MyKidLuvsGreenEgz .. .. COLORADO IS BURNING

[Farmfresh]

Nothing like a death in the family to bring out the worst in people. :/ It just seems to happen that way so often. Just try to console your hubby, contact a lawyer for options, and just think- you never have to deal with them again.

and I will add to that or a marriage! (which also seems to rile folks up)

When you die with no will the property will most likely go through PROBATE court to be divided. Unfortunately if you live in a common law state and the father was married EVERYTHING will probably go directly to his wife.

We have been going through a bunch of legal crap with my dad's estate as well and HE isn't even dead - just incapacitated with Alzheimer's in a nursing home. My GEEK son looked at me the other day and told me to enjoy my property ownership now, because in about ten years he was having us sign things over to our kids to avoid the pain of losing everything to the courts.

A month ago when we traveled to a farming community to see my Aunt and have lunch we passed by a BEAUTIFUL farm... rolling hills studded with BIG walnut an pecan trees, an orchard, ponds, the nice farm house the works! My Aunt told us the farm had 300 acres and has been in PROBATE for over 3 years due to no will!!

 

[TTs Chicks]

so sorry sometimes family just plain sucks whether they are blood or in laws.

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

I would call them back and tell them that you are retaining an attorney. Even if you do not, it might cause a change of mind.

 

[Farmfresh]

I would call them back and tell them that you are retaining an attorney. Even if you do not, it might cause a change of mind.

 

[Holachicka]

I'm so sorry! Seems like your having a rash of bad luck, and I REALLY hope it clears up for you soon. I like the idea of mentioning an attorney, casually stating that he is thinking of contacting one to help straighten this out might open their eyes or minds a bit that he's been pushed around enough and the name calling and accusations and guilt trips are not going to work. Geez, what a way to be supportive mom and sis.

 

[Neko-chan]

...

 

[savingdogs]

I'd just have nothing to do with them and nothing to do with the "stuff" either. There are other ways to manage. I would not waste more energy on this, the good things might already be gone anyway. I would encourage the hubby not to go and embroil himself further with these people.

Sometimes the best way to deal with family is just not deal with them. We pretty much cut off my husband's family about 15 years ago with just one exception and we never made such a good decision in our lives. They were just NOT worth bothering with,and always tried to use materialistic means to get us interested in them. We finally just made the decision to make a clean break from them and ask for nothing and give nothing. We send a card at Christmas and Hubby calls his mom on Mother's day. That is IT. We have not seen them in 15 years and my youngest son has never even met them, my middle son does not remember them. They have not LACKED, they got to know all the nicer people in our family and our chosen friends and that was a much more valuable way to spend our time.

 

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

Okay. It's playing out this way:

Hubby and his sis talked last night. Made him an offer: $x cash plus a COUPLE of the tools and books OR the 2 vehicles, tractor and a COUPLE tools.

Hubby and I discussed. We made a list and priced things online.. riding mower to use as a tractor with that claw thingy and a blade to grade our driveway (that needs it constantly), freezer, cheapo car, a wood lathe, etc. Might even be enough to put some away for mortgage payments in case something happened to his job (which is highly possible ... just and only got a year contract). Might even be able to get a solar panel or windmill, and a battery bank (no clue what those really cost). And we'll be able to make our back 1 acre a huge series of paddocks for the goats and chickens (and maybe a few pigs) with welded wire fencing and t-posts.

Decided it makes sense to take the money, even tho it makes him feel like a sell-out. I keep reminding him he's got some pictures, some of his dad's books and engineering drawings and clothes and favorite boots ... things like that. It's not selling out. It's providing for his family and his future. Besides, who knows how much work he would have had to do to get the vehicles and tractor working great?!?!

We'll put it immediately in the bank, withdraw what we need as needed for home improvements. Once a month, I'll take out what compounds in interest and use that to pay on our mortgage's principle.

Peace of mind. Wow. Never had any before.

NOT selling out.

So he's still going this weekend with a truck to get the few boxes of clothes and pictures and such that his sister will let him have.

 

[Wifezilla]

I think it will save hubby a LOT of brain damage and stress by just taking the money. They would torture him in little ways over the stuff. Dealth by a thousand paper cuts.

Give him some extra hugs and tell him again it isn't worth the grief and his memories are more important than anything.

 

[lorihadams]