Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this

[freemotion]

Please think about your children FIRST. If you can't bring yourself to protect yourself because you are stunned and confused....get out of that state RIGHT NOW for the sake of your children. You can be stunned and confused about your relationship with him (been there, first husband) but take action NOW to protect the interests of your children. Sending one's kids away because one is bored and tired of them is not the way anyone loves their children. Maybe he loved them in the past, but girl, he is not loving them now. This WILL damage their psyche. I'm so sorry you have to be the grown-up alone in this right now. But you do. You are the only hope those kids have right now.

So don't leave that house until you have a lawyer hired and papers drawn up for a legal separation, and written proof of all assets and bank acounts, etc. It is amazing how quickly things will "disappear" the moment your back is turned. It is one thing for you to trust him for yourself, but you have to protect your children. Women really get raked over the coals in these situations because we never expect our sweetheart to behave in any way that we would not behave. But it happens every day. Please don't let it happen to your kids.

Sorry, I do tend to be very direct when it comes to protecting children. I know you are suffering right now. But I am lovingly but firmly taking you by the shoulders and giving you a little shake to snap you out of this and into action. Be a mama bear and protect those kids, just in case he does not come to his senses. Maybe it is the heat or something else, but meanwhile, just getting a lawyer will snap him out of it if that is the case.

 

[savingdogs]

Well put, Free, I was just trying to think of a way to say that.

That you take steps to protect yourself is one of the ways you show him not to treat you this way, whether you go forward with this marriage or not.

But I don't think this is a time for a new hobby for hubby, to tell you he was bored would be one thing, but bored and you-guys-need-to-move-out takes it to another place. I think you want him to snap out of this, but he has already put something ahead of you and the kids to want to live in a different household.

 

[MorelCabin]

DON'T overreact yet! This could be anything...be prepared in your heart for anything, but don't jump him like gangbusters yet...TALK TO HIM! I might be naive, but f he is thnking about having an affair, then perhaps he needs to now you love him and need him...don't men thrive on that?
Is he a Christian like you? only YOU know your husband...only YOU know how far you should go to protect yourself, or maybe you need to make yourself more vulnerable in his eyes...YOU know him, we don't. You need to get on your knees and ask God for wisdom in this situation. Ask God to show you what you should be doing.

 

[TanksHill]

I'm sorry for your situation.

I would talk with him straight up. Find out whats going on. Talk honestly and be prepared for anything.



Stay strong!

 

[freemotion]

A Christ-like man would never send his wife and children away, no matter how "bored" he was with them.

 

[Wifezilla]

EVERYTHING freemotion said. x2

 

[rebecca100]

Well I am in town now letting the kids play in the park. I talked to dh last night. He definitely doesn't want to be with me. He said the kids had nothing to do with it. I told them this morning that he wasn't happy wouldn't be living with us anymore. That was really hard to do. I didn't bad mouth him at all. I just told them he wasn't happy anymore and wasn't going to be with us for a while.

 

[valmom]

So don't leave that house until you have a lawyer hired and papers drawn up for a legal separation, and written proof of all assets and bank acounts, etc. It is amazing how quickly things will "disappear" the moment your back is turned. It is one thing for you to trust him for yourself, but you have to protect your children. Women really get raked over the coals in these situations because we never expect our sweetheart to behave in any way that we would not behave. But it happens every day. Please don't let it happen to your kids.

x3! Been there, done that. I had a wonderful lawyer who stuck up for the kids and me when I was curled up in a ball and unable to do much of anything. You would be amazed how fast assets disappeared from everywhere! And how long it took him to doctor up the financial statements to look worse than they were. I had 3 years of living on sufferance while all that was being ironed out- my first experience with SS thinking with two kids who were 2 and 5 at the time. Begging for grocery money and oil money isn't a happy thing.

A lawyer might be a good person to talk to just in case- if it isn't needed, then it isn't and no one but you need to know that you were setting up to take care of yourself and your kids. If it turns out to be needed, you will be that much more in power. Be a momma bear! My kids are better off financially now than I will ever be because of my lawyer, and I never have to worry about them (financially, anyway! )

 

[MorelCabin]

Maybe you should have him get checked for a brain tumour. How can a man change so much in such a short time? Or has this been building up maybe? If this came out of the blue than something is happening...and it can come back around to the way it used to be if you guys can talk it out and find out what the basis of his issue is.
Sounds to me like he is hiding something...or very confused about something

 

[FarmerChick]

Well I am in town now letting the kids play in the park. I talked to dh last night. He definitely doesn't want to be with me. He said the kids had nothing to do with it. I told them this morning that he wasn't happy wouldn't be living with us anymore. That was really hard to do. I didn't bad mouth him at all. I just told them he wasn't happy anymore and wasn't going to be with us for a while.

get a good lawyer right now.

so sorry this happened to you but life moves forward with good situations in the future for you...doesn't seem that way right now, but it will be...you have to get thru the hard times first