Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks ya'll. Dad will go when it's his time, that's for sure. The first time hospice told me that mom was gonna go - she stayed with us a good bit longer.

Dad has had morphine on order for quite some time - but "as needed." I told the nurse today that I don't want him to be anxious, angry, upset, or any other negative emotion. I've been a bit put out with the facility for NOT giving him the morphine that he needs for pain relief in his legs. Plus - morphine is good for COPD patients. So, today the hospice nurse put in his orders that he IS to receive morphine 3 times a day and if needed in between. That will insure that his pain is covered and should help in his breathing issues too. I know the facility is worried that they will give 'too much' but really - at this point I just want him to be comfortable.

Farm news:
My good neighbor is so good! He butchered a hog this afternoon in less than an hour from shot to ice chest.
He basically just skins and quarters it - the head, ribcage, spine and of course the guts were discarded. We wanted this one strictly for ground meat and sausage. There was some discards that in other circumstances I would have kept. But, it's one less mouth to feed!

I definitely won't have trouble sleeping tonight - I'm running on about 3 hours sleep from last night. Just about to finish this glass of wine and head to the bed.

 

[sumi]

I agree about your dad, his comfort is more important now, as is peace of mind for you, knowing he's comfortable.

That was a quick job on the pig! And one less mouth to feed and more meat in the freezer is always a good thing You have enough on your plate already.

I hope you are resting well now.

 

[NH Homesteader]

Yay on one less mouth to feed! Sounds like your neighbor is efficient!

It's a shame you have to push the facility to help your dad with meds, but he's lucky to have you to do that for him! I hope he's more comfortable now. And I hope you got some sleep!

 

[BarredBuff]

Yay on sausage makers! I have never butchered a pig. Sounds like he is a professional!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Neighbor is really good!

I'm excited - I have hay in the barn!! I got a quick tip from a co-worker that the FFA group at the high school was baling today so I dropped off my trailer this morning - they loaded it and I brought home 50 bales of Jiggs Bermuda. I only got part of it unloaded but I'll get it finished eventually. With DH being out of town I have my chores and his chores to take care of too. It's not that it's so hard - but it's more time consuming....sigh. Butchering the pig yesterday and getting the hay today has me so far behind in everyday 'stuff' and tomorrow is gonna be crazy at work.

And, then there's dad...

I went to visit him today and it's just heart-breaking. When mom died I was literally happy for her and didn't shed many tears. But, she wasn't lucid and/or aware of much around her. Dad is totally aware, even though he's in a bit of a fog. Today he looked at me and asked me a question. He said "Am I still alive?" I nodded and he said that he couldn't wait to see mom again. Then he said that my brother and I would be getting an inheritance soon. I'm like... I don't even want to talk about that. But, that's important to him...and he said that he's proud to be able to leave us something. That's dad - thinking about us.

Geeze this his hard...but no matter how hard it is on me - it's harder on him.

 

[sumi]

 

[BarredBuff]

Gotta love the FFA kids!

 

[baymule]

How sad for your Dad. That is truly heart breaking. I wish him a peaceful departure from this world and into the next where your Mom is waiting on him.

What a great find and deal on the hay. Jiggs is some real good hay. And to have the trailer loaded up too, what more could you ask for? Yeah, I know, you could ask for them to come unload and stack it up.…...riiiiight.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Yeah, I know, you could ask for them to come unload and stack it up.…...riiiiight.

Riiiiiight….that didn't happen. I only got 20 of 'em unloaded before dark last night. I'm having to level the area that I'm putting the pallets down for hay cuz the dogs have dug huge craters in there...nothing like making my work harder! I'll get it finished this weekend but I'm not gonna kill myself getting it done. No rain in the forecast until mid week - so no rush. And, they'll be baling round bales soon too - so I told 'em to call me when they do. I'd much rather have rounds than squares - but I wanted some to get some "insurance" hay while the getting was good.

We had our big competition with five other schools today.... for the first time in 15 years we didn't win overall champs. Guess the streak had to come to an end eventually.

 

[baymule]

Stacking hay......making steps so you can stack it higher...…