what to do when your spouse doesn't "get it"...ss that is!

[SSDreamin]

My DH used to pick on me constantly about my 'habits'. His favorite thing to do was wait until there was company over, then say "Oh, by the way, I noticed there's only 24 rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom. You better run right out and get some more!" He'd get a big laugh. Just one of many of his 'look at Cindi, aren't her weird habits funny' type of comments. Then he got laid off, which he does yearly. Then he didn't get called back. Month after month went by. It began to dawn on him that Cindi's weird habit was keeping the expenses down! Now, he is very into SS, maybe more so than I am!

 

[me&thegals]

I don't have an answer, just writing to offer my support. I'm in the same boat. Not a clue as to how to get my DH to change his evil ways. When you figure your man out please share your methods.

Why is it that on TV it's the woman who wastes money? Here it seems to be the men. I'd like to hear from men who are frugal. My grandpa and one uncle are frugal to an extreme. There must be other men out there who can tell us how to turn our men around.

Well once you have nutered us it is easy. If I ever get depressed about never having found a mate I just read some more of this thread and realize that I missed a whole lot of trouble not just good times. ~gd Male and SELF Sufficient.

Ouch. This IS a bit of a chauvanistic thread, isn't it?

I will step up for the guys here and say my husband is VERY frugal. He didn't used to be, though. These days his only spending money happens on hunting and an occasional soda when he's out hauling grain. Incredibly little for clothing, nothing for eating out, only hunting for hobby.

 

[cabinchick]

My DH is a work in progress. He's really into stocking up on some things, but blows money on stuff I just don't feel we need (direct TV is a BIG issue in my house ) . Sitting in front of the TV watching "LockDown___" for hours irritates the heck out of me. But he's come a long way with other stuff, like raising some of our own meat, veggies etc. He has really enjoyed trying those things. Now we're working on a prep locker - he's down with that and sees the value of "ISHF". So don't give up, it takes some of us a little longer than others. I don't think it has anything to do with gender. Most of us have sucummed to the "spend, spend, spend, there's no end to the things we can have" attitude, but obvously that attitude is changing, or we wouldn't have this forum
I was pretty poor (relatively speaking for an American) when I had my oldest son. He is now a gainfully employed entrepeneur, doing very very well and raising his own family. I spoiled my two youngest kids. They turned out to be lazy brats as teenagers, wish I had done things differently. But now as young adults, they are eager to learn frugality, social responsibility, etc. Like I said, it just takes time

 

[hqueen13]

My DH is a work in progress.

Aren't we all?

 

[rd200]

My DH is a work in progress.

Aren't we all?

Agreed!!!!

 

[Britesea]

My DH grew up in a family that was always poor. I grew up in an upper middle class family with a mother that spent like no tomorrow and a father that was frugal. When I first met my MIL, I thought it was kinda funny that she carefully washed the plastic ziplocs to reuse them. I have changed over the years and become more frugal and ss, and it's really nice to discover that my DH had carefully planned our life for future hard times- where we live, his skills, his career. And of course, he has been very supportive of my growing interest in ss.

 

[Beekissed]

I bet you get along with your MIL a lot more now, also.....

 

[Avalon1984]

Same problem with hubby here. He does make more money than me and pays the mortgages. He likes to go out to eat and socialize (he is such a social butterfly) and I would rather just come home from work, be home and relax. I got used to it and it is his money he is spending. He is starting to see how I budget myself and the farm. At first he said I would never ever make any money with them horses, but I havent heard that since I sold one that paid for all the yearly hay and he actually made some commission of it since he was part owner I also pay for all utilities and have some debt to pay off from immigrating to this country and buying a truck for the farm. I cut all debt in half this year by budgeting better and his jaw dropped when he saw it. I have also become more frugal with heat in the winter and kept the house at 52. At first he wasnt happy but then he saw that our heat bill was a mere 25% of last years and how much more money was left over at the end of the month, he has now become a big friend of saving electricity, water and heat. He is such a sweetheart though. I say just show him what it can do and he will learn sooner than later 

 

[Avalon1984]

I bet you get along with your MIL a lot more now, also.....

Hey Beekissed !

 

[Mattemma]

Sometimes you just can't make people see the usefullness of your choices. Just do what you feel is best and hopefully over time they will realise the benefits of your ways.

If not that is ok I guess as long as you do what you feel is best. I do teach the kids a lot in hopes that they live a life more in line with my values.

If your dh likes to read maybe he would enjoy the Cody Lundin book" When all Hell Breaks Loose. Stuff you need to survive when disaster strikes.

I don't know if it is good,but I got a kick out of the pictures.Fact is you just don't know when things will happen.Loss of power during bad weather.Shoot,we had a earthquake here in Ohio last weekend.Shook our house something fierce.A few more and I might start seeing cracks on the foundation.

My neighbor and mom both broke bones and are missing weeks of work.Neighbor had a brain bleed and almost died.People get sick and hurt.Lose income.Can't always buy what we want,and should be grateful if we can get what we need.

Save money.Stock up on things. I am so glad for the times I had things when I could not go out to the store.