What is the rudest thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Henrietta23]

I have had people ask probing questions about the adoption that are none of their business, then get offended when I refuse to answer. These people range from not so close family members, to acquaintences to complete strangers (who are told that DS was adopted by someone other than me!)

Wow! As the auntie of 2 beautiful adopted children, I am amazed at how clueless most people are to the etiquette of adoption. I was so very glad that my sister pointed both families to books that would help us understand so much more than we used to so we could avoid most of the hurtful things that people unwittingly say. I think people feel so entitled to all information (reality TV?) and are shocked to think that adoption stories belong to the immediate family and not the world.

You could be right about the reality TV connection. I gave copies of those kinds of books to both our immediate families. We were up against resistance from DH's parents. He had a cousin who was adopted. This man was a very challenging child, went on to do and deal drugs and OD'd at the age of 35. That was their only view of how adoption would go. We needed them to have some facts. Luckily they came around and adore their grandson. Only once did I hear MIL introduce him as her adopted grandson.
If people push for info they have no business having I tell them that it is DS's story to share or not.
ETA:
Now having read more of the comments on adoption of children who look different from their parents I'll a different one. DS happens to look a little like DH and a little like me. And it is strictly a coincidence! A number of people who know the circumstances of his adoption feel free to comment on this and some have even questioned if we chose him because he looks like us. I just comment that he could have green skin and fuscia eyes and I would love him just as much. The reason we say "He was adopted" rather than "He is adopted" is that the adoption doesn't define who he is. He is our son. Period, the end. Oh, and that brings up the people who feel they have a right to question the adoption method we chose in a very judgemental way.

 

[big brown horse]

I honestly do not think I can repeat the rudest thing that has been said to me.

Some things I do remember being told were that I was the cause of all the problems in the world and that I should kill myself, I've been told by someone that they wished I was never born, I've been told I was going to hell, I was overweight when I was younger and very often told that I was fat, that I needed to diet, that I didn't deserve to eat (a majority of them now weigh much more than me and are very unhealthy - not saying that to bash them, but to prove that you get what you give), I have also been called several racial slurs by an adult (even though I'm caucasian), most of the rest I cannot type on here because they contain swear words.

And those things I was told mainly by adults, when I still went to the public school I was told similar and sometimes worse things very frequently. Fortunately I do not have to put up with many my age anymore.

I agree with bibliophile birds, some of the comments that I consider the worst are about sexuality, race, and religion - those really get to me and hurt, they don't even have to be about me.

NOT COOL!

 

[Blackbird]

Whoa Sally! Lol

 

[big brown horse]

Yeah, you heard me...don't mess with my Blackbird, kay???

 

[Hoosiermomma]

I honestly do not think I can repeat the rudest thing that has been said to me.

Some things I do remember being told were that I was the cause of all the problems in the world and that I should kill myself, I've been told by someone that they wished I was never born, I've been told I was going to hell, I was overweight when I was younger and very often told that I was fat, that I needed to diet, that I didn't deserve to eat (a majority of them now weigh much more than me and are very unhealthy - not saying that to bash them, but to prove that you get what you give), I have also been called several racial slurs by an adult (even though I'm caucasian), most of the rest I cannot type on here because they contain swear words.

And those things I was told mainly by adults, when I still went to the public school I was told similar and sometimes worse things very frequently. Fortunately I do not have to put up with many my age anymore.

I agree with bibliophile birds, some of the comments that I consider the worst are about sexuality, race, and religion - those really get to me and hurt, they don't even have to be about me.

Well Blackbird if anyone else says anything rude, judgemental etc towards you, send them my way....I'll take care of them. Then I'll send them to Stevie....if there is anything left.

I have had plenty of hurtful, rude, judgemental, demeaning things said to me even recently. Yes it hurts deeply but I try to keep my head up and I truly believe what goes around comes around. They will get what they deserve some day.

 

[2dream]

There is no way to list all the rude and hateful things that have been said to me in my lifetime. During my elementary, Jr. High and High school days about my weight. Not because I was over weight but because I never weighed over 98lbs.
At 5'6" you can guess that I was skin and bones. I ate like a horse. As a teenager it hurt. As I got older it just kind of bounced off. Now at 130 my family tells me I am getting fat. (You can't win) My SIL tells me I need to dye my hair because my DH is gonna leave me if I go completely grey. Complete strangers tell me I would look so much better with make-up. I have even been ask if I ever considered a new hair style. At my age now they can not hurt me. (A benefit of being old). I just consider the source of all these remarks. They come from people that are trying desperately to hang on to their youth or feel better about themselves or are jealous of my confidence, and totally do not understand who I am. I love my grey hair, my hairstyle is easy and suites me, and make-up money is money I would rather spend on seed and feed for my animals. However, get to personal with me and I can give a lot better than I get. I have no problem pointing out their flaws and always with a smile on my face as if we are just having a conversation. When they get their feelings hurt, I just look dumb and say "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt your feelings. After you approached me with your unsolicited advice I thought we could exchange negative slurs openly. I had no idea you were sensetive". I figure what the heck. They started it.

 

[On Our own]

My FIL is the king of rude insensitive comments. He has said so many I could write a book. His all time best though was after he met my very pretty sister.

He looked straight at me and said. "Your sister is SO pretty, what happened to you?" And he was serious! Like it was a legitimate question!

I refuse to do a battle of wits with an unarmed person is one of my favorites as is just keeping in mind Eleanor Roosevelt's quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Some time when you want we can pull up a chair and a cuppa and I'll tell you how I got FIL under control!

 

[Diavolicchio]

Yeah...people are nicer to me now that I am no longer 300 lbs. Even people who have known me forever. Kind of t's me off.

I wouldn't want to T you off. So in honor of your previous weight, I'll continue to treat you like crap. Deal?



John

 

[Diavolicchio]

The theme of this thread reminds me of something I read a few years back about the difference between having Guts and having Balls:

* * * * *

The difference between GUTS and BALLS:

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife holding a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next Fatty!"

* * * * *


John

 

[Henrietta23]

There is no way to list all the rude and hateful things that have been said to me in my lifetime. During my elementary, Jr. High and High school days about my weight. Not because I was over weight but because I never weighed over 98lbs.
At 5'6" you can guess that I was skin and bones. I ate like a horse. As a teenager it hurt. As I got older it just kind of bounced off. Now at 130 my family tells me I am getting fat. (You can't win) My SIL tells me I need to dye my hair because my DH is gonna leave me if I go completely grey. Complete strangers tell me I would look so much better with make-up. I have even been ask if I ever considered a new hair style. At my age now they can not hurt me. (A benefit of being old). I just consider the source of all these remarks. They come from people that are trying desperately to hang on to their youth or feel better about themselves or are jealous of my confidence, and totally do not understand who I am. I love my grey hair, my hairstyle is easy and suites me, and make-up money is money I would rather spend on seed and feed for my animals. However, get to personal with me and I can give a lot better than I get. I have no problem pointing out their flaws and always with a smile on my face as if we are just having a conversation. When they get their feelings hurt, I just look dumb and say "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt your feelings. After you approached me with your unsolicited advice I thought we could exchange negative slurs openly. I had no idea you were sensetive". I figure what the heck. They started it.

That was me too, from Kindergarten through HS. 5'9" by the time I was 13. Skinny, flat chested and shy. I always felt like people thought it was okay to tease me about my weight because I wasn't overweight. If I got upset I was oversensitive, after all it wasn't like they were calling me fat. Somehow it was okay. I'd actually forgotten that since I haven't been underweight in a very long time. A very very long time! I had middle school classmates accuse me of being anorexic. Sigh, at least now that I'm overweight the people I hang out with tend to be mature enough to keep their mouths shut.