Would I be a bad mom.. UPDATE

[Damummis]

I feel it is more incentive then bribe.

 

[AnnaRaven]

I feel it is more incentive then bribe.

Honestly, for me it wouldn't have worked. 21 is so far off when you're 16 that it really wouldn't have mattered to my choices at 16. (Remember at 16, 5 years is a third of your life, and feels like more of it than that because the first couple years don't really count.)

Not saying don't do it, just don't expect it to have any real effect on her decisionmaking.

 

[MsPony]

Woulda worked in me and fiances family!! I'm the only one not to get preggers under the age of 21. Huge knock on wood there, as I have 5 months until that's official lol!!

 

[Dunkopf]

I wish my parents would have offered me 2100.00. I didn't lose mine till I was 24.

 

[Wifezilla]

 

[Wifezilla]

Not every kid smokes dope w/ no job in the basement.

No, not every kid. Just the ones my son grew up with. It's so sad. They were so sweet when they were in 1st grade

 

[booker81]

I just wanna say and give for being a mom to your 16 y/o.

I was a pretty good teen, because I didn't have a choice in the matter. Dad got really sick and was in a coma for a while, and mom fell off the wagon. There was a large horse breeding and training farm to run, and in order to have food and gas and pay the bills, someone had to run it. So, at 14, I got my farm drivers license and did it.

My brother went the way of my mom, and did drugs, alcohol, anything.

Mom and dad are still around, my brother got straight after the Marines. I still love them all, but I still carry those memories.

I would have given anything to have a mom like you who would have been there to fight with, argue with, who really gave a rip about what I did, who paid attention to what I did.

So and keep caring, though she drives you up a wall. I'd trade a whole heap to have those hard years back if I could have a real mom who actually cared like you do.

 

[tortoise]

To whoever has the girl experimenting with sex: Show her what an average bill for prenatal, birthing and post natal care is, and then follow that up with what it costs to raise a child, and just how hard it would be to be a single mother with a child. And then say that if she gets pregnant, she's on her own. Thousands of dollars and no money support to a jobless teenager might wake her up. Or, have her baby sit young kids for a few months. Then she might actually learn that work is hard, and caring for kids is harder.

Or, go the hard route, and give her a list of diseases that she can catch. Not jsut a simple listing, a straight up disease chart with all the nasty side effects and gory details. If school isn't teaching about sex and STDs, it's all up to you. If the school ISN'T teaching about sex and STDs, you need to ask why.

You need to be a tough with teenagers. Having been a teenager, I can say that. Having grown up around other teenagers who were dong things that were way more stupid than I would ever do, you need to be even more tough. Those teens parents weren't tough enough.

Love it! I have an inch thick pack of insurance statements and bills, proof of approx $75,000 in medical bills BEFORE my son was born. Over a dozen trips to the hospital, lots of hospital wristbands in the baby book. On bedrest for 3 months, taking medication 'round the clock every FOUR hours.

O yes, it was an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy.



Have her call me when she thinks she's so special and above getting pregnant or getting STDs. I was exposed to HPV, but thankfully I haven't had any problems (yet). I got it from my ex-husband having sex with my brest friend. (Notice the EX part!) and she has precancerous lesions and just ewwww!

There is a website - a medical resource site with the most disgusting photos of advanced diseases. I could find a few good photos for you.



Just sayin'

 

[Beekissed]

She won't care about icky pics or expenses incurred by pregnancy.....nor will she care about something she may earn or receive when she reaches 21.

She's 16 and life is today and it can't happen to her, only other people.

If it's any consolation, I first had sex two weeks shy of my 16 th birthday and consistently thereafter with my steady boyfriend. If my parents had found out I would have been severely beaten and he would have been quite literally killed.

No, I didn't use any protection nor did I have access to any form of birth control. We used the withdrawal method....

Yes I was a stupid girl who thought she was in love and that it would last forever and we would get married and la, la, la...happy, happy, happy.

I didn't do it to be mean to my parents, nor did I give a second thought to how bad it would hurt them if they found out or I got pregnant. I was in my little 16 yr old bubble. Yes, I knew about sin and had already accepted Jesus as my savior. It wasn't the first time I was out of the will of God and certainly wasn't the last.

BUT....I grew up. I became a mother. I made further mistakes with relationships. I worked to support my family and I raised some really great boys. I continued going to church and am now no longer living against God's will in my life, though I still sin. That can't be helped, but I know it now and repent and try hard.

I kept my children in church and taught them about God and life.

Point to this little tale of debauchery is that everyone has their own life to live, own path to trod. It is pure torture for parents when their kids engage in behavior that is possible harmful, definitely sinful and may hurt their lives for a long time.

Just because she is doing these things now doesn't mean she will always be doing stupid things. It doesn't mean you failed at your job as a parent. It doesn't mean anything at all except that life is happening in all its color, sound and swirl and sometimes it hurts your heart to watch it~but happen it will.

This too shall pass and she is not a total loss....you never know just what she will learn from her mistakes!

 

[abifae]

scare tactics always made me take bigger risks. that is definitely one that can back fire.

i had a lot of friends avoid drugs because of the scare ads and when they found out they were exaggerated, ignored the realistic stuff too.

*shrugs*

pretty much you just have to get through til they are in the mid to late twenties without killing them

my step dad and i, for the record, are now wonderful friends and he feels like a jerk for kicking me out and i KNOW i was a jerk for needing kicked out. LOL.