VENT! RANT! UGHHHHHH!

[MorelCabin]

Okay this past couple of weeks has been rough on me. I think I've had too much company and everything else seems to be going wrong at the same time.
My oldest son called me on Friday afternoon...bawling, he's in the hospital 2000 miles away and has tried yet another suicide attemp...he called to cry and tell me how much he hates me and wants to die but it never works out. All I knew how to say was "I honestly don't know what to do..." so he hung up on me and I haven't heard anything since Friday.
That happened twenty minutes before our weekend company arrived...which was a good thing sort of because I didn't have time to think about it much until last night...AFTER dinner with my neighbors (the ones with the dog that has killed alot of my birds over the last few years)
That is another sroty...so we were having dinner and I hear my hens going crazy so i go out there to find out that thier dog got another one of my birds. I brought the dead bird right into the kitchen while they were having dinner and plunked it in the garbage saying we needed to do something about thier dog (again) So the guy gets all mad because I am going to put my dogs collar on it and shock it out of my yard (it worked for 8 weeks until last night)
He pulls this fit on me and leaves with his family.

So I decided that's it, I got rid of all my birds today, gave some away. Killed some. Cleaned out the coop, tried not to be angry with my neighbor, but I AM! Tried not to think of my son, who I have no idea is alive or dead at this point...
I came in this afternoon and took a nap, woke up a little cranky WOULDN"T YA KNOW IT!
And then DH gets all upset with me because I am not in the greatest mood, and walks out the door...
I just needed to vent, sorry

 

[Henrietta23]

Vent away! Sounds like you need to. I'm so sorry about your birds.
I honestly don't know what to say about your son either. So I'll just "listen" when you need to vent. Hugs!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Oh Morel, I'm so sorry.

I will be praying for your son.

As for your neighbor, you've got the right to be mad! to the neighbor!

 

[FarmerDenise]

Go ahead vent. Sounds to me like you got good reason to.
Your neighbors are jerks. Sorry about your birds though.

You're son is a different story. He needs help, but he has to go there himself.
Think about how he is making you feel and deal with your feelings about it. There is very little you can do about his.
Except you can try to listen to him. Ask him questions: why do you feel so angry with me, what would you like me to do. Tell him that you really wish that he did not commit suicide, that it would really hurt you deeply. Sounds to me that he wants a response from you, or he wouldn't be calling you.
He is desperate and probably doesn't feel that anyone cares. No matter how he got to this state, feeling suicidal is not a fun place to be. It is a sad and desperate place. You feel that you have no options left to you, that no-one cares and the world would be better off without you. It may be unrealistic, but that is not the way you feel. You may even know it conciously, but your feelings and voices in your head don't and tell you otherwise.
You want someone to wave a magic wand and fix it all.

 

[big brown horse]

I am so sorry, vent away sister!

 

[MorelCabin]

My neighbors will not do anything diifferent, they have never taken any responsibility for that dog. He said last night that he is upset because the last time I went down there and told him (after many times before) that I was going to kill his dog if he didn't keep it at his place. I said it in front of his kids and apparently that is why he is upset. The fact is, you gotta hear this guy talk in front of his kids about everyone and anyone including thier own mother. It gets really nasty...but don't threaten to kill his dog in front of them, no way! I was hoping if I finally said it in front of the kids they might take some responsibility or make him take it...but *I* eneded up the one at fault for everything now...

My son has been a problem his whole life. I have tried everything to get him help for his many issues...it's useless...I couldn't get help when he was a kid because psychs are only interested in lining thier pockets, not actually helping....not that they can anyway because thier ideas are outrageous. He has been in hospitals again and again for years now, just short stays...he tries to get the nurses in trouble all the time, plays his own psychological games, thinks he's soooo smart. In detention, when he was there he caused alot of trouble as well.
Yes, he wants a response from me, but he doesn't get one anymore. I learned a long time ago that if I responded he takes the 'shock value' to higher limits every week until I am on the way to the psych ward myself. If I don't really respond I hear from him less often and he plays less games. If he thought committing suicide would hurt me he would have been dead long ago. It was at his first suicide attemp that I REALLY stopped being repsonsive because I know the limits he will go for attention. He has no boundries

 

[SKR8PN]

You screwed up with the neighbors. You should have shot the dog and thrown his carcass on the the table. Period. End of subject.

I'm not EVEN gonna ask why, on Gods green earth, you felt you had to get rid of your birds. HIS dog was the problem, NOT your birds.




I have no children, so I have no comment about your son, other than to say I am very sorry.

 

[Blackbird]

I have to agree with SKR8PN on that..

May I ask what problems your son has?

I hope things get better.

 

[FarmerDenise]

With all that history regarding your son, I understand the way you feel. There are times when enough is enough. I have told friends: "I don't do suicide watch!", it is amazing how well that works. We have one right now, who is promising to jump of the golden gate bridge every time we see him. I have offered him cab fare. We are friends with his brother as well and they live on the same property, so it is difficult to avoid this friend.

Not that I don't care. I just cannot spend all my energy worrying about someone, who is not taking responsibility for themselves.
Our 14 year old niece jumped off the golden gate bridge, and I think it is in very poor taste for this friend to threaten to do the same.

I have know too many people who have committed suicide. It is a selfish act. And I got over it, except for the niece. That one left a monstrous hole in my heart. None of us suspected that anything was troubling her.

My sympathy is with you, for having to put up with it. Your son is an adult now and needs to take responsibility for his own actions or inactions. No one can do that for him.

This is for you

 

[PamsPride]

You screwed up with the neighbors. You should have shot the dog and thrown his carcass on the the table. Period. End of subject.

I'm not EVEN gonna ask why, on Gods green earth, you felt you had to get rid of your birds. HIS dog was the problem, NOT your birds.




I have no children, so I have no comment about your son, other than to say I am very sorry.

DITTO!!!