What's most important in life (Warning, very emotional)

[Denim Deb]

I wasn't sure where to post this, so have posted it here. I hope it makes sense. I'm kind of numb right now. I had this all figured out earlier and can't remember now what I was going to say.

Today we had a very bad shake up in my family. I got a call just b4 1:00 pm that my SIL had died. She was a year younger than I. While we don't know the cause for certain yet, we all pretty much believe it was due to a medication that she had taken yesterday. She complained that her heart was racing, and she was having heart palpitations. She called her doctor, and he never called her back. My brother tried to get her to go to the ER last night, but she wouldn't go. This morning, she collapsed. I don't know all the details. I know the ambulance came, but I don't know what time this all happened. In a way, it was good that I didn't get a call sooner since I had my 4 H club this morning.

My sister's birthday is tomorrow, and my brother's birthday is next Saturday. Lately, I have not been sending cards or calling any one for their birthday. I've just been too busy. This morning, I had decided I was going to call my sister tomorrow.

Monday, I went out w/some friends for dinner. To get there, I went past my parents. I thought about stopping on my way home, but was tired, so I didn't stop.

I never called either of my parents last year and wished them a happy birthday. I was just too busy.

And, I've come to realize, that I'm too busy to take the time to let the people that I care most about know that I love them. I knew my SIL wasn't feeling well yesterday. Her sister, KN, had told me. I was going to call her, but forgot. Now, I wish that I had.

From now on, there are going to be changes in my life. My dad is 80, my mom 76, and my MIL is 81. I rarely talk to any of them. I barely talk to my kids. They're both "adults", but since they're not around often when I am, I don't talk to them. And, even if they are here, I'm too busy. Unexpected things happen everyday. There is no guarantee that any of us will see tomorrow. So, from now on, I plan on letting the people I care about most know it. If I can take the time to get on here, or sit back and read a book, or whatever, I can take a few minutes to call people, and tell them I love them, if nothing else.

But, I would appreciate some prayers. I don't grieve over my SIL. I know where she is, and I know I'll see her again. But, I'm grieving for my brother. He's going to be burying his wife of just under 30 years right b4 his birthday. How can I wish him a happy birthday?

I'm grieving for my nieces. The older is 21, the younger 17. They're not going to have their mother there for those important milestones in their lives. I'll do as much as I can for them, but I'm their aunt, not their mother.

I'm grieving for my SIL's family. While I lost my SIL, they lost a sister and a daughter.

Right now, I'm numb, and I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. So, please, pray for us.

 

[BarredBuff]

I will pray to father for strength of all of you in your family. I will ask that he may comfort your brother and your nieces so that he will be okay. I ask that he may send you a revival that you seem to be wanting. I pray he will instill strength inside of you so you will make it also, I pray that the spirit will be with all of you.

Deb Im so sorry! Im about to cry!

 

[Farmfresh]

All I can say is so, so sorry.

 

[Wannabefree]

Lifting you up sister!

I had one of those moments today as well where I just wondered what if and I deeply deeply missed some of my friends and family instantly, so I got on the phone and talked to a few folks. you never know from day to day what will happen. Whether it be you or a loved one. I'd like to know that everyone I care about beyond a shadow of a doubt knows I loved them before my time is up. No regrets. That is why i always tell anyone I am talking to on the phone that I love them, just before we hang up. Brother, mother, sister, grandma, aunt, uncle, niece, friends, everyone, every time, without fail. I just want them to know it. I feel guilty for not calling more often as well But really, they know, and I know that. So, for your brother, just tell him you love him, and to the nieces and everyone as well. It helps to hear it as often as you get the priviledge of saying it to them.

 

[lwheelr]

I'm sorry that your family has to go through this. Hollow words, I know. The only thing I have to say, is, be gentle with yourself.

Make the changes you feel are necessary, but don't beat yourself up. Grief requires gentleness and patience. For your brother's family, the hardest times will be after the initial attention dies down, and then again, at about 1 year after. He will need family most then.

May peace and comfort come to your family.

 

[justusnak]

Oh Deb....I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You are right...we tend to get wrapped up in "life" and forget to let the ones who mean the most to us, know that we love them. You all are in our prayers.

 

[FarmerJamie]

May you find strength and peace.

 

[Henrietta23]

Oh! So sorry Deb, that is just awful.

 

[savingdogs]

Deb my dear friend, that is such sad news. I will pray for your family.

Your SIL would not want you to feel guilty for not contacting her enough. She knew you were a busy person, she probably was too. It is good to remember to love and cherish those around us though so it can be a time when your family comes closer together. The death of my father brought my brother and I much closer together than we had ever been and we have stayed that way now for 20 years. I will never think of my dad's passing as a blessing but sometimes families can grow closer because they....need to.

You cannot fill in for those young ladies mom but you can offer to be there when they need someone female in the family. Try to find a regular event or reason to get together with them for awhile if you can, such as a once a month Sunday dinner or meeting at a restaurant for lunch every other week, or something of that nature so you can keep up with them and keep the connection stronger. I find I do much better with the people I need to stay in contact with if we both know we have a regular "day" on the calender and you can perhaps counsel them a bit as it unfolds. You can be the one that watches the milestones for them and cheers their coming of age.

I will remember your family in my prayers at this very difficult time.

 

[Beekissed]

I was just talking to my mother today about there not being any "do-overs" after one dies. It seems you have had that brought home to you, Deb, and maybe one good thing has come of today's events.

I'm so sorry and will be praying for you and your family during this time.