Savingdogs-Saving the chickens

[Farmfresh]

Hang in there kiddo, the sun will shine again.

I REALLY do understand the process that you are going through. The whole prospect of SSI disability has me in a fog as well. I have people telling me that I need to start the process NOW because it takes so long, yet I am still able to work on most days, plus I feel just plain old lousy at the prospect of being really and truly considered disabled.

I remember when I was first so down. My hubby asked the doctor about a handicapped parking tag for the car- against my wishes I might say, since I kept insisting that I would be "fine" - because HE realized how hard it was to take me anywhere and get me in the building. I was actually shocked when the doctor readily agreed to the suggestion. Then I felt mildly relieved. When I went to the motor vehicle place to get my tag I was TOTALLY shocked to get a new plate for my truck in addition to the hang tag.

When I got home I sat down and read the paper work and then it hit me ... this was a PERMANENT handicapped license plate. Permanent. I guess until then I really had not faced the facts. I cried for about three days BIG pity party. I still tear up when I think about it.

I don't honestly even know how to go about the whole process of filing for SSI and then someone said something about "partial disability" filings? The fact of the matter is that we NEED my income. If I did get down a while and lost my job we would be in trouble.

As far as reducing the flock, there are two ways to look at it. With the extra chickens you at least have some extra money coming in and "food on the hoof" if you need it. I took the second route and did the flock reduction thing years ago. I went from 50 laying hens to between 3 and 6 hens that I keep now, plus raising my turkeys and broilers each year. I made the choice I did partly because I had to keep the layers at my D1's house on her acreage, so I had to figure gas mileage into the costs as well. So far gas works out on the meat birds, partly because I have to drive past D1's on the way to work anyway. Not having your own ground is a real liability.

As far as the property is concerned .. hang on.. surely there is a way to have the land help pay for itself at least a little bit.

You may not be able to hear anymore, but that does not affect the way I hear you. There are many ways to stay connected.

 

[framing fowl]

I don't know what to say. I wish we were closer so I could just sit quietly beside you.

 

[savingdogs]

Thank you FarmFresh, I see you know how I feel. I WANT to work and be productive. I don't want any of this. I keep wishing I could go back to that place where I was at five years ago, when I knew my friend, and we giggled over wine and discussed religion and our kids growing up and how our flowers looked in our garden. It seems like such a carefree time compared to now. I just wished for a piece of it back.

Framing Fowl, I wish you could be here too.

 

[Shiloh Acres]

SD, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.

I do know how it is to face reminders of a "past life" ... Guess I don't really want to go into details of mine, but, it's sad when you have to lose friends because you can't face what you've lost, and it reminds you of it to be with them.

Yikes, if I keep that up, I'll just start saying the wrong thing and bringing us both down. I guess I don't know what to say.

I hope you can focus on the good things in life, whatever it is that brightens your day, in any small way. I know I've spent a lot of time noticing the smell of the cedar trees in warm air, feeling how soft my kitty's fur is, making rustic decorations with twigs and twine, trying out different salsa ingredients. Whatever it is that can remind you of what you DO have instead of focusing on what you don't.

And I hope you do get to visit your sister and your mom. I hope your husband can understand how much it would mean to you and you can work it out.

My prayers are with you, SD!!!

 

[Denim Deb]

FF, I think you just hit the nail on the head. None of us who suffer from something permanent want to admit that it isn't going away. We want our life back, and at time feel cheated.

I know the easiest way I deal w/my MD is to NOT think about it-unless I get an attack. We're kind of like little kids that pull a blanket over our heads w/the idea that if we can't see anyone, they can't see us.

Another thing I've found that helps is to not think about what may happen in the future. I may lose my hearing tomorrow. I may get too dizzy to get up tomorrow. Or, I may continue to be one of the lucky ones. But, if I worry about tomorrow, I get depressed, stressed and burned out. There's a verse in the Bible, I can't recall exactly what it says, but it talks about not borrowing trouble from tomorrow. And, that's what we need to do. I've also heard it said that the majority of the things that we worry about never happen, and that if we wrote down today the 10 things that worry us most, then not look at the list again for a year, that we will have forgotten what they were.

 

[Farmfresh]

This is why I love having Christian friends on here! I found that verse Deb.

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

You are absolutely right! We can have all of the pity parties we want to or we can "what if" ourselves to death or we can get our "big girl" panties on and ENJOY our lives as God intended.

Life goes on ...oobla dee ohbla dah ... I am never going to be a wirey 20 something ever again. No matter what my other problems - time marches on.

At least my hubby has been using his thinking cap about my situation instead of letting me live under that proverbial blanket. He is making me use my head and figure out a better way. A way I can keep the most I am able and enjoy where I am in life to the fullest. Sure there are LOTS of modifications, but together we can do it.

Now ... just step away from that blanket! :bun

 

[savingdogs]

Thanks you guys, you are 100 percent right. I want to memorize that verse.

I read somewhere that we can be happier people if we work on thinking happier thoughts. Sounds too simple but it used to work for me.

I just heard from an old friend, high school buddy that I dated but we were always friends and never serious. His health is so much worse than mine, it humbled me today to read what he said in a note to use on Facebook. I'm not staring my own mortality in the face like he is (advanced Type 1 diabetes). He and I are only 51, it is not like we have had a "full" life....but at least I can look forward to mine and I see he is "winding up" his affairs. Sad. We were never especially close so I'm not emotionally drained from this, but rather it makes me realize I don't have it so bad.

Especially when I have nice friends like you. I agree Farmfresh, the spiritual/religious aspect to this group is very good for me...it is what I am currently seeking, more happiness through God.

 

[Farmfresh]

51!!!! WOW YOU ARE OLD!!!

Sorry I had to say that. My hubby turned 51 this last week.


Here is another little saying to learn ..

When I used to work at an amusement park they had HUGE signs posted everywhere "behind the scenes" of the park. The signs read...

"Smile until you MEAN it!"

Oddly it is an idea that works! They have even done scientific studies that prove that one smiling person leads to a snowball effect of smiling people!

So here is one to "get the ball rolling"!

 

[Denim Deb]

Another good verse to remember is Romans 8:28. (Hope I've got that right. I don't know where I put either my Bible or my keys when I got home from church today.) For we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose.

We may not know why God allows things to happen to us. SD was strengthened by hearing from her friend, and doesn't feel that she has it as bad. I'm strengthened by hearing from SD and FF, and don't feel that I have things as bad. Even w/my SIL's death, God has a purpose. I don't know what it is, but God does. I'm reminded of Joseph in the Bible, sold into slavery, then rises to power. But he tells his brothers that while they meant it for evil, it was all part of God's plan and purpose. (OK, I'm paraphrasing here.)

Personally, I'm blessed by this group. I'm a loner by nature and don't have a lot of RL friends. I'm just too different from most people. But, I fit into this group, and feel comfortable here. I love that I can come on here, and read something that someone else has written that brings a blessing to me. And, I hope that I can do the same for others.

 

[LovinLife]

Another good verse to remember is Romans 8:28. (Hope I've got that right. I don't know where I put either my Bible or my keys when I got home from church today.) For we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose.

We may not know why God allows things to happen to us. SD was strengthened by hearing from her friend, and doesn't feel that she has it as bad. I'm strengthened by hearing from SD and FF, and don't feel that I have things as bad. Even w/my SIL's death, God has a purpose. I don't know what it is, but God does. I'm reminded of Joseph in the Bible, sold into slavery, then rises to power. But he tells his brothers that while they meant it for evil, it was all part of God's plan and purpose. (OK, I'm paraphrasing here.)

Personally, I'm blessed by this group. I'm a loner by nature and don't have a lot of RL friends. I'm just too different from most people. But, I fit into this group, and feel comfortable here. I love that I can come on here, and read something that someone else has written that brings a blessing to me. And, I hope that I can do the same for others.

I'm so glad I read this, this morning. It's beautiful and makes me feel very hopeful. Thank you for posting.