Are you poor? I just gotta get this out....

[moxies_chickennuggets]

Somebody says you are "poor"? And their definition of "rich" ...is? Rat race?....electronics and cellphones....keeping up with the Joneses? Well, I would start off with.."None of your biz what my family income consists of....."...and just because you don't want to "keep up.." in no way indicates poverty. If dollars define happiness.....so must debt ratio. If that is the case....I am miserably under the bridge poor.

Most people have no idea of what constitutes poverty. To me, it just sounds like they are rubbing it in...what they have..possessions...just try to justify their spending. Because, we know, that they know.......they are going to be the "poor" ones...when they lose their jobs...their homes....their possessions...due to economic downturns.

I have never been "rich". Although, for 23 years, I was the spousal half of a 2 income marriage.....A1 credit score, mortgages, properties, debts, etc. That all went South, for reasons I shall not divulge here. I have been divorced 10 yrs now. Went from 50K joint income per annum...to $500.00 a month..by myself. And I was the one had to pay child support. Go figure.

Anyways......just let them talk. You need not justify yourself to anyone.

 

[snapshot]

Both sides of our family and most of our friends think we are poor and we don't mind at all. We are the only ones with no debt who live within our means that we know. Due to our lifestyle we have traveled more than family and friends and had a much more interesting life! We decided 10 years ago when we bought our used travel trailer that we wanted a life rather than stuff and have lived accordingly. We discovered that with less stuff, we had to work less. Now we are ready to settle and are still maintaining our "living within our means" status. I believe that in (most) cases in this country--poor --is just a perceived state of mind.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

Both sides of our family and most of our friends think we are poor and we don't mind at all. We are the only ones with no debt who live within our means that we know. Due to our lifestyle we have traveled more than family and friends and had a much more interesting life! We decided 10 years ago when we bought our used travel trailer that we wanted a life rather than stuff and have lived accordingly. We discovered that with less stuff, we had to work less. Now we are ready to settle and are still maintaining our "living within our means" status. I believe that in (most) cases in this country--poor --is just a perceived state of mind.

 

[JRmom]

It's (mostly) a matter of perception (and usually other people's perception). I have no clue what the government says constitutes "being poor", income-wise. My husband is an upholsterer and believe me, we're never gonna get rich off of that career choice. I make decent enough money working from home, but I rarely work a 40 hour week, as is evident by my time spent on this forum. But by our friend's perception, yes, we are poor. We have 2 used vehicles, rarely go out to eat, and haven't taken a vacation in years. Just by growing a garden, our friend's perception is that I must not be able to afford fresh veggies at the grocery store. We have no debt besides a mortgage. We don't use credit cards.

BUT, by making a choice about how we do spend our money (used cars = no car payments, less expensive insurance and saving money; not going out to eat = better meals at home and saving money; not going on vacation = saving money and "vacationing" at our cabin every weekend), we are able to live in town where my husband's job is, plus own a weekend place that will be paid off way before either of us are retirement age. When we do make a permanent move to the cabin, one small income will be sufficient and we can sit back and relax a bit while our friends are still working 40 hours plus a week just to break even. But I'm sure they will still perceive us as being poor.

I've had some comments directed at me before, so I understand the frustration. But I finally realized that it's really not their fault. My friends and I were all raised with the mindset that you need to work, work, work and buy, buy, buy. It's been shoved down our throats from a very early age that you must work for money then spend that money, then get up the next morning and do it all over again. I chose to get off that merry-go-round and I'm much happier. At the end of the day, that's all that counts, how you feel.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

It's (mostly) a matter of perception (and usually other people's perception). I have no clue what the government says constitutes "being poor", income-wise. My husband is an upholsterer and believe me, we're never gonna get rich off of that career choice. I make decent enough money working from home, but I rarely work a 40 hour week, as is evident by my time spent on this forum. But by our friend's perception, yes, we are poor. We have 2 used vehicles, rarely go out to eat, and haven't taken a vacation in years. Just by growing a garden, our friend's perception is that I must not be able to afford fresh veggies at the grocery store. We have no debt besides a mortgage. We don't use credit cards.

BUT, by making a choice about how we do spend our money (used cars = no car payments, less expensive insurance and saving money; not going out to eat = better meals at home and saving money; not going on vacation = saving money and "vacationing" at our cabin every weekend), we are able to live in town where my husband's job is, plus own a weekend place that will be paid off way before either of us are retirement age. When we do make a permanent move to the cabin, one small income will be sufficient and we can sit back and relax a bit while our friends are still working 40 hours plus a week just to break even. But I'm sure they will still perceive us as being poor.

I've had some comments directed at me before, so I understand the frustration. But I finally realized that it's really not their fault. My friends and I were all raised with the mindset that you need to work, work, work and buy, buy, buy. It's been shoved down our throats from a very early age that you must work for money then spend that money, then get up the next morning and do it all over again. I chose to get off that merry-go-round and I'm much happier. At the end of the day, that's all that counts, how you feel.

Hmmm...that does sound alot like brainwashing. Consumerism? Capitalism? Spend...spend...spend!! I know,I was raised the same way, to an extent. But I decided early on, that I am responsible for how I live my own life, make my own choices, etc. Nobody else is paying my debts. I just wish my kids saw it the same way. They are all adults, but refuse to act like one.

 

[JRmom]

I wouldn't call it brainwashing exactly. It's just that our parents (mine anyway) came of age in a new world, after the war, when times were good and jobs were plentiful. They were able to spend like their parents and grandparents before them were never able to do. They were able to have more than their parents, and I was able to have more than mine. Like I said though, it's a matter of perception. Working my butt off and having a new car and buying "things" for the house every week is not my perception (any more) of a good life. Simpler is better.

 

[moxies_chickennuggets]

I wouldn't call it brainwashing exactly. It's just that our parents (mine anyway) came of age in a new world, after the war, when times were good and jobs were plentiful. They were able to spend like their parents and grandparents before them were never able to do. They were able to have more than their parents, and I was able to have more than mine. Like I said though, it's a matter of perception. Working my butt off and having a new car and buying "things" for the house every week is not my perception (any more) of a good life. Simpler is better.

Well true...maybe not seriously...brainwashing. I was thinking more on the lines of consumerism. Just watch the commercials, listen to the promos...telling us how we have to have this or that. I was thinking more on the lines of the 50's and 60's....and later. I taught my kids to "read" the commercials. Too many, are unaware of it all. It just all snowballs so bad. Think of Christmas in Walmart, in October.

 

[snapshot]

A big part of the reason we are settling is because we are tired of being just "consumers"!!! The thread on this forum about 'what do you produce?" drives it home for me! Although I can make bread and can anything, I still have to buy it all! That thread about made me cry! I am so looking forward to being on a small farm.!!

 

[Marianne]

Some people feel poor with a couple thousand sitting in the bank, after their bills. Other people feel fine if they make the rent and have food in the cabinet.
The most I ever made in a year, was barely over the poverty line but I was happy cause I had my own place, good friends, and was doing work that I enjoyed.

Exactly! We have close friends that retired with absolutely NO bills, nice house paid off, two nice vehicles paid off, take short trips all the time, eat out a lot, etc, etc. He watches the news on TV all day long, complains constantly and is miserable. He worked long, hard hours for years to have a retirement hobby of checking expiration dates on everything around the house.

They have a lot more $$ and stuff than we do, but we're a lot happier. We've done the feast or famine flip flop during the years. I actually prefer the feast aspect of it. But now I know more stuff and don't need or want other 'stuff'. It truly is a state of mind.

 

[Marianne]

A big part of the reason we are settling is because we are tired of being just "consumers"!!! The thread on this forum about 'what do you produce?" drives it home for me! Although I can make bread and can anything, I still have to buy it all! That thread about made me cry! I am so looking forward to being on a small farm.!!

Don't beat yourself up! We all have different levels of SS. There's nothing wrong with scoring a really good buy of 40# of potatoes and then processing them for later. Just making your own convenience foods (lessening your consumerism) is a good step. There are people on here that are trying to be as SS as possible while living in an apartment. Feel good about the steps you are taking now!