Savingdogs-Saving the chickens

[sunsaver]

Just hang on to the good memories, SD. Trust in God that this world is a sort of proving grounds, not your final destination. My beloved aunt recently died in a heroic attempt to save a small child from getting run over by a truck. The child survived, but my dear Aunt was run over and died from her injuries. She is my hero, and i will love her forever.

 

[Denim Deb]

SS, that's so sad.

It's never easy to lose someone to tragic circumstances. And it's not an easy thing to get over. There are still days I find myself crying over the fire that claimed the lives of the family across the street from me. And, that's been almost 30 years ago.

 

[Farmfresh]

The hay pile is growing, so far it is just on a pallet with a tarp, but we are going to clear out a shed we are not really using on our property that is a little distance from the goat pen, so it won't be very convenient, but it will work. It is nice and dry and covered, we just need to have it closer to the pen before winter, or maybe teach the dogs to drag a sled to drag it through the snow or something.

Maybe you could just build a winter pen closer to the hay supply?

 

[savingdogs]

We found out the "real event" for the public is today and we are going. Yesterday's event was just for the town of BG. While I would have felt more comfortable there, I realize I know tons of people going to this event today, at least six or eight families, so we won't feel out of place. I won't be able to hear the service of course but that should help my make-up. I'm a real crier and will be seeing a lot of people who have not seen me since I became deaf. That is always hard for me because people are shocked and saddened at the change in me and that always makes me depressed that people are saddened I've changed. I used to be such a huge talker and put myself in the middle of every conversation, it was always all about ME, kind of a social butterfly. So to see me quietly sitting by the sidelines scares people. Now I can't follow the conversations. These people remember me when I considered myself a FORCE and I was moving mini-mountains in my community, all the reasons I knew Mike. So I hope I don't crumble and turn into a vertigo mess. This is the issue with people with my disease, it is so embarassing to lose your balance and start barfing when you were fine a moment before, or when you don't turn your head when people call you. The other day my hubby's co-worker recognized me in the market because I DIDN'T turn my head when she called my name.

Of course I can't hear at all today. *kicks wall, stubs toe*
I just WISH I could pick the days I can hear. I wish God would just give me today.

So I'm trying on all my different black clothes, can seem to find the right thing for a hot summer day. My black things that are summery are more meant to be sexy (and hardly ever get worn!) and that isn't right for a funeral. Since it is officially a "celebration of life" I've finally picked something khaki actually with a black blouse that isn't too hot but has a filled in neckline at least, I hope people think that is okay. Computer Nerd is going and came out in a T-shirt he got somewhere that says So and So's Funeral Home, I think it is a joke. I told him to go change. He said he was actually just trying to make me smile. My younger son did not want to go, there is a big festival in our more local town going on, and he wants to hang out with his friends real bad. He was pretty little when we were around Mike so we let him leave with his friends. Trouble tends to be a little morbid and I wasn't crazy about him going anyway. I don't want him deciding to become a cop or anything noble like that, he has already thought about that as a way to work with dogs as a career. We already have a nephew that is a firefighter and we worry enough about him.

Well I guess I have to shower and try to repair my face. Believe me, I'd rather stay here and chat with y'all.....

 

[Denim Deb]

As hard as this is going to be for you, you NEED to go. There are times that I wish I had gone to the funeral for my neighbors. But, I wasn't, at that point in time, mature enough to have handled it. And, I've struggled w/that at times since. This will not only give you a chance to say goodbye, but you will also be able to show support for the family.

 

[Wannabefree]

Praying for God's peace to wash over you Funerals are tough

 

[abifae]

 

[sunsaver]

Funerals are tough! Im a crier too, and even a cheesy kids movie can make me well up. Not very manly, huh? Good luck with your make-up issues. I wish i could give you a volume control knob. Your disability makes my mental problems seem pale in comparison. All i can say is thanks for sharing them with us. I wish there was more i could do to help.

 

[gettinaclue]

I'm very sorry SD. What a terrible way to find out an old friend has passed. I hope the funeral isn't to bad. I can't stand them. May God bless and keep your family in his in this terrible time.

Nikki

 

[savingdogs]

They did a beautiful job, touching....I had never been to a police funeral before, so many officers in uniform, doing intricate maneuvers and I guess traditional police things.....bagpipes? I've never seen so many men in uniform looking solemn. We parked right next to our old next-door neighbors and dear friends, who I had most hoped to see, so we walked in with them and sat with them. I think I've already told the story of how Hubby and the dad of the family had a little too much fun on the 4th of July one year when he returned from serving in Iraq. But it felt good to be surrounded by "family" like that. It was rather surreal, they had his motorcycle next to the casket, and they even started it at the end of the ceremony, right in the church! Also, they had the 21 gun salute inside the church. That was one of the only things I heard, except the bagpipes. It was kinda awful, People were telling stories of his life and such. I could tell when they came to sad parts because everyone picked up their tissues and even men cried, and then when someone told something funny about him, they would all relax and look at each other. It felt very very long to me. I was weeping so much the lady next to me gave me a tissue. I was thinking awful thoughts like, is this what my mother's funeral someday (she is elderly) and the funerals of other loved ones eventually will be like, I won't be able to HEAR it? Won't even know what the people said? So that was too hard to think about, so I sang inside my head Jackson Browne's For a Dancer and Eric Claptons If I Saw You in Heaven.

We also ran into a few old friends, as I suspected we would, one really surprised me, we did not know who-all knew this man. We also learned that his wife had filed for divorce one WEEK before he was drowned....and that they had been separated a year. I cannot imagine how she must be feeling today, my sadness for her just doubled or tripled. And during that same year, he had found Jesus and became a Christian (I was surprised he wasn't one before), just in the last 10 months, and his dad said that he and Mike had had a huge conciliation in their lives at that point as well. I felt worst of all for his dad, no man who raises a man as good as that should have to speak at his funeral.

Oh, and Amazing Grace is TERRIBLE on the bagpipes. They should have let the friend I was with sing, she has the voice of an angel. They were saying it is the police way though. I also thought a 21 gun salute would be 21 booms, not three.

The whole thing was surreal.