Pink Fox: its Raining...IN MY HOUSE! :/

[pinkfox]

im thinking this was probably similar...
no one said anything last time I was in about them closing... :/

 

[pinkfox]

not much going on right now. so glad to have my computer back and running...
hand seems to be actually improving, ive actually got some wrist movment, no real strength in it...but actual movment...id say healing is defintly ahead of schedual so that's a good sign.

WBF you still want the ducks?
definatly need to cut back the feed bill for winter.

the quail haven't laid in a couple weeks, even with the little solar light I think their age and short days have sent em haywire. gonna keep the 2 cages of browns I got from WBF but planning on sending the white A&M's to freezer camps, ive got the batch in 1 cage and a batch in the brooder, brooder btch still has another 3 weeks before butcher age yet but ill probably move them out in about a week, they are fuly feathered...
the whites are just too hard to sex...I tried the "foam" check on them and ive either got all girls or no foam lol.

also going to butcher some of the bus, got 3 males I can do a soon as I get enough hand strength back, the girls have a few weeks to see who/if anyone is pregnant (they've been in with the boys) and then I might start culling some of the girls down too.
ill keep the 3 angora, 1 rex male, and right now ive got 4 adult and 2 young rex does that im planning on eeping...im thinging I realy should cut back to 4 does, but which so litters is going to be the deciding factor...these buns have got to start earning their keep either sell, or as meat, I don't care which.

ive got a not so nice mini rex doe who is very likely freezer fodder
Only 1 of her 5 kits survived and hes already had multiple pockets of infection in his back feet that ive ha to lance and drain, good job hes stining cute and sweet, I shouldn't have much issue finding a pet home for him, but I don't wantto br breeding her if shes going to have small wak litters and sickly kits...
...and id like to sell the Holland lop buck since hes a handsome boy and a good example...

gotta get things back on track, I feel myself slipping into darkness and depression...
and I cant let that happen, I don't have the time or enough local support to let that happen...
life only stops for death...and im not dead so...wagons roll!!!

I am SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY missing having a big dog around the place tough...

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Hey lady,

You hang in there!

So glad to hear the wrist is progressing, I'll bet you'll heal up waaaay ahead of schedule.

 

[pinkfox]

well usdaapt tody was about as helpful as an umberella with holes in it...
if I want the loanive got to have a field line drawing (even if I don't need new field lines) doesn't matter if I don't have the cash...her suggestion.
have the septic guy pay for it then add it to the quote....OMG seriously you expect a business to upfront costs?! nt sure what planet that is but It must be nice...

so tomorrow ive got to make a couple calls see who I need otcontact to get them out here for the drawing, then see how much itll cost so I now how much I need to find...

door window and lectrical upgrades shouldn't be a problem, but ac installation is too expensive riht now...
septic is first, then insulation ad door, then electrical...if theres anything left over and/or once ive paid down that stuff, I can reconsider electric...

I may skip the insulation and do that myself, the house isn't that big and it wouldn't be all that hard to instal rolled insulation myself once my wrist is working...my house isn't difficult to heat even with junky insulation.


did my grocery shopping...forgot the cat food *doh*
picked up rabbit and 1/2 the chicken feed for the month and yeah feed bill is gonna kill me if I don't do something soon.
definatly need to thin the herd so to speak...

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Nothing like the gov sending you running in circles, huh? Well, keeping my fingers crossed that it'll all work out - eventually....geeze.

I hear you on the feed bill issue.... I finally kinda counted critters here the other day and including quail, chickens, goats, geese, horses, dogs....I've got over 200 mouths to feed. Now - most of 'em are the feathered variety, but it's still a whole lot of hungry critters....

Hope you have a great weekend!

 

[pinkfox]

ll septic issue could be sorted, dads offered me the money...but theres a catch...
he wants me to realy think about moving back home for a few years...

they reacently moved onto 5 acres in NJ, beautiful, quiet, but now hes worried about mum, hes working longer hours than before and is stressed, and mums become housebound, she doesn't like driving in general and there now further away from any major metros...my siblings (one of which is housebound himself due to disability) are of little to no help...
dads also realizing his dreams of a little homestead cant come true without help, help that my mum cant offer due to double rotator cuff issues, and my siblings cant (or wont)...

he also sees me struggling...I mean were not even 2 weeks into the month and ive got $30 left after payingbills feed costsand household nesceities...the house needs all this work and im screwed if anything major happens...heck the septic was a wakeup call but least I can borrow money form the usda for that, but that's pretty much it...teyll cover a few other thigns that need sorting out...but that's the available funds pretty much gone. im going ot need a new roof in the next 2 years and theres no chance...
and as my wrist has proven, I get sick or injured and im in deep....

add to that ive been here 2 years now and while ive made advancement with my plans, im just digging myself deeper into debt an not seeing enough return on my own...I physically cant do all the thngs I need to to make this run smoother on my own, despite what I like to tell myself.
add to that the stress of the odd neighbors, the cut in the food budget and general case of loneliness and im definatly thinking it should be a serious consideration...

dads happy to take in the livestock, he'll help with food costs in exchange for shares in production (ie sales of babies, milk, meat, eggs, furs ect...)
and theyd convert the garage into a mostly self contained living space for me...
help out around the house and geneally be company for mum.

I figure eit would give me 2-3 years to pay off my credit card debt, save up a little money and get a better idea for the future...dads still talking about buying 20 acres her in TN or someplace similar in the next 3-5 years on which id be welcome to build my own little house completely separate from theirs...or I could save and buy an rv and spend a few years traveling...ect...

my biggest worry is moving there and getting stuck in the same funk ive found myself in here...ive got a few friends her, all be it I don't get to see them often but they are there...
but back up north would put me back close to all my favorite ren faires.

it wont be until spring since we don't want to be trying to move and settle livestock right now (there already getting snow and stuff up there)
but I need to let dad know fairly soon so they can start figuring out the living space...

ive got to talk to my case worker and find out if I coul put this house up for rent without it effecting my disability...if not ill have to sell it...
either way the septic still needs fixing electrical still needs upgrading (though there wont be any central air going in) i could definatly do with replacing the kitchen door and window and the kitchen counter top (which thanks to a bare edge has now started to swell and crumble all along the front)and sorting out the bathroom...which i already have most of the stuff for anyway
renting would be better as with the usda loan toget the septic done ill owe more than the house is currently valued at..., id rather not forclose ince id like to clear my credit rather than smash it to pieces...but its not something i haven't considered in the past...and heck if rentings not an option it might be a better route than spending the money to get everything fixed lol.

im just kinda up in the air right now...ive been feeling loney and like im slowly drowning for a few months now...this might be the life preserve i need to get my head above water...but i haven't had toanswer or justify myself to nayone for 2 years now...that might be the hardest part...


Oh and n a completely unrelated note...
the last of dustys kittens whent home yesterday...down to just 2 cats since tempi hasn't been home in about 2 months :/

 

[Denim Deb]

Pinky, if you were to move back home, I agree that you'd need you're own living space. Just make sure that if they do convert the garage into living space for you that the township is OK w/it. And, you'd need to set some ground rules. I would not want to move back in w/my parents, nor have either of my kids move in w/me.

 

[pinkfox]

tey re planning on converting the garage anyway and already looked into planning and zoning, wont be an issue as long as theres no plumbing involved...
and yes ground rules WILL be inplace, thankfully were close knit in term of relationship, realy the main reason I moved out ws simply because I wanted livestock ad coulnt do it in ct...now we could...it would solve alotof issues...
but thered be rules, not only for living situation, and house but also for livestock...if they want full shares they will all need to pitch in in terms fo feed costs and help for the 2 man jobs...

I spent all day talking to mum and I think this is the best option for us all...I realy worry about her...
we talked aboutmy concerns, primarily my concern on not having to explain myself for the past 2 years and she swears that id retain that right, that ive proven over the past couple of years that I do indeed know when enough is enough when to thin down, mae the hard choices ect...
I also mentioned that it might be 3 dogs...and she said that would be fine as long as there not expected to take over (though pet sitting for a weekend here or there is fine by them lol)

still got much to think about...
but after talking to them, and my therapist, I think this could be a good thing all around.

and now it seems tallies moma might be coming to live with me if we can arrange pick up...
she adopted her out to a family and its not working out, from what I understand through no fault of her own...more a personality clash...she likes to sleep on the couch or bed and they don't want her on the furniture ect, shes also "needy" not separation anxiety needy just in the "your going in there ill come" "your goinginside don't leave me out here" "leave the potty door open a crack so I know the shower didn't eat you" needy...which isexctly hwo I think every dog hould be lol...they should want to be with me...so I told her if its not working out if they can meet me 1/2 way Id love to have her...ive alredy discussed this yesterday and again today with the parents because of the possibility f me moving back and they are both fine with it assuming, shes housebroken/crate trained...they actually seem excited at the proepect of their gsd puppy that there planning in the spring would have a "big dog" to play with.

but we'll see, that's all still in the air, trying to make a conection with the new owner to see what we can arrange in terms of pick up. left a message with my number and email address...*fingers crossed*

 

[snapshot]

Wow! Sounds like you have some big decisions to make. Doesn't life just keep you guessing? Never know what is coming around the bend. It does sound good financially for you. I hope it will actually work for the best for all of you!

 

[Denim Deb]

If you do move to Jersey, or even just come up for a visit, if you're going to be crossing from Delaware into Jersey, LMK. Maybe we could meet up for dinner someplace.