise her testosterone.. she has been screwed around with too many abnormal and weird hormones already that will alter and perhaps permanently, physiology of the body. She can be straightened out but diet alone is not going to do it...
If she starts on testosterone over 50 percent of what is ailing her will vanish in just a few months.

We should be able to stay healthy until we die. How successful we are at that will depend on the choices we make, the quality of food we eat, our ability to detox, the good guidance we get, a determination not to accept anything but the best and the intelligence and education to know the difference.

 

[CJW]

The ND-that recommended my hormone replacement with Natural Progesterone-suggested that I double the dose of NP for the first month to get my levels up quicker. It isn't recommended to go further than that with such a high dose.

My husband-well-he loved it!

 

[lorihadams]

stupid internet explorer....I just typed a whole page and it deleted it

Thank you everyone for listening....yes, chad wants to fix it. He wants me to feel good like I used to and it frustrates him that I can't. He lashes out and says something he doesn't mean. I do it too.

Looks like GF is in my future....trying to get rid of it now...I'm on day 2. I may go back to my primary care physician...at least SHE listens. See if I can try some testosterone or progesterone therapy. Maybe try to get off the cymbalta.

Thank you everyone for your advice, hugs, and support. I know I am not the only one that has gone or is going through this issue so that makes things a little easier, knowing I am not alone.

 

[kristenm1975]

Something that's made the world of difference for me is Lithium Orotate, brand name Nutrient Carriers Inc , link below:
http://www.iherb.com/Nutrient-Carri...esearch-Lithium-Orotate-200-Tablets/6766?at=0

I take up to 20 a day, divided into two doses of 10 pills, morning and night without fail. With this, I was able to wean myself off of prescribed lithium, wellbutrin, and one other psyche drug I've forgotten. It's much better for my body, doesn't have the mood-flattening side-effects of the Rx drugs, and doesn't require a doctor.

I can't tell if it's better for the sex drive, honestly, because mine is still missing. I have a feeling this has more to do with the nature of my relationship than the medication or my physiology. My husband put on a lot of weight since we met and I'm much the same as I have always been. Call me shallow, but I cry thinking of how I used to be passionate and sexual and how the blame is placed on me now due to my "low sex drive" rather than on my husband's over-sized belly and jowls. I don't have the heart to tell him that I think this is the issue. He has depression issues that cause him to over-eat rather than exercise. Ironically, I think some of the depression he feels is due to not having enough sex. Ah marriage.

The point being, I wonder sometimes if low sex drive in women is the woman's own inner voice telling her that this is not the right relationship for her, or that something major is missing and needs to be addressed immediately. Just food for thought amongst all the other worthy points in this thread.