Would I be a bad mom.. UPDATE

[curly_kate]

I will preface this by saying, I don't have kids, but I have worked with special needs kids for the past 11 years. I think that it really depends on the kid, in how you deal with them. What exactly will they respond to? Some of my students I have to be completely blunt with for them to understand how serious I am. Obviously, I have to be professional at all times, but there are some kids who just need to hear the cold, hard facts for them to respond. There are other kids who will fly into a rage if you look at them sideways, so I have to handle them a little differently. The bottom line is that I always convey to them that while their behavior is inappropriate, and there are consequences, I CARE about them and want them to succeed.

So in a nutshell, YOU know your daughter. YOU know how she will react. What works for one kid doesn't always work for another.

 

[aggieterpkatie]

They need to know that their behavior is so bad that even their family doesn't like them at that moment.

I can't agree with this one. For one, many kids will be terrors. If you cannot accept this, don't have children. To break a kid's heart by telling them that their family doesn't accept them is not "enforcing rules", it's breaking their hearts. I'm bi-polar. I've always had a tough time, especially with my mother, who is a control freak, lol. But when she did things to make me think that she didn't care anymore, etc, etc, I turned to suicidal thoughts. IMO, I don't care if a kid is a pain in the ass. So long as they're not trying to kill anyone, I don't believe kicking them out so that you don't have to worry about them anymore is counter-productive. Kick them out and you're taking away chances and taking away what little you do know and have control over.

Well my mom told me that, and it didn't break my heart. It made me wake up and realize I was being a jerk. Of course, people are all different, and I'm sure being bi-polar changes things as well.

 

[abifae]

So in a nutshell, YOU know your daughter. YOU know how she will react. What works for one kid doesn't always work for another.

Very good point!

 

[abifae]

I had to post this for the last line....
Commando Training

Some participants said the training had in fact changed their outlook on life.

"Once I get out of here, I will be good to my mother. I will be good to my mother and father and willingly help them," said 15-year-old Woo Seung-yeon.

There's your answer!!

 

[Damummis]

I did it.
Yesterday, I was in a no good mood. I had to get up early to take L to the Dr for a blood test for mono (neg). It was butt nasty cold out and I was not happy. Trapped in the car, I told her, after she asked why we haven't had a "girl day". "Well, in all honesty, I am only doing this because I am your mom and it is my job. If you were anyone else, I would not be hanging out with you because I don't like the person you are becoming. Don't get me wrong, I love you very much, I just think you need to work on a few things." "SNAP, mom. Tell me how you really feel."

She took it really well. We had a long heart to heart.

 

[TTs Chicks]

I did it.
Yesterday, I was in a no good mood. I had to get up early to take L to the Dr for a blood test for mono (neg). It was butt nasty cold out and I was not happy. Trapped in the car, I told her, after she asked why we haven't had a "girl day". "Well, in all honesty, I am only doing this because I am your mom and it is my job. If you were anyone else, I would not be hanging out with you because I don't like the person you are becoming. Don't get me wrong, I love you very much, I just think you need to work on a few things." "SNAP, mom. Tell me how you really feel."

She took it really well. We had a long heart to heart.

hopefully it will sink in and she'll at least try

 

[abifae]

She took it really well. We had a long heart to heart.

That's great!!!

Hopefully things will be easier!!

If not, at least you know they will be in a few years LOL.

 

[Wannabefree]

I did it.
Yesterday, I was in a no good mood. I had to get up early to take L to the Dr for a blood test for mono (neg). It was butt nasty cold out and I was not happy. Trapped in the car, I told her, after she asked why we haven't had a "girl day". "Well, in all honesty, I am only doing this because I am your mom and it is my job. If you were anyone else, I would not be hanging out with you because I don't like the person you are becoming. Don't get me wrong, I love you very much, I just think you need to work on a few things." "SNAP, mom. Tell me how you really feel."

She took it really well. We had a long heart to heart.

I did that with DD13 the other day as well because she is being immature and irresponsible about her chores and her attitude toward me and her daddy. She teared up and said she was sorry. I thought all was well....next day...right back to the same thing. I'm talking LESS THAN 12 hours later!!! So, what I am saying is this...don't count on there being a huge change all of a sudden, don't set yourself up for it. Kids are just mush for brains at these ages. IF it sinks in you're darn lucky. Only thing you can really do...wait for them to finish developing. Feel sorry for them through their stupidity. It really is NOT their fault. The human brain doesn't completely develop until the mid twenties. The last area to develop is reasoning skills in the frontal lobe area of the brain. Mush for brains is not an insult....it's just really all fluff up there right now I remember being a moron DD has tried my patience more than a few times, and the only thing that saves children from their parents just flat out murdering them half the time is they're cute Even when you don't want to look at them, they're still cute. That DD13 I have is still the same goofy DD6 that stood in a chair at the stove and helped me put cookies on a pan and snuck a lump of dough every 30 seconds as if I didn't know what she was doing They're just dumb....they grow out of it. In the mean time, try to keep her safe as possible, and if you tell her the same thing enough times it'll stick in that melon somewhere. Ya know with a dog it takes 1500 times before they learn it....teens are about the same

This is meant kind of tongue in cheek, but at the same time, there IS a lot of truth to it. My DD13 drives me up the wall. She does dangerous things without thinking about the consequences. It's a stupid kid thing. Age means nothing, they're a child mentally until mid twenties. Want to know why young folks do so much stupid? That's why. Our job is to just make sure they survive until they grow a brain....literally. Good luck and

 

[FarmerJamie]

And it's no easier if you're a dad trying to relate to a teenage daughter. At least the mom-daughter thing leaves open the opportunity to have a good "bonding" moment with crying and ice cream. (at least that's how it's here).

Dad talking "logic" to hormone teen daughter is nothing more than

Watching for nuggets of advice here.

 

[tortoise]

Stuck in the car. Nice timing! Good job Momma!