Sufficient Self Forum - Let's have a heart-to-heart

[FarmerChick]

I think the option/tool that allows you to not see a specific person's posts would be great.

For the ones that left, it was their choice. If they want to come back, it's also their choice. No apologies, no more talk about this, call it over and done. There are also new and old members that are living the life, not just the ones that left. Most of us have knowledge and skills in different areas and continue to learn as we go along.

In the end, the forum is not governed by the members and we should respect the rules. In a perfect situation, we'd respect each other even if we didn't agree with them.

Let's move on.

There is alot of great info on this board and good insights.

but this is the one post that stands out for me. From Marianne. She hit the nail on the head.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Farmerchick, really? The "move on" mantra isn't helping trying to work through this. You've made your point multiple times. Please let it go for everyone's sake.

 

[MsPony]

But here is the problem. You speak about heavy handed not knowing how many of a persons posts had to be deleted because of vulgar and hateful content and how many warnings they had already had.

These are the things we see that the members don't.

No, sometimes heavy moderating is totally needed for that. But not always, sorry I wrote this in chunks between servings lol.

And I can't wait for the ignore button *does pioneer finger exercise to get ready*

(and not you MrK, for one you're a mod, two I really don't know you and therefore have no opinion.)

 

[FarmerChick]

Farmerchick, really? The "move on" mantra isn't helping trying to work through this. You've made your point multiple times. Please let it go for everyone's sake.

You can disagree. I don't agree. I think in general there are many aspects of what is happening on the board. Most is behind the scenes and involve mods. So wouldn't it be best that the people involved solve those problems between themselves? No one can fix what happened to Free and her mod problem. No one can fix a problem that WZ had about a link warning. No one can fix nasty pms people have received.
Other than discussion over and over again, what is the point. Move forward is best.

edited to say. I will drop the drop it movement. I made my point obviously for how I stand. COOL

 

[big brown horse]

About one year ago my daughter suffered a trauma in the ER--died and came back to life 10 minutes later...it was horrible. Almost every single member of this site-- who was a member on or before Sept. 3, 2010 sent her a gift or a card. I can still tell you who sent what and how it touched us both. Amazing. We still have those cards and gifts and Sam, my dd, looks at them all the time. (Thank you guys again, it meant the world to us...and still does. Cards/gifts from pseudo-cyber strangers, who would have thunk??) Wifezilla had to send hers twice. That is all I wanted to say. I'm not sure if anyone else around here (Mods) knew about that, I just wanted to explain why this whole shake up thing was extremely hard on me.

Her recovery process was and is still long and hard, hey it isn't over yet... and coming here (though I don't post much anymore) let me forget about the tough times and laugh out loud or learn how to make life easier as a single mom (no-help from my aging parents, who sadly live 2300 miles away).

Thank you guys where ever you are. I will never forget what you did for me.



P.S. Beekissed, your card was her favorite!!!! Remember why? And Free, I have 2 little felted sheep all misshapened in a "brain trauma" kind of way that I will never ever EVER toss.

 

[kstaven]

Doesn't surprise me at all. We have seen it happen before on the other forums also. There are some very good people here.

 

[BarredBuff]

I do have a few requests regarding forum organization....

I think that any new moderator that is assigned here must be a regularly posting member because you dont really understand the tone and feeling of it, if you pop in all at once. Plus then the members are comfortable with them. Then hopefully everyone can cooperate.

Also, we need more categories! A sustainable gardening and a sustainable livestock would really be beneficial! Itd be excelent for us older members and it may attract new ones along the way because thats how most of us got started into was with a garden and chickens.

 

[Windyhillfarms]

Quite honestly, after all of this, I basically lurk the boards. I had a few pictures I was going to submit to POW, but find myself hesitant to do so because of this reason or that. In my last "evaluation" my boss said the only thing she wanted me to work on was my "tact". My reply was I simply didn't have any and at my age didn't see myself obtaining any and when I first found this forum I really felt like I could just settle down and make myself at home, kind of like walking into a living room with a bunch of passionated, rowdy, not afraid to speak their mind family who look over and nod when somebody comes into the room and continues their discussions (various at one time in the same room) at the same volume as when you walked in. There are what some would consider arguments that I would consider zealous conversations (ya know, the ones with arms flying and hands waving while speaking). So, I sat and I watched and then hesitantly threw a question out there and got straight, no sugar coated, answers ... which is what I expected and what I desired. I started a journal, more for myself than anybody else, and was shocked when I found somebody else read it! I began to learn the different personalities, quirks, who is the class clown, who is the class professor, etc. Respect for individuals grew as individuals, not as a forum as a whole. And then it hit, the firestorm. ... I have to say seeing the ones who left, who really were the ones who were the ones in the family standing up, everybody looking up to them, knowing they had so much knowledge to impart that they couldn't possibly teach everything, and I had to wonder what REALLY happened. The ones who left didn't seem to be ones who would have "thin skin" or who couldn't take a criticism. They also really didn't seem like ones who overreacted at the drop of a hat. So, while I do apprecate the attempt at clearing things up, I think I'm going to keep watching and see just how this all plays out and hope that EVERYBODY has learned from this, moderators and owner of the board included.

Even in this thread, it was "cleaned up" and posts removed. If this is truly a "heart-to-heart" then well, it needs to be open and outright truthful. Let's face it, the truth sometimes hurts and I really don't think anybody is doing any good if they are constantly running around going "well, that might upset this one" and "that might upset that one" ... delete ... delete ... I think we're pretty much all adults here so it's time to perhaps put big girl panties on and learn that you're not always going to have rainbows and butterflies and start developing the ability to either 1) let things roll off your back; 2) post an intelligent rebuttal to whatever is bothering you or 3) just don't open the post/forum/whatever the case may be.

It's imperative for a community to respect its leaders and yet it doesn't seem that they even KNOW their leaders, although apparently BYC knows a few ... just my two cents after lurking through the rest of the posts.

 

[Damummis]

Nifty,

I would like to share the reason I left, if for nothing else I can get it off my chest.

I started to visit this forum on my quest to be more self sufficient. I knew nothing about a lot of subjects but I learned thru gleaning from others that posted their successes and failures. Then one day I noticed all the folks I built a rapport with were leaving. Me being the nosey person I am asked what the heck was going on. Where was everyone going? THAT thread was deleted. No PM from any of the mods, or anyone in a position to delete my thread contacted me to tell me why. Things were getting weird. I didn't like the vibe. So in my journal I posted my feelings and said Auf Wiedersehen which means, until we meet again. I needed a break to fall back and regroup. I had every intention to come back when the forum calmed down, UNTIL my journal disappeared. Again, no explanation from anyone, no pm, e-mail any reason what so ever. This made me think that if you can so easily throw out someones thoughts, ideas, successes and failures without so much as an explanation then why am I here. I wrote everything from day one in that journal and it was gone.
I learned from an early age that almost everything can be replaced and this felt like I was being replaced. Am I offended? No. Am I hurt, maybe a little but I can get over it. But you have to ask yourself, who is going to visit a library if all the books are gone?

There I have said my peace.

To all those that feel abandoned. I still love ya and hope you all have a happy holiday season.

 

[framing fowl]

when I first found this forum I really felt like I could just settle down and make myself at home, kind of like walking into a living room with a bunch of passionated, rowdy, not afraid to speak their mind family who look over and nod when somebody comes into the room and continues their discussions (various at one time in the same room) at the same volume as when you walked in. There are what some would consider arguments that I would consider zealous conversations (ya know, the ones with arms flying and hands waving while speaking). So, I sat and I watched and then hesitantly threw a question out there and got straight, no sugar coated, answers ... which is what I expected and what I desired. I started a journal, more for myself than anybody else, and was shocked when I found somebody else read it! I began to learn the different personalities, quirks, who is the class clown, who is the class professor, etc. Respect for individuals grew as individuals, not as a forum as a whole. And then it hit, the firestorm. ... I have to say seeing the ones who left, who really were the ones who were the ones in the family standing up, everybody looking up to them, knowing they had so much knowledge to impart that they couldn't possibly teach everything, and I had to wonder what REALLY happened. The ones who left didn't seem to be ones who would have "thin skin" or who couldn't take a criticism. They also really didn't seem like ones who overreacted at the drop of a hat. So, while I do apprecate the attempt at clearing things up, I think I'm going to keep watching and see just how this all plays out and hope that EVERYBODY has learned from this, moderators and owner of the board included.

Windyhill, you said so eloquently many things that have been on my mind. I think the living room with several loud conversations is a very apt analogy. When I first came, I sat down and just watched and listened and pretty soon was drawn into the various conversations and felt like I was able to contribute. It was like a large, energetic, opinionated family. And just like with any family, there were those that you listened to when they spoke, there were those you laughed with, there were those you smiled at across the room, and then there was the loud obnoxious cousin that you just learned to ignore.

I think some people may have felt that it was a clique where they didn't belong but that was far from the truth. All you had to do was say something, anything. As proof of that, all you have to do is look at the members who were first to welcome and encourage new members. Yes, I know there are many members here who have a lot of knowledge and valuable skills and insights to contribute... The question to ask yourself though, is did they? Perhaps now that the volume in the living room is quieter due to many members leaving, they can be heard.

For me personally, I will continue to pop in now and then and will not excommunicated myself from the friends and family choosing to remain here. However, I feel like the heart and soul that I fell in love with is now missing here and I will continue to invest the majority of my time with them elsewhere. Also, please understand that it is still not a clique. Anyone (except the obnoxious cousin ) is welcome to still be a part of that rowdy family. All you have to do is ask.

~ff