Need Advice...

[Slinkytoys]

I'd sit down with the kids' mom and have a heart-to-heart talk. She needs to get some counseling for them (and herself). Your mom is an enabler. She may be nice, but so what? Nice is a 4 letter word too. She knows what he is doing to his kids and doesn't stop it----ergo she is passively giving her permission. Your brother is majorly screwing up his daughters, bless you for trying to help them.
Hopefully a counselor will be proactive for the children and direct their mother to the proper avenues for their well-being.
Slinky

 

[savingdogs]

In reading this thread, it sounds like everyone has already given you great advice I agree with.
A few thoughts I wanted to add that were not said:

You cannot pick your relatives. However you can pick which ones you spend your time and energy on. Your mom has created some of your brother's problems. Be glad you are you.
Personally I'd spend more time and energy with the children and their mom, they sound like nicer people and the girls will need a positive family role model. Sounds like you are elected.
If their mom were smart she would just keep your brother out of the picture as much as possible. You are the "quality" family member and my advice to her would be to ignore the real dad and concentrate on the nice aunt. Someone needs to be thinking about the welfare of the kids.
If you can, I'd stay rather neutral and distant from the rest of your family. Being a little out of touch isn't so bad if your family isn't making you happy. Spend your time with the people who matter. It sounds like you already know who the good and the bad people are. I'd meet the essential family obligations and bow out the rest of the time.

 

[dragonlaurel]

In reading this thread, it sounds like everyone has already given you great advice I agree with.
A few thoughts I wanted to add that were not said:

You cannot pick your relatives. However you can pick which ones you spend your time and energy on. Your mom has created some of your brother's problems. Be glad you are you.
Personally I'd spend more time and energy with the children and their mom, they sound like nicer people and the girls will need a positive family role model. Sounds like you are elected.
If their mom were smart she would just keep your brother out of the picture as much as possible. You are the "quality" family member and my advice to her would be to ignore the real dad and concentrate on the nice aunt. Someone needs to be thinking about the welfare of the kids.
If you can, I'd stay rather neutral and distant from the rest of your family. Being a little out of touch isn't so bad if your family isn't making you happy. Spend your time with the people who matter. It sounds like you already know who the good and the bad people are. I'd meet the essential family obligations and bow out the rest of the time.

Smart advice. Also tell the kids that sometimes when grown ups get mad at each other, they say really mean things - even if it's not true. The counselor for the kids needs to know what happened to help them deal with it.

 

[kcsunshine]

and prayers for what you are about to do. The children need your help. Be prepared - your family will not understand why you are doing it.

 

[Mackay]

I hope things are starting to iron out.

My recommendation is this... if your brother disowns his childen then let that be that.

Do not go after child support. Just get a divorce and full custody for the mom. Help the mom to see what she did to attract such a bumb and help her to not repeat the same error again. This is critical! So many women repeat the same mistake.

She, I assume does not want to raise these kids alone nor spend her life alone. She needs to get clear on what she wants in a mate and to be clear on what she wants as a father for these children. A close examination of the potential partners family is a good indication if she wants to pursue a relationship. If his family history is trash he needs to prove how he can be a good father and mate as some people do overcome their history and upbringing. But she needs to be careful.

The children should not be lied to. They should clearly understand what has happened as their intellectual capacity can tolerate. Be aware that kids are a lot more savy than we give them credit for. On the other hand they do not need to hear perpetual beratting of their biological father. Just let it go.