Blue Skys: Not ready for change.

[Blue Skys]

That didn't sound rash. I can't afford to stay here. I only have a very part time job, I've half way tried to find something full time that paid decent, but nothing has come of that the last couple of months. I don't want to ask for any sort of alimony, I don't feel right about that. oh and in Texas, theres no such thing as a legal seperation. I did go for a consultation with an attorney, but don't find it necessary for any legal assistance for now.

I did, however, talk to him today and he thinks he may stay here. I talked to him about putting it up for sale, but he may decide to stay here for a couple of years, so he will attempt to refinance in his name, which might be possible - His credit's not terrible, but I don't know what type of regulations they have on mortgages now, but we've got a good relationship with our bank, so hopefully that can happen.

It's so very hard that we are being nice to each other, I think it would make it easier if one of us had done something wrong or betrayed the other somehow. I still just don't want to leave, but know that staying here is not the right thing for either of us. I'll miss him and he'll miss me, I'll have to learn to let go and not worry about him and what he's eating and things like that.

Now I just have to find homes for my chickens, rabbits and a LGD that has a great personality, but just doesn't want to make frineds with people. She's very sweet though and does her job well.

 

[Lady Henevere]

Sorry you're going through this.

 

[lalaland]

well, here's another thought (keeping in mind I for sure don't know the whole story!)

- could you agree to separate, let him refinance the house, and you stay put for a while? give yourself time to figure out where you want to go and how? It sounds like you are both friendly to each other and there isn't any emotional or other abuse.....

I've had the experience of still sharing the house with someone after we decided the relationship was over - it was sometimes painful, but with separate rooms and a fair amount of trying to be fair to the other person, and some basic agreements ( don't bring anyone else to the house for example) - it took about 8 months for us to sort out the stuff, and we both looked for other places to live.

might work for you! but, listen to your gut. If you read this and your gut says NO WAY, then....trust your instincts.

will say one more thing: life has always been better on the other side of what ever disaster/break-up/heartbreak I've experienced. I think it is that way for most people, so trust that there are better times ahead after you get through the hard part.

hang in there!

 

[Wifezilla]

I have trouble being friends, I often read posts that I want to comment on, but don't feel as though I should, because my opinion doesn't matter? I need to cut that crap out, open up and be myself.

It can be really hard. Abi knows exactly what you are feeling. She struggles with face to face friendships. Online seems to be easier. You may want to PM her. Or even read her blog...

http://autism-rocks.blogspot.com