The Difference Between "Broke" and "We Can't Afford It"

[savingdogs]

I am newly poor....we used to be doing better, so I don't have to worry about people getting false illusions.

People I know think I'm crazy to be investing what little I have into these breeding pairs of animals. I think it is crazy they are buying a newer car or having their nails manicured. I would not spend money on having my nails done even if I had it. Or many other things that I see my friends doing.

I do wish I had more money for things like donating to charity, saving for the future and paying off bills.

At my workplace, just what people spend on their hairstyles alone is crazy, with all the highlighting and special effects going on, to say nothing for spa treatments, tanning salons, workout memberships and of course wardrobes.
I'm lucky my hair is naturally curly and I can get a trendy looking supercuts style and no one would know the difference, and I just color mine myself....one color....holy cow? So I don't have highlights like everyone else for 80 dollars a session. I just apply it unevenly and Ta Dah! There are my highlights!
I miss having money for other things but not tanning salon services....never have spent money on that or some of the other things on the list.

 

[abifae]

Everyone thinks I'm dirt poor. I'm poor. But they get actually OFFENDED when they find out I keep 1500-2000 in savings at all times LOL.

I'm really big on "I will not spend money on that" and I have a very firm list of what I will spend money on. My stepdad LOVES it about me. Most of my friends know that when I say "I cannot afford that" I mean "I will not spend money on that right now".

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Just because a person "assumes" someone doesn't have money due to what they drive or where they live,..well they could be SADLY mistaken. I know a man that is driving a truck who looks like it come from a junk yard,..no I mean reallybad,...he "looks" to be poor,...BUT he has one of the biggest cattle operations in these parts. Some of us choose not to waste our money on frivilous (sp?) things. I also am tight as bark on a tree,..

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

Just because a person "assumes" someone doesn't have money due to what they drive or where they live,..well they could be SADLY mistaken. I know a man that is driving a truck who looks like it come from a junk yard,..no I mean reallybad,...he "looks" to be poor,...BUT he has one of the biggest cattle operations in these parts. Some of us choose not to waste our money on frivilous (sp?) things. I also am tight as bark on a tree,..

We have a very similiar friend. As long as it runs, he would prefer to not flaunt his wealth.

 

[PamsPride]

I think people automatically assume we are broke because we have 6 kids! Kids do have a way of sucking the money out of ya though!
We were finally able to pay our HELOC off the other day! I bet people would be at how much money we actually have saved up! We paid cash for both of our vehicles and RARELY go out to eat. I always tell my kids that we CHOOSE not to spend our money on this or that.
I honestly would prefer that people think we are broke and not stocked up....if the SHTF then I do not have to worry about them knocking on my door!

 

[Denim Deb]

It's very rare for me to buy stuff unless its something that I really need. And, l have a set price for what I'll pay for something. For instance, I needed a new pair of slippers. I saw some that I like-for about $20. To me, that was too expensive. Then I was in another store, saw a pair I liked even better, and they were $11.00! They had my size, so I got them, got to the register and found out they were only $10.00!

I was Wally World on Tuesday. My hubby wants to know what I want for Christmas. I walked the whole store. And the only thing I found that I want? A pair of gloves. I don't even bother to look in the mall. I'm just not into having people getting me stuff just so they can say they got me a present. You buy me something, or I buy it for myself, it'd better be something I can use. Or, do something for me, like give me a free haircut, or a massage.

 

[Farmfresh]

Funny thing is at first folks ask questions or make comments like that but after a few years it all comes to a screeching halt. They have me nicely pigeon holed as a weirdo with very little money to my name.

I like the spot they have assigned me! Home Interior parties, candle parties, jewelry parties and the like all come and go at my work. People pass the sales books and invitations right on by me. "Oh this is not the kind of thing that you would be interested in" or "the things in this book are high priced" - comments that I wear like a badge! Today a group of woman were talking about the expensive make up they wear and I heard them and laughed. I said "You all really NEED that stuff, but I am a natural beauty!" I was being snarky, but they said seriously "You are right - you really are!"

They come to me one by one and ask questions about natural foods, chickens or anything else they have decided that I am an expert on, but never anything that involves money. If I talk about my family lake home they all look at me like I have antlers. A vacation home doesn't fit into my pigeon hole! I would rather be selective with my spending, self sufficient as possible and spend my money on useful quality things that last than have a new cell phone every year.

 

[Wannabefree]

I would have shreiked OMGosh YOU ARE RIGHT! There is gonna be a massive gaping hole in my life if I don't buy ______ !! And then just look at them and calmly wait for their response when they get finished feeling really stupid and shallow. It works.

 

[patandchickens]

I too say "oh, that's just not something we want to spend money on" (in a non-disparaging way) rather than "we can't afford it"/"we're broke".... not only is it more honest IMO and avoid argument, I look at it as sort of a public service announcement in a way. In the sense that it is a reminder that just because the shiny bright things are out there does not mean we HAVE to buy them

My husband, OTOH, is from a completely different planet. He keeps telling people we are short of money, can't afford this, we're kind of poor, la la la. [We are totally not). I asked him once, "what do you think it would mean to be OK on money, or OK-bordering-on-rich?" His reply: to be able to never have to think before spending money, just do it, knowing there would always be enough.

<wanders off shaking head in astonishment>

Fortunately he is also too lazy to actually *spend* money, most of the time

Pat

 

[JRmom]

Just because a person "assumes" someone doesn't have money due to what they drive or where they live,..well they could be SADLY mistaken. I know a man that is driving a truck who looks like it come from a junk yard,..no I mean reallybad,...he "looks" to be poor,...BUT he has one of the biggest cattle operations in these parts. Some of us choose not to waste our money on frivilous (sp?) things. I also am tight as bark on a tree,..

LOL! Sounds like my husband (except for the big cattle operation part). He is driving a classic (read "old") Ford truck that he absolutely loves. He bought it 15 years ago from a guy who had restored it. Now it needs another overhaul (in fact, the original owner wants to buy it back). The only reason we're truck shopping now is because he wants something with a/c.

My husband is constantly getting offers to buy his truck - but some of our friends feel sorry for him for having to drive a crappy old truck (in their eyes). It runs good, it's paid for, and hubby loves it - that's all that matters.