Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

Ah I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry

Thanks ya'll - this was tough... I think all of us are taking it pretty hard. Dad was such a unique character - tough until the end. He sure went out his way - fighting, lol! His caregiver told me she was cleaning him up this morning and he shook his fist at her when she touched his sore leg. She apologized to him, he nodded - then he took a deep breath and didn't take any more. I'm sad that I wasn't there for him - but it wouldn't have changed the outcome.

For a long time dad wanted to be sure that he got to taste quail - he made me promise to cook him some. Then life happened and I never did it until just the other day. When I made him some potato soup earlier this week I cooked it in a quail broth - just for that specific reason - because I told him I would. He really chowed down on that soup. Except for oatmeal for breakfast the next day and some Ensure yesterday, it was his last meal.

My brother was a little surprised when I told him that dad wanted to be buried in blue bib overalls. But, that's another promise I made dad - so he's gonna be rockin' those overalls! I think my brother wanted to protest - but he didn't. It wouldn't matter though - cuz I don't break my promises.

 

[sumi]

FEM, it has been a heck of a few months for you, from having them move in with you, to moving them to assisted living, to now losing them both… I didn't get to meet or know them, except through your stories and updates here, but I feel sad, for your mom passing and now your dad as well… I guess in a way we grew fond of them too, we felt we knew them too? Please talk about him and your mom as much as you'd like, we're here for you and we care.

I like the idea of burying him in those overalls! And good on you for keeping your promises! I had to fight my mom a little bit to have my dad's last wishes respected, but I'm so glad I did. It's the last/least we can do for them.

 

[Mini Horses]

2X everything Sumi said (and so well!).

FEM, words cannot convey how sad I am for you. Your dad passed in his own way and YES...bib overalls! So hard to lose them both in such a short time but, I think he wanted to be with your mom! I'm sure they are back together again. There should be some comfort in that thought and while it isn't there now, it may be later. Peace be with all of you and your family, it's been a tough several months.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

It's been a weird couple of days. Yesterday I was profoundly sad. After I got home from the Assisted Living Facility I sat down at the computer - went back and re-read this journal starting from the time mom and dad came to live with me through recent times. That really was a rough period, but I'm happy to say there was some laughter along with the tears. Reading this journal reminded me of that.

This is the first weekend I don't have anything I have to do. Nowhere I have to be. No one I need to check on. Very strange feeling compared to the last 11 months of my life. No final plans have been made because I can't meet with the funeral home until Monday...but I asked that they pencil our service in for Tuesday.

 

[baymule]

I am sorry for the loss of your Dad, but I rejoice in him being set free. No more pain and anguish. Your Mom was waiting on him and they are together again. It is so hard to let them go, but we have no choice in the matter. You will be busy, getting the arrangements done and settling their estate. Just know we all care about you and we are here for you.

 

[sumi]

FEM Thinking of you and sending hugs across the pond.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks Sumi. I appreciate it. Hugs back atcha!

You will be busy, getting the arrangements done and settling their estate.

I'll start making those phone calls tomorrow. One thing I still have to do is file their taxes from last year. We filed for an extension in April so I've got to get on that. Ugh. I need to get an appointment this week with my CPA to get that done and to answer all my other questions.

Well….It's baaaaack. The African dust and I'm already feeling it. Nooooooo! I will not get sick again. I just finished antibiotics on Thursday from the last assault of the dust. I won't be going outside without a dust mask. I can only hope that it helps. Poor critters!

 

[sumi]

Oh no, please don't get sick again now! I hope you'll be able to get everything sorted out without issues, so you can get a much needed break. You had a crazy few months

 

[baymule]

African dust-your nemesis. Try not to get a snort full of heebie-jeebies swarming around in that imported dust.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I'm kinda laughing at myself today. I've always been the person who gets busy when times get challenging. My house, yard, and the critters/pens were absolutely spotless when I was going through my divorce a lifetime ago.

I've been feeling a bit restless these past couple days. But, in light of this African dust mess and hiding indoors - my house is about to be spotless again. (gotta give some credit to Rumba, lol) I'm fixin' to go pull down the curtains in my bedroom and wash them. They're full of dust - but not of the African type....