SheriM - Too Stubborn to Stop Dreamin' - SURPRISE!!!

[TanksHill]

Congrats on the new van. I have driven a Honda for the past 10 years. That van will carry an army of kids, loads of straw, and anything else I care to shove in it. I hope you enjoy yours.

Glad to hear May is all settled into the barn. How is your dh adjusting to it? Does he miss having the lap goat?

I hope all is well. g

 

[keljonma]

I'm sure you'll be very happy with your new acqusition. People are always amazed by how much I can get in my Saturn sedan, when I need to. I miss my Caravan for hauling, but the Saturn is sure better on gas.

 

[SheriM]

Glad to hear May is all settled into the barn. How is your dh adjusting to it? Does he miss having the lap goat?

I hope all is well. g

No, he doesn't miss having her in here, but I sure did this morning when I got up and there was no frantic bleating to greet me.

 

[SheriM]

I was in class today and just after lunch got a call from DH. He said Mary had refused her bottle. Now, Mary is the original greedy-guts and her refusing her bottle is like refusing to breathe. I was worried, but told him to try again in an hour and then call me. He called back about an hour later and said no-joy, and that her sides were rock hard. That's exactly what I was afraid of. I told him to get some Bloat-Ease into her and, after wrestling with my conscious for about 10 minutes, left class early and headed home (my classes are an hour from home). By the time I got home, he'd given her the Bloat-Ease and although she was active, she wouldn't eat so I knew we weren't out of the woods yet.

To make a long story short, she's back in the house -- with Masai so he wouldn't be lonely -- and has had some pepto and a bit of baking soda. She seems better now and even nibbled on a tiny handful of pellets I offered her. I won't quit worrying completely till she's back to knocking me over to get her bottle, but I think she's over the worst of it now.

Masai went through a milder case of the same symptoms a couple of days ago and once he was back to eating, we started giving him half milk, half replacer, so we'll switch Mary over to that too.

 

[keljonma]

Sounds like Mary will do anything to be a house pet. I have some chickens that do that too! Hope she is feeling better soon.

 

[SheriM]

She drank a couple ounces at bed time last night but this morning guzzled her whole bottle without stopping. She's obviously over the problem. If she planned this as a way to get back in the house, she should have stayed sick longer. She'll go out this morning when I do chores.

 

[SheriM]

It's decision time. Despite the fact that this is a recurrence, my oncologist wants to do chemotherapy again. It's a different drug this time, but from the sounds of it, the side effects will be about the same as last time. That time, I had a total of 6 treatments, three weeks apart. After the treatments were over, it took close to a year before I really started feeling like myself again. The oncologist did say that I could stop after 3 treatments this time, but I'm not sure if that will affect the recovery time or not.

So, here I am, parked squarely on the horns of a dilemma. I can do nothing and hope that the mastectomy was enough to completely eradicate the cancer. That is definitely a possibility, since this was a local recurrence, very close to the original site. I wouldn't even be considering this as an option if the cancer had returned somewhere else. I can take three treatments, ending sometime in August and hope that this different drug and the shorter regimen will mean a quicker recovery. I can do all 6 treatments and try my best to stay more active and not let it get me down the way it did the first time.

You see, the first time I went through all this, possibly the hardest part of all was that life just seemed to stop. Virtually nothing that wasn't a matter of life and death got done. The animals got fed and watered, but that was about it. We went into a sort of "survival mode", just existing until that magic day when treatment was over. That's when I got the rude awakening that just because they weren't injecting that crap into me anymore I was going to be instantly back to normal. For over a year, cancer and the treatment and recovery controlled every aspect of my life. I lived through treatment but I didn't live during it, if that makes any sense.

So I swore that if I ever had to go through this again, I wouldn't let it rule me like it did the first time. If I do decide to do treatment, I'm going to do the best I can to maintain something resembling a normal life.

I really haven't decided what I will do. Whether I do treatment again or not, there are no guarantees that the cancer won't come back yet again. Theoretically, the chances are better that it won't if I do treatment but nothing is guaranteed. If there's anything I've learned from having cancer, it's that each and every moment we are given on this earth is a blessing. I have developed a deep appreciation for the sheer joy of being alive. I don't want to lose that, obviously, but God has already decided how many more moments I'm going to have and do I want to waste a year or more of moments feeling like crap for an undefinable chance of having more moments overall? Oh, good grief, did that make any sense at all?

So much for my skills as a writer.

 

[keljonma]

Praying that He gives you guidance and comfort while making your decision.

 

[TanksHill]

Sheri, whatever you decide to do you will have our support. I know it doesn't count much when we are all so far away, and only with you in spirit, but we are here.

Your post makes perfect sense. I just wish I could be of more help. g

 

[SheriM]

Sheri, whatever you decide to do you will have our support. I know it doesn't count much when we are all so far away, and only with you in spirit, but we are here.

Your post makes perfect sense. I just wish I could be of more help. g

Thank you so very much for all the support. It counts for more than you will ever know, regardless of distance.