Quail_Antwerp: Words from the Barnyard...

[Quail_Antwerp]

well, we're all set up for E's "surprise" party that he knows is happening couldn't figure out how to get him out of the house for the morning, and every time I asked someone or made an excuse that I thought would get him out, he asked why? he was so suspicious i finally told him 2 days ago.

Been planning it since January, so he was still surprised, and he's promised NOT to tell anyone coming that he knows about it, though we won't get to yell surprise or anything.

My mom came early and she helped me get all set up and went with me to pick up his cake. he has been very good about not peeking at his cake. He even told me to cover the top of the box with a towel, so he can't see it, because he knows I was really trying to surprise him.

The meat and cheese tray looks delicious - veggie tray, too - and i'm half afraid i won't be able to wait the 2 hours we have until party time!!

 

[Farmfresh]

It is SO nice being able to hear from you on a more regular basis. We missed you when you had to travel to access the internet.

I hope that E and the rest of you have a great day!

 

[FarmerDenise]

congrats on the baby news!!!

Wishing every on at your house a great day today!

And I am really happy that you are back online with DSL to boot

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

the party went well. most everyone has left already - except my aunt debbie and my cousin are still here and helping me put things on a baby registry LOL she said, "List everything you'd LIKE to have but don't really think people will buy for you as well as things you need to have."

LOL

Ya'll should see how excited my aunts are that we're having a girl!!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I've been pretty open with ya'll about what we've been through here - things that were brought to our attention last year, and how it ended this year.

I still don't feel normal - and don't feel like things have been normal for us. Then again, what is normal?

This is an excerpt from my most recent blog post -

I am feeling Baby Girl moving a lot more. I was worried about that for awhile, because it just seems like I felt the others moving a lot earlier than I felt her. I blame it on the extra padding - all that extra weight I hadn't lost after the others. I hadn't felt any movement until the night before our 20 week ultrasound. I was actually 19 weeks and 5 days, but close enough. She was very active during the sonogram, and her heartbeat has been consistently in the 160's, so I don't know why I've been so worried.

That's not entirely true. I do know one reason why I've been worried, but I'm scared to talk about it.

We'll sum it up to say that I'm scared. Scared to have another little girl, scared that I may fail in protecting her from the evils in the world.

There's a lot more to it than that, but I'm just not ready to put it into words, to really deal with it. But the fear is there all the same.

Other than E's dad, NO ONE in his family knows we're having this baby. And his Dad only learned 3 days ago that we're having a girl. He's promised he won't tell any of the other idiots he sired, but there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he's just telling us what we want to hear. I know he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

Still, the other idiots didn't know about Baby Boy until after he was born, and my FIL knew the whole pregnancy - and he didn't breathe a word. Maybe he won't this time, either.

I hope he understands why I'm so paranoid about it, I mean, he was in the court room when DD gave her testimony - and he came out as white as a sheet and shaking with anger.

I need to know - is there any woman out there who made it to adulthood untouched?

I know I should be thinking on happier things, and most days I do really well with that - like pink and purple butterflies and putting cute girly things on a registry and how fun it will be to decorate a room for both my girls!

Then other days, or even just a moment in the day, the fear and worry creeps in.

Yesterday was a good day, though, and we got a lot of cute pictures taken of the family and of me and E and my belly. I only have one so far to share, though, as the rest are in my camera and I can't find the cord to it.

 

[Farmfresh]

I understand. In answer to your question YES there are girls who are not touched in a bad way. LOTS and LOTS of them. It is just hard to imagine because of the reality that we have had to face.

There will be problems in this little girls life. God lays trials at everyone's door way. That is how we learn to be the people that HE needs us to be. This baby was a GIFT from God. HE has a special purpose for her entire life all ready. HE knows her future and HE knows that she is just the EXACT right person to do the jobs that he has laid out before her.

Relax in the knowledge that she belongs FIRST to HIM. He will take care of everything.

 

[Wannabefree]

This girl will come into the world with the protection of a smart big sister! DON'T forget that This could be a healing process for her, and an added protection for the little one. I would have killed if anybody(but me ) even thought of laying a finger on my little sister!!

I have read your prior postings, and know to a degree, actually more than I want to know. It is sickening, and I hurt for your little girl. I do know though that things happen all the time that are negative, some worse than others, some not, and the way a person handles the situation is to move on from it in either a positive or negative way. I believe your DD has all the tools to move on in a positive way, and will be a blessing to others for it, including the little missy on the way.

They'll be a lifelong blessing to each other. There is something about a sister that nothing else compares to, not even mother/daughter relationships, something special. It has a certain healing quality within the relationship itself. I wouldn't worry too much

 

[Denim Deb]

QA, I'm not sure exactly how to word this, so I hope I don't accidently hurt you. And, in a way, it's easy for me to say, because this didn't happen to my daughter. But, if it had, this is they type of advice I'd want someone else to give me.

You may be feeling w/your older daughter that you let her down some how w/what happened to her, may even have feelings of guilt. You may even blame God, and feel that He didn't do His job. And, it's OK to feel that way. But, even though what happened to your daughter was a horrible thing that no child should ever have to experience, God let it happen for a reason. We do not know nor may we ever know on this side of glory what that reason was. But, He knows, and He's promised to work all things out for good, to them that love Him, and are the called according to HIS purpose. And that's what we need to remember. He has a purpose in everything that happens, even if we can't understand, nor agree w/it.

So, when we're hurting, or feel betrayed, we can go to Him, and know that He'll not only hears, but He cares, and can give us comfort that no one else can.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Thank you, ladies, for the positive messages. And i know ya'll are right, I just have to keep reminding myself that this too will pass, and I'm strong enough to take it. And get over it.

But onto better things - I AM SO OVER CHICKENS!!

Did I say that loud enough? This morning I listed everything up for sale EXCEPT my Blue Laced Red Wyandottes, my Sumatras, Coro Splits, Bantam Cochins, and Blue Orps. If everything sells that I listed, I'll be down to just 17 chickens.

The turkeys, of course, stay. Mallards and Muscovies, stay. Silver Appleyards are sold already, being picked up tonight.

Most of my chicks in the brooders are being picked up tomorrow evening.

I just want to focus on the things that we actually made money on. Everything else, goes - well, the exception is my pair of Pilgrim Geese. They'll stay and have another chance to prove themselves, but for now, they're at a solid F- due to failure to hatch a single egg - and her laying only 8 eggs!

The Sebbies were sold a couple months ago because they had a solid F--- so no second - or rather third- chances for them.

I will still have the call ducks, too, but the pair of whites will probably go up for sale soon.

Lots to do today, so I'll leave ya'll now with a few birthday pics from Saturday!

 

[freemotion]

I haven't been keeping up with all the forum stuff lately, but just have to jump in here....

All of your children will be safer now that your eyes are wide open. Talk with them all regularly....even the boys....about how to react if someone makes them uncomfortable in any way. Talk about inappropriate secrets. Talk about the lies predators tell and the ways they get children to keep secrets.

And most of all, trust your instincts and keep your kids close, and teach the older ones to keep an eye on the younger ones and on each other. Don't let anyone be alone with one of your kids.....for example, if one gets a babysitting job, you drive them to and from, or insist that the wife ONLY drive them to and from.

Don't force your kids to have physical contact with anyone. I have had many parents tell their kids to give me a hug. No. I don't allow it unless the child shows a lot of enthusiasm for me and wants to hug me....if there is the slightest bit of reluctance, I quickly stick out my hand and say, "How about a handshake?" The kids love that. The parents get a tactful explanation right then if possible (the kids need to hear it, too) or later if for some reason it is inappropriate at that moment. Children need to know that they do not have to have ANY physical contact with anyone if they are not comfortable with it, and that they can say no to any adult about this. As you know, most predators are someone the child/parents know well. Or think they do.

You are doing a great job and your daughter will grow up to be strong and secure and well-adjusted, since you talk about it and took action. You cannot prevent everything, but you sure can create a healing environment. She will grow up to be twice as strong and no one will touch any children on her watch! She will be a champion. Thanks to you.