SheriM - Too Stubborn to Stop Dreamin' - SURPRISE!!!

[Quail_Antwerp]

Honestly, I got to where they put the tourniquet on ya.... It's like reading my own worst nightmare...gotta stop, get a cup of joe or something...and come back and try to finish reading the rest....I could feel an anxiety attack building up and I only got to the tourniquet!

Sheri, you are by far braver than I am...they would have to physically tie me down, or knock me out, or both...because just the thought of a machine barely from my nose..............I'd seriously would have had a melt down, whether I could see the ceiling or not....

I promise, I'm going to try to finish reading the rest, but it's like trying to force yourself to peak at the scary parts of a movie!!


I hope you are feeling better so soon!!

eta: ok, I finished it, I'm crying for you! Oh I'd been a blubbering baby! Wasn't as scary as I thought it would be either...I'm terribly afraid of needles, iv's, etc.

I'm glad God was able to use this as a learning experience for you. Now I have the song "God is in Control" running through my head. I'll see if I can find those lyrics for you

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Found them...

God is in Control by Twila Paris

This is no time for fear
This is a time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here
Carried away by emotion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control, oh God is in control

History marches on
There is a bottom line drawn across the ages
Culture can make its plan
Oh, but the line never changes
No matter how the deception may fly
There is one thing that has always been true
It will be true forever

He has never let you down
Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me

watching over you...watching over me..
watching over every things..
watching over you..watching over me..
every little sparrow..every little things...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you don't mind, I bolded and italicized my favorite part.

HUGS
Aly

 

[Javamama]

 

[SheriM]

Thanks, Quail. I've heard parts of that song, but never the whole thing. It is a good one.

 

[SheriM]

Letting Go, Part Deux

After the PICC line experience, I wanted nothing more than to make a bee line for home, but since I dont get to the city very often, there were several things we needed from one of those big box membership stores so I almost reluctantly swung the van off the highway. The place was a zoo, as usual. Just getting in the door put the best bumper car ride to shame and not five minutes into my shopping trip, I got yet another lesson in letting go. I had to wiggle between two carts to get down the aisle I wanted and just when I thought the way was clear, another cart slid in front of me.

None too patiently, I waited for the lady to meander her way around me. The minute she was clear, I made another attempt to get out of the traffic jam but had to stop short when her son slipped in behind her, stopping just a few inches from the front of my cart. I hauled back on the cart to avoid hitting him and in the process, jarred my arm, sending a shooting pain through it, despite the residual freezing. Eyes still on the kid Id darn near plowed into, I grimaced from the pain.

Intent on nothing more than getting the heck out of there, I was startled when the kids mother grabbed abruptly and sharply grabbed my cart. Excuse me, she barked. Problem?

Stunned, I took a second to consider my options for an answer.

Option one: A problem with you? Not till now.

Option two: Do I have a problem? Yeah, I guess you could say that. I just underwent an extremely uncomfortable procedure so I can start chemotherapy for my second battle with breast cancer and all I want to do is get home but I have to run this gauntlet because I have a husband at home whose dementia has robbed him of the ability to give a damn about what Im going through or what his many food fetishes are costing me, physically or financially, and then I have to pay attention to where your kids are because youre just as focused on getting through this bottle neck as I am.

For better or worse, my mouth brake was working that day and I opted for choice number three. I said no, no problem with the kid and made up some lame excuse. Well, good, she says, because we had to walk all the way around you just to get by.

Oh, Lord, give me strength! He did and I just pushed on, getting away from her as fast as I could, but all the way home, I kept revisiting that experience, wishing Id opted for number two, just to see if I could take her down a peg or two, but it probably would have had little or no impact on her, so why waste my time? Besides, there are already several hundred people in this province alone who have no business knowing my history. Why spread it even further? Its sad, though, that there are people out there who immediately take things personally that have absolutely nothing to do with them, at least, not until they choose to stick their noses in where they dont belong.

 

[freemotion]

to you for showing grace and self-control. Good thing I wasn't shopping with you. Sparks would've flown!

I took my friend shopping a few months after her car accident. She was looking at some greeting cards in a discount store with narrow aisles, and she had kinda knelt down to look at some on a low shelf. I was just walking over to her when a woman was coming from the opposite direction with a hand basket and made VERY annoyed noises when she attempted to get by my friend.

Her tone changed right quick when my friend looked up and said, with genuiness, "Oh, I am SO sorry!" and struggled to pull herself up.....onto her WALKER!

I just smirked when the horrified lady made eye contact with me, as I rushed over to help my friend.

Just proves that we NEVER know what someone else is going through, and we should be gracious to everyone....well, almost everyone...

We've had many experiences like the one above, and like yours, over the years. It's really too bad.

 

[jenlyn9483]

Sheri, I enjoyed reading and catching up to your journal, as I am new here. Good luck with your chemo. i hope it turns out better than last time. Your tenacity inspires us. Keep on keepin on.

 

[noobiechickenlady]

I would have been

Congrats on keeping your cool. Don't fret about it, you have waaaay more important things to keep you occupied. Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof...

 

[lorihadams]

Good grief.

You are a better woman than I am. Just listening to you, well technically reading, you tell about all of that just gives me the willies. I don't do well with needles either, I hate ivs.

God Bless you darlin'!

 

[SheriM]

Thanks, everybody. I admit, that woman really did get under my skin, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not worth stressing over. Tomorrow is D Day, or should I say C Day...my first Chemo treatment is at 1:00 pm. Frankly, I just want to get the darned thing over with so I can focus on getting my hay in. We cut our 20 acre field last Sunday and it's rained every day since. I just bought my very first round baler, so it should be an experience trying to bale my own hay, assuming the swaths ever dry out!