Wannabefree...guess what I got in the mail today!?!?!?!?

[Wannabefree]

Soap box alert!!

I keep seeing everything on FB and social media and TV(until we cut it off anyway) about bullying. There are wristbands and people "raising awareness" and "no tolerance" blah blah blah.....here's a suggestion...TALK TO YOUR KIDS! It is YOUR job people, as parents, to KNOW what is going on in your childs life, to be there to support them, and from BIRTH, to 18 years, TO TEACH THEM HOW TO COPE WITH EVERYTHING...HELLLOOOOOOO! If they need couselling, get it for them, if they need karate...get it for them. If they are bullied on social media, here's a clue...get them OFF SOCIAL MEDIA and give them something more constructive to do! I just don't know what people expect when they let the internet, TV, Hollywood, public schools, goverment etc. nanny their kid, RAISE their own flesh and blood?!?! And then complain of the results, even if the poor kid doesn't off themselves, they trudge through life trying to figure out what their parents should have already taught them. Our children are being neglected, emotionally, physically, and they are being thrown in the lake to sink or swim, mind you, by the very darn ones that are supposed to be nurturing and protecting them And blame...blame is being tossed about like confetti at a New Years Eve parade, it's NOT social medias fault, its NOT schools fault, or TV, or Hollywood, it's not even the darn bully that is to blame...it's the parents, period. The parents are supposed to teach these kids how to deal, or get them out of the situation that they aren't mature enough to handle, AT ANY POINT IN THEIR LIVES WHILE IN SAID PARENTS HOUSEHOLD. I'm not even saying ALL cases, some children have undiagnosed mental instability, but MOST cases, could be remedied just by parents acknowledging their kids, standing up for them and with them, and just generally being available to them for support. It is scientific FACT that a childs brain is not fully developed until they are in their mid to late 20's...and the last part to fill in, the frontal lobes, the epicenter for reasoning skills, and logic. Until then, they NEED us (the ones who are supposed to have the fully functioning brains)to help them sort through the emotional garbage the world dumps on their little heads on a daily basis....so DO IT!

Hug your goofy teenager, ask about their day, keep their passwords and usernames to check on them online, have family meetings and game nights, and have their friends over to your house and watch for signs of depression or mental issues. Don't just throw them to the dogs and expect everything will work out just fine. I'm sick of seeing 12-17 year old faces everywhere because they didn't know how else to deal with some little punk other than to take themselves out of the picture. And for cryin out loud, will somebody stop the madness about no physical violence....bullies hit ya know, kids should be empowered to not take that crap. If an adult hits another adult, then that adult (hopefully) wallops the crap out of the instigator and the INSTIGATOR gets punished, and the one who protected themselves...goes on about their daily lives. Why is it any different for kids?! Now they teach kids "don't hit" just tell the teacher One good smack back would stop a lot of them in their tracks, it did when I was in school and got bullied...and news flash...the teachers didn't then, nor do they now, do a single thing about it. My 9 year old niece is dealing with this right now in her own school. :/

 

[frustratedearthmother]

You said it, sis!

I thank God every day that my kids grew up when they did. We always lived in the country so they only had a few neighbors to play with. They stayed outside most of the day - no video games. They rode bikes and built forts in the woods. If something happened between them - they would work it out. Occasionally there was a skinned knee or a busted lip - but you know what? They got along better afterwards, lol. There was never any real violence, but boys will be boys. A couple of times parents interened - but it rarely came to that - and if it did....well let's just say we made it clear that they would be better off working things out for themselves, lol!

The same boys that would scuffle one day would camp out together in the woods the next weekend. They would roast hot dogs over the fire, they would stay up all night telling scary stories, they even peed on an electric fence together and learned one of the most important lessons of their lives!

I hate a bully. Stand up to 'em and nine times outta ten, they'll slink away like the coward that they are.

 

[Wannabefree]

I KNOW!!! Sheesh...not all this new "change" is good. Some of it just basically warps people. Don't hit back...pshhh...let my niece get hit, one more time... I hope she warps that kid right back, and I WILL go toe to toe with the principal/school board/whoever, and if it comes to that, they better be ready to explain themselves on WHY they didn't stop it when it has been brought to their attention multiple times.

I fought with lots of kids when I was a kid myself. We didn't kill each other. I knew if I started it and my mom got wind of that fact it wouldn't be the other kid I had to worry about We worked things out on our own, and did just fine. I'm STILL friends with most of the folks I fought with as a kid I just friended one of my old "bullies" on FB last week She turned out to be pretty nice Kids just do stupid, period. It's part of life, and a very important part we have to teach our kids to know how to handle.

 

[Denim Deb]

What's really crazy is in some schools, even if you don't fight back, you get punished for fighting. I knew one mother who told her kid to never start anything, but if he was hit, since he'd get suspended anyway to beat the tar out of the attacker.

 

[Wannabefree]

Yeah, the "no tolerance" crap really does not work any better than putting the two kids in a room alone...it sucks. Niecey has been upset about it a few times this year. She's afraid she will get in trouble, and she will, that is the sad part. She will get suspended for taking up for herself :/

 

[Britesea]

We tried putting youngest DS into school a few times, and each time it didn't work out for various reasons (Turns out he has Asperger's and mild Turette's). The last time we tried was high school. We were new in town, and I hoped that he might meet a few like-minded kids to make friends with. Within a quarter, he was being bullied and badgered so much that he had taken to eating his lunch in the classroom of a teacher that tended to work through lunch and allowed him to come in, in order to have at least that little bit of peace. He had been tripped, teased, money stolen, had mud dumped in his lunch, called a "faggot" and more. He finally told me what was going on, and I called the school counselor, asking for a meeting. I had to leave a message, as he didn't answer the phone; I told him what was happening, and just mentioned that this kind of constant bullying was precisely what triggered the Columbine shooting. After a week, when I still had not gotten a call back (nor had DS been called to speak with the counselor), I pulled him out of school and filed the letter of intent to homeschool that's required here. It wasn't until about a week later that I finally got a call from the school counselor, and all I can figure is that they called me because they realized they weren't getting their daily attendance money out of him.

I know there are good teachers out there, and good counselors as well. I remember some of them myself. But what is sad about that is that I remember them because they STOOD OUT from the crowd of the mediocre ones.

 

[Wannabefree]

Yeah, two weeks, is a lifetime in a childs mind. Can any of us adults even imagine living with a terrorist for two weeks?!?!?! That's what bullies realy are. They terrorize their targeted victim. Being at school for 8 plus hours a day, that's pretty much the equivalent of living with it.... It's no wonder some kids off themselves. Parents and teachers don't intervene enough, and the school systems aren't teaching the proper ways to deal with it. Kids just simply can't deal with it the same way adults can. Ignore it? Take it? Smile at/pray for/be friends with/ the bully?! Whatthecrapever people. Smack the dog mess out of them and take your lumps. One or two days of trouble is so much better than a 9 month school year of taking garbage off somebody! Anyway, I digress.

I have a ton of errands today!!! I don't wanna!!!! I feel tired and whiney already. This is very for surely gonna be a Monday, and though I am not in the habit of wishing to be older faster...this is one day I hope happens with a certain decided quickness I have to haul steel today for a friend whose vehicle is incapable of pulling it. I have to pay bills, do some shopping, pick the garden(didn't I just do that ) put up tomatoes and okra from the last garden picking, feed the hungry masses, and clean house, finish laundry, spray the house inside and out, and work in the yard. I WAS going to go to the market today, but couldn't for the life of me figure out where to squeeze it in, so, I'm skipping it. Maybe tomorrow, when it's more sane Now let's just see how much I can actually get done......

 

[Britesea]

You need to word your list like Denim Deb... some laundry... start cleaning the house... etc. That way, you can tick off stuff on the list and feel better about what you got done, lol

 

[frustratedearthmother]

 

[FarmerJamie]

two weeks waiting can be a lifetime for an adult, too.