Sufficient Self Forum - Let's have a heart-to-heart

[Wannabefree]

And for those that left, it is their choice. But slowly I see alot of them posting so many might come back. Who knows. But the board will move forward past this trouble and other troubles. Forums always do. New good people will join and have. As long as we keep the immaturity down to a low level this forum should succeed.

Being flippant about good people leaving is why this has gone on so long IMO. These were valuable people who left and they should be made feel welcome again. New people is always good, but if it's dead air when they get here....how many will stick around? The unique blend of expertise of the group we had worked well, and we have lost IRREPLACEABLE folks if you ask me.

I also think the POW thread should be fair game for ALL SS pics, they can always decline, but that is the ONE place folks can post things they'd like to see at the top of the page, so the hunting/fishing rule shouldn't apply to that thread.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

2dream, if this was facebook I'd click the "like" button.

 

[2dream]

Free - I am so sorry that happened to you - You are greatly missed here as well as the others that have been mentioned already Noobiechick, BBH, BB, Wifey, Mr. Doom and Gloom just to name a few.

 

[Wifezilla]

Right around the time of the blow up, my dad died. So I was not in much of a mood to deal with drama. For me, the over zealous moderation was a big issue. When someone gets a warning for linking to an instructibles or crafster article, you have taken a trip to the land of the absurd. This forum, to me, is about learning and the exchange of information. I can see not allowing linking to a similar forum to sufficient self, but instructibles?!? Crafster?!? Seriously?!?

Many don't know that I used to be a chat moderator on AOL a million years ago when it was cool . I was one of the political debate mods. So you can imagine the things I was in the middle of. While I understand what is involved in making a forum run smoothly, I also know how someone in a position of authority can make a minor issue in to a big blow up. That's what I saw happen here.

As for ways to improve things in the future, there is a forum tool that allows individuals to blocks the messages of members they don't wish to deal with. Since there is a history of needling and negativity from a few regular posters, this tool would go a long way towards avoiding future issues.

Proper training will also go a long way, and it looks like that was addressed.

One other thing that needs to be addressed is banned members coming back under different name. How many reincarnations did a certain trouble maker have? How many times was the forum disrupted by the negativity, hostility, and nastiness by the same person? Why were non trouble maker members reprimanded for nothing more than noticing the truth?

Just some points to ponder.

 

[moolie]

First off, I was so sad to see what happened as it seemed a bunch of stuff went on while I was offline and then people were angry and then just gone

But when it comes down to brass tacks, people do make their own decisions in life. I don't have to like it, but it is what it is.

I'm not saying that there weren't reasons that people left, and the post above about the nasty PM just makes my eyes go wide than anyone would say such things to ANYONE in ANY context, let alone in a private message--that's just not right.

I'm a moderator on another board, and I just have to say a few things about moderators from my own personal experience: Moderators generally read everything, or have specific areas of a forum assigned to them to read if the forum is big. I'm not really familiar with the other forums that Nifty owns because I don't read them, but it sounds like the mods work on more than one forum?

In any case, moderators also don't post often because "you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't"--if a mod expresses an opinion, it can be seen as "official" by the membership. So they often read along, and do get to know the various personalities etc., just without posting much. So then they can be seen as "swooping down" when there are problems reported, but generally they know the back story because they've been there all along.

Moderators are volunteers, who are chosen because they feel passionate about the subject of the forum. They literally spend more hours here than most other members, we just don't always see it.

It sounds like we got a new moderator around the time of the rest of the crapstorm, and that she may have overreacted to some stuff. I truly appreciate Nifty's explanation and apology, but perhaps what the forum needs (from what I'm reading above) is the new mod's apology? I think that would probably go a long way to healing the rift.

 

[dacjohns]

Whoa, slow down. I think a couple of you should go back and self edit before this thread gets shut down. Rob asked for construction not destruction. Quit attacking each other.

 

[2dream]

2dream, if this was facebook I'd click the "like" button.

Thanks QA -

I think we all forget sometimes that its not about ME. Its not about MY opinion. Its not about what I want or how I feel. When an individual forgets that and takes it to the board or a mod or uses a private PM to insult someone we all lose. There is nothing in the RULES that says you HAVE to respond to any post or PM. I know I have personally killed a few threads by posting when I should not have. But I do sincerely hope that I apologized for each of those not only openly but privately with a heart felt apology.

I try to remember that my opinions are simply that - my opinions. And because they are mine I don't feel the need for everyone to agree with them nor do I feel the need to try and change someones mind about how they feel. I am entitled to have my feelings - but so are they. If we disagree on that fine. No sense in taking it personal. In real life or on this forum. In almost 60 years of living the one thing I have learned is that my opinions will change on different things as I reach different stages of my life based on the adversity that was thrown at me during the journey. So knowing that - I try not to voice them to loudly knowing they may change tomorrow.

Yes - I am an old hippy. Love not war. Live and let live. And I have also been known to chuckle as I walk away from a confrontation.

 

[elevan]

I have been on SS for quite a while before I became a member. An avid reader of the site. I am on TEG, BYC, BYH and of course here on SS. For those of you who visit BYH, you know that I am a huge participant there. I do live the SS lifestyle to the best of my current ability, so to think that I do not because I do not post heavily here would be incorrect. Nifty asked me to be a mod here as well since I'm frequently on the site even though I don't post a lot.

You all asked me to tell you about myself after this blowup and so I posted an introduction to myself and I gave it to you. Now several have demanded an apology. If giving members warnings for rule violations hurt their feelings then I will apologize for hurt feelings.

Mods here and on all of the sister sites are volunteers who do not read every thread or post nor are we assigned to read any specific section. I responded to reports of outright flaming / trolling and other rule violations. Never did I ban anyone or send ANY nasty PMs. There seems to have been a lot of stuff go on behind the scenes that even the mods / admins here are not fully aware of. This site like the sister sites has rules that all members agreed to when they signed up. Members who left did so of their own accord and for reasons obviously well beyond me. While I'm slightly flattered that so much of the blame is laid at my feet by some, there is a lot of misinformation going around.

I first came to this site to LEARN. I became a mod to help it GROW.

I think it's time for you to move on. Does being SS mean holding grudges for a perceived hurt? I come here to learn to make soap and cheese. To learn different techniques for canning. To learn tips that I may not have known before. I'm sorry if you feel that my not being a heavy poster on this site makes me less SS. I personally think it's time to quit dancing and get back to what this site is about - learning how to be SS. If you haven't been on BYH in a while, maybe you should check it out and see how it's grown. Check out some of the ideas that I've run with to help it grow as part of the team of staff with the full support of it's members. I would love to help SS grow in a similar manner as part of the team of staff here with support of the members.

 

[Marianne]

I think the option/tool that allows you to not see a specific person's posts would be great.

For the ones that left, it was their choice. If they want to come back, it's also their choice. No apologies, no more talk about this, call it over and done. There are also new and old members that are living the life, not just the ones that left. Most of us have knowledge and skills in different areas and continue to learn as we go along.

In the end, the forum is not governed by the members and we should respect the rules. In a perfect situation, we'd respect each other even if we didn't agree with them.

Let's move on.

 

[miss_thenorth]

And for me, right around the time of the blow up, my hubby shattered his ankle, and then my son shattered his. ( i know, I know but what can I do?) So, while I knew what was going on, I wasn't posting much. In fact, I hadn't been posting much for a while anyways. For me, even before the blow up, there were certain members who seriously diminished the tone of this forum, by being combative about our chosen SS lifestyle, thinking we were too afraid to spend money, or basically mocking some of our SS choices. I still can't understand why people who have no desire to be SS and choose to discredit our lifestyle even stick around here why, because they are bored and hav nothing better to do than poke fun at us?. I know there are several members who are no longer living SS lives who still come here for comeraderie, and that is great, but to criticize and laugh at us? And then there are those who seem to troll after other members, disagreeing and arguing with everything that they post. It just gets a little tiring after a while.

As far as the hunting picture is concerned, while I understand that some people might not like it, it is part of the SS lifestyle. Maybe not everyones, but alot of us do depend on hunting for our sustenance. For me, not a big deal that it was taken down. But it was not handled very diplomatically, and then of course a moderator, who did not know the tone of this forum did come in and seem to be very heavy handed, followed bythe announcement of the point/demerit system. So the combination of members who alter the pleasant tone around here, to moderation who alteerd the tone around here, I found it not a very pleasant place to hang out at on my downtime, where before, I couldn't wait to have a few minutes to come and catch up and learn and share here.

I have loved this forum in the past few years I have been here. There are many people on here, ( many who have left) that i have a trememdous amount of respect for, as far as their integrity is concerned and their ethics. And their knowledge. I have learned invaluable information here from those members.

And I love seeing new members join here and start posting, and there have bee many in the past few weeks even. That is great. It would be wonderful if they could learn from the founding members also.