Oh, Sweetheart! I just cannot imagine exactly how you are feeling but I feel for you and am keeping you in my thoughts and heart! You aren't in the wrong and have been overly nice in the wrongin' you got! Love ya lady (pass me the shiv! )!
DH made a suggestion last night that never occurred to me - that the overdose may have been accidental. The death certificate only said overdose. I piled so much guilt on myself, I never thought she may have taken too many (fill in the blank), and passed. It may be selfish of me to do this, but -to relieve my sense of guilt- I think I'm going to believe it was an accident.
The pig girls are getting fat! Three family members dropped off their garden remnants/kitchen scraps, plus I've been wandering around the yard gathering acorns for them They are happy piggies!
I need to load up Ice Cream and take her to the vet :/ We need him to check her, since she didn't cycle as expected this month and we are that Ferdinand (AKA Little Man) got so sick of her bellowing last month he 'dealt' with the problem Will probably take another stool sample in from him too, just to make sure he's doing good before winter sets in. He looks fat and happy, but I want to be sure. Both cows have begun putting on a THICK winter coat already, which makes me nervous about the weather!
The man at the house texted DH on Tuesday to say he was completely out of the polebarn and done. DH stopped by there last night and said he took 99% of the stuff, so clean up should go fairly easy. We have decided to sign the house over to the bank and be done with it. I don't want to be anywhere near the place, and our possible buyer backed out when he heard what shape it was in (I'm sure that some things are just a matter of me steam cleaning/scrubbing with bleach, but some flooring is completely ruined, the bullet hole glass will have to be replaced, and several doors are damaged beyond repair :/ ). Guess we'll move the big stuff (outside wood boiler, pool table, frig, etc. ) over here, then sort out what to do with it later.
Did up a huge batch of hash browns and diced potatoes in the dehydrator yesterday. The way I do it makes it a several day process, but DS helps with the shredding, so that part goes fast.
I want to dry some quick beans, and do up a canner load full too, but other things are tugging at me! I have a bunch of flower bulbs to get in the ground, after I clean up the designated flower bed area; I need to till the new spot for the strawberry bed, so I can get those moved over, and I still need to turn the soil in what will be the back pasture, so we can get the clover and rye in :/ today though, I am being a whiney baby I pulled 'something' while I was out taking care of the animals earlier (something, I'm guessing, related to my surgery) and I am sitting here fighting the pain, refusing to take anything because it makes me sleepy So, nothing gets done, and i waste the day whining
A lady DH works with collects treadle sewing machines, and parts, so she GAVE me the missing pieces for mine! She also wants pictures of it, because she said she is pretty sure (after checking out the serial number online) mine is rare (rare? does that = impossible to get parts for?! ) and may be worth thousands of dollars if she's right!!! She asked who I got it from (a 20-something girl who was clearing out her Grama's house) and how much I paid for it ($25). Not that I'd sell it, unless it IS next to impossible to get parts for, but she *thinks* it's worth about 200 times what I paid, and the girl just didn't realize what she had DH thought that was cool, but I pointed out that WE don't come across those kinds of deals, so mine is probably just some cobbled together piece of junk
OK, time to take the medicine and sleep the rest of my day away
Maybe I ought to get mine out and check it all out! But then again, it did belong to my grandmother so I don't know that I'd want to get rid of it. But, if it's worth thousands of dollars, I could always sell it, then buy one that's not worth as much.
I have no sentimental attachment to this particular machine - if I found out I could sell it for several thousand, get a decent replacement for $100 or under, AND get some of the things on my wishlist with the 'leftover' - I'd do it in a heartbeat! That is just not my luck though. I have Charlie Brown luck - things seem to look good, then the football gets pulled out from under me, and I end up flat on my backside!
Murphy just won't leave me alone!
I think the pigs have mange! :/ Their whole bodies are covered in scaliness! No scratching or rubbing, just the weird scale stuff. Now the dog has begun scratching, constantly, and has parts of his body (one of his hind quarters for sure) that he yelps if you touch it. No sore spots or bleeding, just constant scratching. Already have a call in to the vet for the cows, so had to call back and add the dog and pigs The chickens still look OK but we are down to getting 1-3 eggs/day from 13 hens! Not molting Please GO AWAY Murphy!!!
Trying to get ready for winter here - our first good freeze (29) is this weekend :/ The beautiful maple tree outside my kitchen window seemed to turn over night! One day, it's branch tips were fiery red, the next it was all crimson and I thought I should take a picture of what I get to look at while doing dishes, the next day it was half brown Did have to make a trip into the 'big' town this week - I took the back way and soaked up the fall colors! They were a little washed out all around here, but I love to see them. It reminds me of that Robert Frost poem, which also reminds me of DS#1, whose birthday would be (is) this Monday. So, fall is bittersweet for me, and Spring is bittersweet for me (the anv. of his passing), winter is depressing here and just sucks - so I guess that just leaves Summer for me! And this Summer went by WAY too fast!
I still have a huge bag of leaf lard to do up, and haven't even touched the meat in the freezer (to can/make room for venison). I decided this week I'd be a lazy cow, to recover from DH working me to exhaustion last weekend - as I am pretty sure he will do THIS weekend too Our fall to-do list is a solid page long, and we have all but run out of decent weather in which to do it! I did take some scrap tile we had and make a neat fireplace insert - just have to cut 4 pieces of tile, back butter them in, then grout and I'm done! Will try to remember to take a picture when it's all done/in. We have the wood stove in and ready to use when needed, so
Need to get moving - going to pull weeds at the DS#1's grave, then stop by a couple thrift store's on the way home. Think I'll take the scenic route there, to soak up some more fall color! None of the color change here compares to where we used to live in the U.P., but I guess I can't have everything!
We accomplished almost nothing yesterday! We had out-of-town, surprise visitors! Our ex next door neighbors from down 'South' were on a color tour and stopped by to visit Was fun catching up, listening to their recent progress on the farmhouse and letting them see how much the animals have changed since we moved. Mrs B hardly even recognized Ice Cream I sure miss having them living right next door!
Today is cold and windy. I need to get outside and start on my long list of outdoor chores, but I'm dreading it! I have a feeling we'll be firing up the wood stove tonight, even though DH doesn't want to - he said he's worked so hard getting all that wood, he thinks we should only be allowed to admire his hard work, not use it up