What's most important in life (Warning, very emotional)

[dragonlaurel]

Telling him "happy birthday" might feel too weird right now but you could tell him that "you want to take him to lunch ( or whatever you both enjoy doing ), for his birthday, because he's important to you". A big party might not go over well, but he might welcome some distraction.

Thanks for posting this. I have a few calls to make.

 

[Denim Deb]

Thanks, everyone. And, DL. I think that's a good idea. If I can swing it, I'll take him and the girls out to the diner on Saturday. Or, if I can't, maybe I can get a few others to chip in.

I don't know when the funeral is going to be. Depending on when the funeral is, my sister will be down from CT. I don't know if my other brother will be able to make it-he lives in Germany, but maybe we could get the whole family to go, and we all split the cost for Steve and the girls.

My one niece goes to school not too far from the farm. She used to come out to the farm to ride. I'm thinking that if she wants to, I could swing by occasionally and pick her up.

 

[AnnaRaven]

From now on, there are going to be changes in my life. My dad is 80, my mom 76, and my MIL is 81. I rarely talk to any of them. I barely talk to my kids. They're both "adults", but since they're not around often when I am, I don't talk to them. And, even if they are here, I'm too busy. Unexpected things happen everyday. There is no guarantee that any of us will see tomorrow. So, from now on, I plan on letting the people I care about most know it. If I can take the time to get on here, or sit back and read a book, or whatever, I can take a few minutes to call people, and tell them I love them, if nothing else.

I think this is a wonderful reminder to us all. My sincere condolences to you and your family on your loss.

 

[FarmerChick]

that is so tragic and SIL was so young.

Prayers for your family to make it thru this tough time.

don't worry about his birthday, just say happy birthday and let it pass because I am sure it is the last thing on his mind now. Poor guy....so hard for him I am sure!

 

[savingdogs]

My father passed a few days before Christmas. Unfortunately, it has always been when we mark the time of his death and count how many years it has been.
My BFF lost her father ON her birthdate. It has been 10 years but she says her birthday has always been bittersweet since then.
It may be like that for your brother. This year I suspect he will be numb, it is NEXT year that the reality of having her gone will have fully hit him. It was year two that we all kind of realized he would never again be there to celebrate with us. The year he died, we were celebrating his life, so it kind of felt like he was still there. By the following year, all traces of him were gone.

I thought about your brother last night. He is going to be beyond kicking himself for not making her go to the hospital. People do that under any circumstance, but he is going to especially. I remember my mother feeling guilty because she prepared dinner a half hour later than normal and didn't call my dad to supper and notice that he had had a heart attack in the garage. We had to talk to her over and over about that. The one nearest to it becomes overwhelmed with "what ifs" and it seems like he is going to wish over and over that he had fought with her harder about going to the hospital. When the time is right, I would suggest grief counseling for your brother so that he doesn't let that eat him up inside.

My husband has epilepsy and there are times I wanted to take him to the hospital and he fought me. I always wonder if he were to have a huge seizure how guilty I would feel for not being more insistent. But it is very common for the ill person to say they are fine.....

I think there is a different lessen in this for all of us SS types. When you or a loved one is feeling really bad, i.e. chest pain, go to the hospital no matter how SS you feel or how much you are worried about the bill or how much "trouble" it was or life changes it makes. It sounds like your SIL did not want to bother anyone taking her in and of course all her loved ones would be only so happy to have the chance now to take her to see if something could have been done. But your brother could not have known......poor man. I am going to say a special prayer that he knows he did nothing wrong and comes to understand this is Gods will and nothing he could have done would have changed anything.

 

[Javamama]

My sympathies go out to you and your family Deb.

 

[BarredBuff]

This morning I made sure I told Granny that I loved her before I left.....

 

[Dace]

Deb thank you for that important reminder, I am sorry that it came at such a tragic loss to your family.

You all will be in my prayers.

 

[chickenone]

All we really have in life is the people that we love.

Thanks for the reminder.

So sorry for all the sadness that has befallen your family.

 

[glenolam]

I echo all the good words that have been sent already.