Wifezilla
Low-Carb Queen - RIP: 1963-2021
Mine did too. Reading Good Calories Bad Calories by Gary Taubes really helps me sort through any new "study" that comes out. Of course, it almost made my head explode, but it was worth it
Is drinking water bad for you?
- Thread starter Dace
- Start date
abifae
Abinormal Butterfly
Bread Kills! (Auntie, I know I know....)
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/breadkills.html
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/breadkills.html
lwheelr
Lovin' The Homestead
I've narrowed it down to a single rule:
If it is REAL food, without bits removed or chemicals or artificial nutrients added, and if it doesn't make my stomach hurt, I eat it, enjoy it, and don't worry about whether someone else says it is healthy or not.
Some good foods still give me problems because I still have residual damage from Crohn's.
I really shy away from the whole commercial "healthy" thing though. I mean the low carb market is a great example, they take perfectly healthy carbohydrates, remove all the healthy stuff to lower the carb count, throw in all sorts of chemical additives, and then say it is healthier than the way it started out! NOT! Plain, whole wheat, homemade tortillas are WAY healthier than low carb tortillas, and far better for you even if (or especially if) you have blood sugar control issues.
What they really needed to do is stop the processing of the ingredients, not to process them more!
Lotsa stuff like that. Low fat often means high chemical, and is far worse for you than healthy fats like butter, coconut oil, olive oil, organic lard, etc.
If it is REAL food, without bits removed or chemicals or artificial nutrients added, and if it doesn't make my stomach hurt, I eat it, enjoy it, and don't worry about whether someone else says it is healthy or not.
Some good foods still give me problems because I still have residual damage from Crohn's.
I really shy away from the whole commercial "healthy" thing though. I mean the low carb market is a great example, they take perfectly healthy carbohydrates, remove all the healthy stuff to lower the carb count, throw in all sorts of chemical additives, and then say it is healthier than the way it started out! NOT! Plain, whole wheat, homemade tortillas are WAY healthier than low carb tortillas, and far better for you even if (or especially if) you have blood sugar control issues.
What they really needed to do is stop the processing of the ingredients, not to process them more!
Lotsa stuff like that. Low fat often means high chemical, and is far worse for you than healthy fats like butter, coconut oil, olive oil, organic lard, etc.
lwheelr
Lovin' The Homestead
Thanks abifae. Nothing like a healthy dose of sarcasm to neutralize stupidity.
freemotion
Food Guru
Abi! Your statistics will be even higher if you replace the bread with water.....I'm pretty sure 100% of criminals have had water to drink at one point in their lives....maybe Dace's friend is right...
***runs off to remove all items in the fridge containing water***
***runs off to remove all items in the fridge containing water***
Wifezilla
Low-Carb Queen - RIP: 1963-2021
LOL Exactly! I low carb on REAL food. Not the Frankenfoods pushed by food companies trying to make a buck off low carb dieters. FYI, the company that owns Cinnabun just bought Atkins Nutritionals.
Yeah like that is going to be good...NOT!Hey free...check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw
lwheelr
Lovin' The Homestead
I think that Penn and Teller nailed it in one of the last sentences. "They aren't so much environmentalists as joiners."
A lot of people just jump on the bandwagon of whatever is next - oat fiber, low fat, low carb, low sugar, organic, etc, without really thinking about what they are doing, or what the long term outcomes are, and that what they are DOING won't necessarily get them what they are trying to achieve.
I think we have a lot of sheep out there that just herd off in whatever direction is popular, and they don't stop to actually think or research the matter.
So you can persuade someone that drinking water is bad for them, because they just won't think it out.
A lot of people just jump on the bandwagon of whatever is next - oat fiber, low fat, low carb, low sugar, organic, etc, without really thinking about what they are doing, or what the long term outcomes are, and that what they are DOING won't necessarily get them what they are trying to achieve.
I think we have a lot of sheep out there that just herd off in whatever direction is popular, and they don't stop to actually think or research the matter.
So you can persuade someone that drinking water is bad for them, because they just won't think it out.
FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
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I think I will start a fad diet.
eat just bread plain
1/2 oxidized apple per day
no water
for 3 weeks
but before I send this information to you on this great new fast way to lose weight and get healthy---I want payment upfront.....cause if ya croak I want my money!
I should be throwing this out on the net soon--I take PayPal too
eat just bread plain
1/2 oxidized apple per day
no water
for 3 weeks
but before I send this information to you on this great new fast way to lose weight and get healthy---I want payment upfront.....cause if ya croak I want my money!
I should be throwing this out on the net soon--I take PayPal too
freemotion
Food Guru
FC!And WZ, I almost wet my chair (see, excessive urination! It's true!) watching that video!
