What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[Mini Horses]

For the southern women here, I wanted to check my life experiences interacting with those from the US South. Does "I'm fixin' to" really directly translate to "I'm not doing it now, maybe later, and I hope you forget about it"?

Well, maybe so. Try setting THE box (or boxes) in an obvious place while she watches -- while nicely/matter of factly saying that they're going to the dump/shredder/burn site in XX days -- if you'd like to look for anything in there first, there you go, have at it. Walk off to attend to other things.

If a discussion ensues -- "why now, etc" just be frank but softly explain you feel the excess "stuff" needs to go to make room for new. It's your OCD, so you must tackle it, etc....just an approach

Like you, I'm thinking depression. She was in a state of bad health before the move. Now the move has her unsettled in a way she didn't expect. Her idea of move was waking up in another house but, no concern about space & reorganization. Yeah, depression is overwhelming. Does she have meds for? Maybe you should discuss with her doctor.

 

[flowerbug]

i'm glad you were persistent and could find someone to help. keep at it.

it takes time and effort to change your habits including habits of thinking. and also if there are other things going on chemically in your brain then that can make it harder to be more consistent.

what i do know is that at times i can make a choice about what i am thinking about and how those thoughts do have an effect upon my emotions.

i have gone through bouts of depression my life, at times i can feel the edges of that coming back but when it does i have a conversation with myself and remind myself that it is me who's making the choice to continue repeating those thoughts and to wallow in them.

also, remember that it is perfectly ok to take a break and think and feel whatever, cry it out, scream into a pillow, and then after a while move on...

 

[FarmerJamie]

Well, maybe so. Try setting THE box (or boxes) in an obvious place while she watches -- while nicely/matter of factly saying that they're going to the dump/shredder/burn site in XX days -- if you'd like to look for anything in there first, there you go, have at it. Walk off to attend to other things.

If a discussion ensues -- "why now, etc" just be frank but softly explain you feel the excess "stuff" needs to go to make room for new. It's your OCD, so you must tackle it, etc....just an approach

Like you, I'm thinking depression. She was in a state of bad health before the move. Now the move has her unsettled in a way she didn't expect. Her idea of move was waking up in another house but, no concern about space & reorganization. Yeah, depression is overwhelming. Does she have meds for? Maybe you should discuss with her doctor.

She is on so many meds, not sure if adding another to the cocktail would help or hurt.

Right now her ADHD hyper focus is on getting the pool sold. Hopefully the guy she was working with will come get it tomorrow.
After that her only focus was on now putting in a patio, which, we had previously doing late August.

There are 3 boxes by her desk setup in the laundry room that have been there for 2 months.

 

[Mini Horses]

So-- if guy gets pool, remind her August is when patio was decide, planned, budgeted. Do boxes now, contractors won't be there for another month. worth a shot.

Maybe a list of meds to pharmacist for detecting any that can cause crossover problems for her.

 

[tortoise]

@murphysranch I had a great experience with BetterHelp too. I'm an independent type so I'm using Rosebud AI-enhanced journaling app. Even better for me.

@FarmerJamie pretty sure I've mentioned, so apologies if this is a repeat. Inflammation in the body has the same effect as depression "sickness behavior". Vitamin deficiencies can really mess up the mind too. Some of the depression needs have beneficial effects on the physical issues. SSRIs suppress mast cell activity, for example. hopefully her medical care team can adjust and help get through this challenge

 

[FarmerJamie]

@murphysranch I had a great experience with BetterHelp too. I'm an independent type so I'm using Rosebud AI-enhanced journaling app. Even better for me.

@FarmerJamie pretty sure I've mentioned, so apologies if this is a repeat. Inflammation in the body has the same effect as depression "sickness behavior". Vitamin deficiencies can really mess up the mind too. Some of the depression needs have beneficial effects on the physical issues. SSRIs suppress mast cell activity, for example. hopefully her medical care team can adjust and help get through this challenge

Yes, we have discussed this.

Last blood labwork says she is anemic

 

[flowerbug]

...
Last blood labwork says she is anemic

will certainly contribute to both feeling depressed and low energy or enthusiasm. hope it can be figured out and improved soon.

 

[baymule]

Just catching up on this thread. @murphysranch I’m so sorry that you are having such trials with weight, depression and general health issues. I’m glad you sought help, how is that going for you? @tortoise tagged me about your knee(s) but I never got it for some reason.

You are always so kind to others, so supportive and gracious. I would love to have you for my next door, er make that farm, neighbor. LOL

Yes, get up and exercise. Take vitamins and a B complex. I can tell a difference when I skip mine. Eat the right foods, a healthy diet will take you far and help you lose weight.

I make long lists of things to do. I break down each one into the steps necessary to get it done. I get great satisfaction from crossing them off the list. I truly believe I have attention deficit disorder as I get tons of things started and not much finished. So the list helps me see not only what I need to do, but what I’ve already accomplished.

So make yourself a good health list. Write down simple exercises on a daily chart, then draw a line through them. It will make you feel good about yourself.

You always send out hugs and gentle pats on the back. So I’m sending you a long loving hug and gentle pats on the back.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Diagnostic procedures for her scheduled in 3 weeks. That's all we know.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Diagnostic procedures for her scheduled in 3 weeks. That's all we know.

Hope they go well!