You have GOT to be kidding me............

[ScottSD]

such as accepting that your children are eventually going to make their own choices,

Exactly. My children know how we feel about this, they know the consequences, they know our past experiences. We have taught them from the get-go how to make good choices. I will continue to preach abstinence. And they know that. After that, I can only HOPE that they make good choices. right now, and I plan on keeping it this way, our communication is wide open. If they ever plan on having sex I am hoping we can talk about THEIR choice. After that, we will go from there. If THEY choose to have sex, it will be safe sex. I am not unrealistic here. I was a teenager once, obviiously, so I know what its like. I could only wish that my parents had been open about discussing premarital sex, it might have saved me alot of grief.

I agree that we need to teach them so they can make their own choices...and hopefully these are good choices.

I also agree that abstinence is what they should be taught.

The link in the original post was talking about handing out these things to 12 year olds.

12 year olds?

 

[miss_thenorth]

I know, my dd is 12. I couldn't even imagine..... even my son who is almost 14.

 

[bibliophile birds]

m_tn, you sound like a great parent. your kids are lucky to have you. honest, open communication is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing, and probably the hardest to find.

 

[miss_thenorth]

m_tn, you sound like a great parent. your kids are lucky to have you. honest, open communication is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing, and probably the hardest to find.

Thank you. They are my reason for being. My philosophy is --God entrusted me these children to raise for Him. It is my responsibility to raise them as best I can. I will only get one chance to raise them, so I'm doing the absolute best I can.

 

[redux]

I agree that we need to teach them so they can make their own choices...and hopefully these are good choices.

I also agree that abstinence is what they should be taught.

The link in the original post was talking about handing out these things to 12 year olds.

12 year olds?

You would be shocked to learn how many 12 year olds are sexually active. Parents can "teach", or preach, until they turn blue. Kids are going to do what they want.

I don't think you want them being unprotected.

 

[Bebop]

When I was that age, abstinence was taught and it just didn't work. I had many classmates that were sexually active, condoms were not frequently purchased, and of course, there were some that got pregnant by the time they reached high school, and many were pregnant or even having their second kid before they graduated.
Condoms were not mentioned, neither was birth control.
It was a small town and a lot of the parents were comfortable talking or having us being taught about these things. Just "scare tactics" STDs, and just don't do it. Sign a little card saying you won't...
We were kids on the verge of puberty, or already there. There was a need to rebel. and of course from a biological standpoint, puberty = biologically able to produce children = sex drive
It's too bad they didn't have safe sex literature, gave out condoms, or things like that.. or at least made it less of a taboo.
Sex is just a part of life and as uncomfortable as society makes you feel about it, it just happens and it's always best to talk about it, talk to your kids about your hopes and dreams for them, let them tell you their hopes and dreams, keep an open mind, and let them know straight up what the consequences may be if they decide to become sexually active.

 

[Occamstazer]

Bebop,

 

[cjparker]

First, I am in my mid-50's. When I was in 7th grade (7th grade!!!), two girls in my class "went to live with their aunt", and came back the next year with older, sadder eyes. This was in a school where we were all "good kids" and mostly raised in two-parent homes with mom at home full time. We barely understood menstural cycles, let alone the sex act.

Fast forward about 30 years. My then 12 year old daughter came home in complete disgust, telling me that several of the girls in her class were bj'ing some of the boys in their class. She was in 6th grade, in a nice Lutheran school that taught age-appropriate sex ed from 3rd grade on. She told me that the girls didn't feel they were having sex, because they had not had intercourse. Believe me, the discussion I had with the principal of the school was the most embarassing yet necessary conversation of my life.

So, condoms for 12 year olds? In theory, I detest the idea. In reality, it could prevent a pregnancy, or worse.

Talk talk talk with the kids, share your values and explain why delaying intimacy is vital to their growth, but let them know too how to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy or disease.

 

[old fashioned]

Talk talk talk with the kids, share your values and explain why delaying intimacy is vital to their growth, but let them know too how to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancy or disease.

EXACTLY!!!

 

[bibliophile birds]

She told me that the girls didn't feel they were having sex, because they had not had intercourse.

that is such a prevalent idea and it's disturbing. i have a good friend who is about as Catholic as you can get. in high school she started having anal sex with her boyfriend but kept talking about how she was remaining pure until marriage because she wasn't "having sex." i was flabbergasted. this behavior of hers went on into college and guess who was the first person i personally knew to get an STD? yep, the girl who considered herself a "virgin."

there are also some shocking numbers about the % of young girls who think oral sex isn't sex and end up getting raped. now, rape is never a girl's fault, but a lot of young girls are putting themselves into unsafe situations because they don't think what they are doing is sex and, therefore, risky.

but sex education almost completely ignores anything but genital to genital intercourse. we're teaching our kids that they shouldn't do that so they think the rest isn't sex and it's ok to do at any age. i will admit that that was my experience. i feel like i was sexualized too young because we had all the information on what to do, but not what it meant to do it. even though i knew my friend was insane to think she was not having sex, i honestly believed that I wasn't having sex either. we were both misinformed and delusional.